Dear Sweet Becca

This is the first strong piece of personal writing that I've done in a while. It's mostly dark in context, but it's got a good ending in there somewhere.

Any longtime readers of this blog know that over the past year I've been troubled on and off with depression. For the most part I've always been an upbeat guy. I'm always sociable, I love meeting new people, and I've never had a problem with just being happy with life.

But after I broke up with Becca (my girlfriend of three years) two years ago, things took a major turn for the worse. I felt like my whole world got turned upside down, and I really felt that without her I couldn't be happy. I was convinced (and still am) that she made my life worth living.

I feel terrible to this day that things turned out the way they did towards the end of our relationship, since it finished off with bouts of yelling and frustration, followed by sorrow and regret. And the main reason that I feel bad is that it's because of the way that we left each other that I never got to make her understand how she really made me feel. There were so many things that she did for me mentally that she helped me out more than she'll ever be able to understand.

My parents were divorced since I was one year old, so my childhood was filled with constant mental battery. The bickering and shit-talking was never muted between my mother and father, no matter if I was standing directly next to them or not. One instance in particular occured when my dad and step-dad almost got in a fist fight right in front of my eyes when I was eight years old on the night of my dad's wedding rehearsal.

After that I didn't look at my step-dad the same for a long time, even though I know now that he helped form me into a great person throughout our years living together. For the most part I was in custody with my mom and him. I lived with them for the majority of my childhood, though I saw my dad on weekends.

On those weekends I would hear over and over how my mom fucked my dad right in the ass, and how if I really loved him I would cry in front of the judge to show how much I really wanted to be with my dad, even though at that point in my life I could never really decide which house I liked best. For the whole weekend I would have a longing to go back to my mom's house. But on Sunday nights, I would get dropped off back at home, and when it was time to go to bed, instead of sleeping I would sit in bed and cry at the fact that I'd have to wait another five days before I got to see him again.

I hated my mom for the fact that her and my step-dad had money and were excellent savers, yet they were such good savers that I never got any money for field trips like the rest of the kids, nor did I get the newest toys or games for Christmas. I wouldn't get the Sega Genesis until two years after it came out, because by that time they could buy one for a quarter of the release price. Same when the Playstation was released.

On the opposite side my dad gave me everything that I wanted, along with some stuff that I didn't. He wanted me to be HIS son so bad that in the brief amount of time that we got to spend together, he pushed me over my mental and emotional limits.

He wanted me to be a bowler since he had spent a small amount of time on the PBA and owned his own bowling proshop for years. I sucked and was seven-years-old so I didn't care enough to get better. That, of course, prompted him to go into hysterical outbursts of yelling, most of the time resulting in me feeling like shit because I couldn't please my father.

After that he wanted me to be in the Cub Scouts. It was fun for a while. It gave me a chance to see my dad on the weekdays, and gave us some father son time on outings on the weekends. But about three-quarters of the way through the first year, in a moment of rage, he unenrolled me because I wanted to skip out on one meeting. That sucked badly.

Then it was onto little league baseball where I played outfield and felt like a failure, because at that point after the years of listening to the disappointment in my father's voice I could only imagine what me sitting in left field picking my ass and staring at the ground made HIM feel like.

That was how the earlier part of my childhood went.

I never really settled down in one town, either. By the time I got to high school I had gone to three different elementary schools (one of them I had gone to twice with a two year break in between attendances), two junior highs, and two different families. I had had a chance to live with my dad for a year after my mom went through some relationship problems with my step-father, and after a year I moved back in with her. And considering that junior high school only consisted of two grades back when I was in it, having two schools under my belt meant one thing: I had no solid friends.

I was able to keep in contact with two friends from my early child years, both of whom I had known since I was three. I still consider one of them my closest friend in life. But being constantly moved around as a child really sucked, because when you're that young being in uncomfortable territory is about the last thing you want to do.

In order to have some sense of belonging, I would try as hard as I could to get a base of friends whenever I moved. If there some who didn't like me, I would do some crazy shit that they couldn't believe I would do so that they would at least be intrigued by me. Of course back then that meant jumping off the top of the tallest slide or launching myself off the swings right in front of the yard duty only seconds after they warned me not to. An in my (somewhat desperate) attempt to make everybody my friend, I made quite a few kids annoyed, a lesson of what-not-to-do's that I learned in my later years as a child.

