Tuesday, January 09, 2007


On a side note, I'd just like to say that Julia Roberts has never looked better than she did in Pretty Woman. I dunno why, but it probably has something to do with the male gender's fascination with slutty women. There's just somethin about it...

In other news, ever since I've gotten over being sick last week, I've had this weird taste/smell that's just constantly in my head. I don't necessarily taste it every second of the day, but whenever I walk into a room it seems like there's this weird stink that's hanging around inside the room, even though I smell it everywhere.

I don't know how to describe it, it's kind of a musty, old, dirty stank. It's almost as if it's a hellish smell mixed with something that tried to clean it, yet failed miserably and just got tangled with the stench. It's always in the back of my nose and it doesn't usually hit me until I walk into a room. Then I get smacked in the face and almost throw up every time.

And now when I'm eating certain foods, I get this stupid taste in my mouth. A couple foods that I used to enjoy taste different, and some beverages that I used to find oh so refreshing, now taste like balls. Not that I know what balls taste like, but I'd have to assume they taste somewhere around the nastiness that I'm experiencing.

It just seems like every time I take a swig of a Corona it tastes horrible, which is weird because I'm a total Corona kind of guy. But lately it's like it was made with dirty mud water or something, which obviously may be true because it's Mexican beer. But even when I go to pound a Mountain Dew like I used to do before three weeks ago, it seems almost tasteless. It feels like the entire inner workings of my tongue and throat has been changed, which is really dumb because I love to eat and smell things.

Don't judge me.

Of course it's entirely possible that I'm making this up and it's all in my head. And as for the smells, for the past couple days the entire town of Santa Barbara has smelled like an open container of fish guts baking in a Summer heat. Every time you step outside you smell a little bit of somethin close to death and seared flesh and fish.

My head's kind of been in a business mode lately, and this whole new world of smells and tastes is pushing me towards creating a new line of fragrances, which will creatively be called "Hellish Smells". Any investors?

Now now I know it may not sound like a great idea, but think of the world we live in nowadays! With the vast world of the internet and intertube surfers, there's a market for everything. If I can open up a shop online, I'm sure I'll be a millionaire before the year's end. And at that point I can even bottle up these ridiculous tastes and get a line of Hellish Smells beverages called...get this..."Aftertaste". Holy crap think of the possibilities! I'll be waiting by the phone for any interested monies.

In the meantime while I'm still working for someone else, the fucker in the next room over keeps listening to the same three songs over and over again, and they just so happen to be the gayest songs that man has ever created and recorded. I keep trying to keep the door closed, but for some reason he finds it wildly fascinating to open it back up every three seconds. Go to hell, I officially hate you.

Haha, oh man...good ole' office workings. I think I'm gonna tuck myself away for the rest of the day. I definitely am having a case of the Thursdays. I gotta get outta here.

Until next time.

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