Monday, March 13, 2006

That's how you win tournaments

"That's how you win tournaments!!" - Random Chumash tournament retard

So apparently the way to win tournaments is to play like an idiot, make unprofitable calls, stupid moves, and draw out on Chris by catching a 2-outer. I was unaware of that information until the Random Chumash tournament retard shouted it across the tournament room on Saturday after catching a miracle.

A quick review of the last $200+20 buy-in will show that the door card was both my glimmer of hope and my introduction to eternal damnation on the day of the tournament. This time was no different. After last Saturday it seems like the door card is going to haunt me in my dreams in every tournament I play. I played well for the first hour and a half, and in one foul swoop my dreams of $50,000 were crushed again. Enter scenario:

Elapsed Time: > 1.5 hours
Blinds: 100/200
Players: < 550
My Stack: 3100

I post the BB for 200 while the action folds around to a middle position player who pushes all-in for 500. A player in late position calls, and the button calls. The small blind folds and I have the option. I look down at

The first player who had called was a superdonk. Let's call him Retard Guy In A Frickin Dumb Yellow Hat......k wait. Let's just call him superdonk (SD). Said SD was making the most retarded calls, yet seemed to be accumulating chips by catching miracle after miracle. In one pot not too long before the aforementioned hand, SD called off 1100 into a 250 pot with nothing but a 7-high inside straight draw. For those of you who don't understand why this is a bad call, please feel free to contact me for specific reasoning.

...I look down at QQ. With 1,800 already in the pot, and my short-ish stack of 3,100, I pushed all in for another 2,900. SD laughingly collects 4 more orange chips and 4 black chips and tosses them into the pot. I flip over my pocket queens, the all-in flips over A5d, and SD turns over pocket 44. Against the pocket 4s I'm over an 80% favorite to win the hand, and I'm not really concerned about the A5 because the main pot was only worth 1,500, while the side pot is worth 5,000. So the superdonk

Every time the superdonk had been in a hand as an underdog (and that was every time) he would start chanting for his one miracle card to hit. "Five! Five!" or "King! King!" For those of you who don't know, you will be seen as just about the biggest asshole in the game if you are heard doing this. This is just bad etiquette, and furthermore is very immature of a poker player. This often irritates a lot of people, especially me.

...So the superdonk starts chanting for a miracle four. The dealer pushes the three cards off of the top of the deck, gathers them, and, lo and behold, as he turns the cards over the first one off (the door card) is a 4. Great. A miracle 2-outer hits home and the motherfu.......the SD smacks his hands together and starts shouting "YES YES YES!!! THAT'S HOW YOU WIN A TOURNAMENT!!"

I'm sorry?

"YES YES YES!! THAT'S HOW YOU WIN A TOURNAMENT!!"

I have this replaying in my mind over and over again, and I can only laugh at the fact that the guy probably didn't even make it past the hour. It sucks to lose, and as I've stated in the past I don't really mind much anymore, as I know it's part of the game. But to lose to an asshole really doesn't sit well with me, and it irks me to know that someone like him ruined my chances at a big score. I'm already looking forward to next time though, so I'm OK.

After the tournament our usual Saturday group went to get lunch and headed back to Uncle Paul's cabin about 15 minutes away from the casino. There we (Darsky, Joel, Dena, and Paul) sat around and played darts, and played some quarter games. Beat the dummy, screw your neighboor, challenge, and few other fun ones were thrown in the mix. And after we finished up with that we all headed to this great steak house, which has kind of grown into a tradition for the group of us after these tournaments every few months.

After dinner I headed back up to the casino with Darsky to play some 2/5 NL, and when we arrived we were both surprised to see the card room almost dead. Earlier you couldn't even get a seat, and when we got there it seemed like a table couldn't even be filled, which was weird for a tournament night. So we sat at the same table and played shorthanded for mose of the night, as players kept coming and going, keeping the game at 5- to 7-handed. We played for about 5 hours and I ended up $170 winner for the session, which was ok by me cuz we were playing shorthanded and the table was really tight, with the exception of one kid. Also, earlier in the day I had played blackjack with Dena for half an hour and ended up $150 winner there. I then dropped $100 of it back to Let It Ride with Paul, so I was still up $50 for steak later that evening. Overall after expenses, I profitted $180 on the night/morning, and it was pleasure money, not bankroll money, so it's definitely a sweeter taste.

Speaking of bankroll money, last time I blogged I had dropped from $740 down to $644 in a bad run of SnGs. But I played 3 SnGs on Friday, and ended up taking 5th, 2nd, and 1st. Then I played one more tonight before I went out and took 1st for that, which puts me back at $796. I really played well in the one I played tonight, and I should be able to put some time in this week for sure, cuz I keep saying I will but I never find time. I will probably post a few hands tomorrow cuz I'm tired right now and I gotta sleep so I can wake up in the morning, so keep an eye out for some hair-raisingly good hand analysis-es.

Until next time.

Bankroll: $796

1 comment:

Don said...

What a retard. I hate when people like that do well in tournaments. It urks me. Just have satisfaction that his poker career will go as far as John McEnroe's talk show career.


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