In any case, in my time I learned how to make friends easily, which is a trait that I'll never be able to ditch. When I got to high school I was finally able to settle in one town for more than three years. At least I had that going for me.

I got a job as soon as I turned 16. My mom and step-dad were on their way to becoming millionaires thanks to their diligent price-cutting living, while my dad had hit the bottom of the spiked pit of financial death, only to be rescued by his new wife. My mom got me a used car, but she'd be damned if she had to spend her money to pay it off. So, off to Taco Bell I went. And to this day, I was the best fucking employee that Taco Bell had ever seen.

In all the years of my upbringing, if there was one thing that my mom and step-dad had taught me, it was that hard work leads to having nice things. And I appreciate that more than they'll ever hear me say it. If they were to read this right now, they should know that while I thought they were hard-asses when I was younger, I understand in full why they did the things that they did. And looking back on it while I'm writing this, I know I describe them in a lot harsher manner than they actually were.

So after dominating the fast food industry, I was able to put my ability to be sociable, along with my strive to work hard, to use when I became a bus boy/waiter over the following few years. That was when I first got my taste of free money. While paying my car off with my paycheck, I then had money from tips to spend on extra shit. It was at this point that I really got my first real taste of independence.

I was finally able to break free from the black clouds that were my two families of divorced parents, and I could go and find stable ground with something, anything. It was a little while after this that I met Becca, who, even though I didn't know it or even have any idea that I was supposed to, was exactly what my life had needed.

I remember the day I met her like it was yesterday. I remember exactly what she was wearing (pink tanktop and a tiny pair of pink and white checkered shorts), and I remember where we were and exactly what we were doing and talking about. I remember exactly what she looked like the first time she smiled at me, and I remember almost every minute of the first night we hung out together.

I knew that I would remember that day forever when it happened, and it was on that day I knew that I was falling in love. And I would end up falling in love with her more than I thought possible. She turned into my everything. She was all I thought about, all I worked for, and all I strived to be a better person for. She was, at that moment, the person I was living my life for.

Of course there was no way that I could've shown her that then (and I tried in vain to explain it to her around the time we broke up three years later, but it's hard to imagine that she truly understood it.)

By that time I had hit the stage of life where you hate your parents and they're "so stupid", and I had to experience it twice as much as anyone else at my age. She was there to calm me down, though. I also started slacking in school, but there she was to make sure I finished strong so I could get into college.

And for the first year of college, she was there for me still. My living situation was hellish, and in turn was having an effect on my freshman year at CSUN. But she was there to boost me up and try (she tried hard) to help me out. And I loved her for it. I loved her to the bottom of my heart.

Unfortunately, it came to an end and I thought I was gonna die. My unwillingness to let her go only made the breakup bitter, and as I slipped away into my own black hole I almost dragged her with me. I'm glad that she was able to get out and do her own thing, cuz I wouldn't ever want her to feel what I felt when I realized that she was gone.

Shortly after we broke up, I moved out to Santa Barbara, desperate to find a way to get her off my mind. And it's here that I've been ever since, trying to do just that. I got a job, a job that turned into a decent job with decent pay, and I'm living in a town that is built on partying and having a good time living on the beach.

Most people would die to be in my position, yet for some reason that I hadn't been able to figure out, I was just so depressed. I put up a good fight for a while, trying to convince myself that I was fine, but the more I did that the more the depression fought back harder.

But something happened the other day that now has me completely high on life. For the first time since I saw Her smile at me years ago, something made me truly happy. And the odd thing about it is that it was Her that's done it to me again.

For some random reason I decided to write her a note online the other day, and last Tuesday night she ended up coming up to dinner and hanging out with me for a little bit. She's going through some of her own personal stuff, and I listened to most of it. And it felt so good.

Being able to see her again......being able to hear her voice and to see her beautiful face once again was something that I didn't think I'd be able to do. And to feel now what it felt like then just to be in her presence, was something that I'd been missing since we fell apart. And after being a mild depressive for the past year, I'm finally feeling happy again, and it's all from one night with her.

I know that both of our lives have moved on, and I'm actually happy for the both of us. We wouldn't get back together, nor would we get close to it. Who knows if we'll ever see each other again. I do know that I still love her to death, and had it not been for the night we had together, I'm not sure I would've snapped out of this deep slump for a long time to come.

I can only hope that one day soon we'll have time to hang out again. If not, I'm completely content with the feeling she's left me with this time around.

The Bad Run Continues

The payout from the Royal, the only thing that went right this weekend.

The whole time spent in the cardrooms the previous two nights had me feeling crushed. I felt like bad luck was shattering my bones and slicing my morale in pieces, and it wasn't about to get better.

After we woke up on Saturday we realized that in our drunken stupor in the early morning, we had lost Darsky's $700 jacket somewhere between the Caesar's sportsbook bar and the nasty cafe in the Flamingo. And to boot he had his $90 sunglasses in the jacket pocket.

Immediately he went on Lost Jacket Tilt (LJT) and jumped on the phone to the Flamingo's lost and found department. The asshole on the other end of the phone didn't make him feel any better, nor did the news that they didn't have anything that matched his description.

He tried to call over to Caesar's but couldn't get through, so we walked across the bridge and checked it out personally. He had no luck there either so we decided to head over to the Wynn to grab some food and hopefully play through my bad luck streak and his bad loss.

We went to the Red8 after thoroughly enjoying it last trip, and to further irritate Darsky's LJT we found out that they discontinued serving his preferred dish. Oops. My chicken chow mein (so good!) was still in tact, yet upon advice from the waiter Dar went with a poached chicken plate that disgusted him beyond his wildest dreams.

I thought it was quite funny, and we got some good potstickers so everything ended up alright as far as I was concerned. I was feeling pretty refreshed after hitting the Royal for the pull back to even the night before.

Down the walkway in the poker room there was an action $8-16 table going as I expected. I bought in for $300 in brown $2 chips and took a seat in the 7 seat. They were playing 10-handed, but like I've said before I love how they made the tables at the Wynn bigger than your normal table so it wasn't too cramped.

I immediately started off picking up $100 in the first half hour and was feeling great. The table was soft and full of fishies and I was able to pick up a lot of good hands right off the bat, as well as throughout the rest of the night. The only difference between the beginning and the end of the night was that I was winning at first.

Other than the first hour, the rest of the time at the table was on par with how my Thursday and Friday night went.

There was a very big donklady in the 4s who managed to chop a lot of pots with me and everyone else. She ended up 4-betting me with 33 preflop in one pot, which really had me confused, as well as when she flat called all the way to showdown with turned trip Kings. She was practically playing every hand wrong and getting lucky along the way.

I managed to get Aces cracked twice on the river for ~$200 pots, both of them to boards under 10-high, and both of them to runner-runner flush. By the end of the second hour after getting AK, AA, and QQ multiple times and playing them aggressively every time, no one at the table wanted to believe that I actually had a hand, regardless of the fact that I hadn't showed down a bluff or a weak hand the entire session.

I dwindled after getting sucked out on multiple times, with the final time coming after I tagged on another $100 onto a low stack. I picked up the Kc-Kh and raised after two limpers. I got two callers behind and we took a flop five-handed. The flop came up 6c-7c-10c. The SB checked and the UTG limper tossed out $8. I bumped it to $16, and we had one call and both the button and the SB folded before the UTG limper three-bet.

I flat called, sensing a set or the straight, or maybe both. I wasn't ready to fold on that board, and it probably had something to with how the night had been going. The cutoff called behind me and took the turn of the 2h. UTG bet out and I called, as did the guy behind me.

The river was an ugly Ad and UTG bet out again. I folded and the cutoff flat called. UTG showed 7-10off for a flopped two pair, while the cutoff flipped over 6-6 for a flopped set. I was drawing to a live K and any club, and blank blanked for another decent sized pot. I picked up with what I had left after that and took off for a walk.

I walked around the casino floor for a little bit and saw a fuckin amazing hot little blonde with a hotty mom walkin around. I eventually found a quarter blackjack table and went on a nice rush for a little bit. During that rush the hot mom and the smokin hot blonde came up and sat down. The mom sat in the seat directly to my left while the young hottie sat to her left.

"You're going to have to teach us how to play cuz we don't know what we're doing."

I think I busted a nut right here

"Haha ok no problem."

I did it again right here

"Good!"

And I shot my load a third time after that.

Darsky finally racked out of his game after only a couple hours and I dropped off $300 after my hot streak ended at the blackjack table. At that point, leaving the chicks at the table hurt more than the total money loss I had taken up to that point.

We made an early night out of the Wynn so we could wake up on time for check out on Sunday. We checked out at noon and took to Caesar's again to check out the action on the last day. I headed to the poker room while Dar checked the lost and found one more time for a last chance at recovering his $800 lost.

There was no $2-5NL goin, so I waited by the sportsbook for a couple minutes before Darsky walked up wearing his jacket with a huge smile on his face. Congrats on the find, dude.

We headed over to the Bellagio's $2-5NL game where I got snapped off for my whole stack when I check-raised my A-Js on a flop of A-2-4 from $30 to $120 against a guy who mega-tilting and who had been playing 11 hands straight. I shoved another $200 all-in when a 5 hit the turn and was insta-called by the asshole, who had played 10-3offsuit for a total of $200 before the turn. I was super pissed and stayed in the sportsbook until Darren was ready to go home.

We ended up hittin up the Rainforest Cafe for some chicken fried chicken before we made the drive back home, because for some reason I love that meal at that place.

All in all, besides the royal flush at the sports bar and the awesome food Vegas has to offer, I got horribly unlucky all weekend and dropped $1600. It was a degrading weekend poker-wise for sure, but we met some cool people and had a good time nonetheless, so I'm definitely looking forward to makin the drive again next month.

Until next time.

First Night Bad Run and Some Redemption

After we arrived at around 1AM on Thursday night/Friday morning we decided to hit up the Mirage to see what kind of action was going. We got there and the room was bustling, so I jumped into a soft $10-20 game while Darsky took a seat at the $2-5NL.

I started off dumping a little bit to what I thought was an easy table. I was playing alright but after not playing since the first weekend of December I was a little rusty. I dumped off my first buy and rebought, knowing I could take down the whole table. Within an hour I got my whole buy-in back and was looking clean.

Then the table started dying and we ended up five-handed with a newcomer who went on a total heater. He ended up taking two racks off of the other four of us within an hour, and then the table broke. It was pretty disheartening after getting my shit together to win my buy-in back just to have a guy go on an hour long win. But that's poker.

I was suffering from TTT (Ten-Twenty Tilt) and jumped into an open seat next to Dar at the $2-5NL table. On about my third hand I donked off my buy to a crazy asian guy. I had no read and no reason to make the move I did on him, but I went for it and got boned. I then put myself on BPT and continued to bleed chips for the most part of the morning.

I headed over to the blackjack table with what I had left and after three hours was able to pick up $100 and a free comp to the buffet. It wasn't much, and wasn't even close to getting me even, but it was better than a total loss.


We checked into our hotel room after we ate breakfast, and passed out almost immediately. We woke up at around 7PM and grabbed a bite to eat at Gordon Beirsch. I've never been to GB before but Darsky had told me that I had to try it. There's a few out in LA that he's had the pleasure of enjoying, so I was pretty confident in his read that the one in Vegas was going to kick ass just as much as the SoCal locations.

We grabbed a delicious burger and a couple homemade brews, and were lucky enough to get served by the only hot bartender/server in the whole place (Vegas has a way of attracting the hottest women visitors you can find, yet most of the locals are just ass-ugly.) Needless to say I was impressed with the place and enjoyed both the food and the beer.

After we ate John called up and said he was down to hang out and play cards. We decided to go to Caesar's since when we here in December there was no action the day we stopped in. Again, we were pleased to find a buzzing room. It was interesting to see how much $1-2NL action was going on, and in talking with the dealers it seems that Caesar's has some of the most $1-2NL action on the strip.

Being low on funds and finding a bunch of action, I decided to jump into a $1-2 game while Dar took to the upper stage to play $2-5NL. John showed up a couple minutes after I got a seat, and he was able to snag a newly opened $1-2 table as well. After a little while he was able to come to my table and we had a pretty good table talk going.

I never really got anything big going, but was able to double my starting stack multiple times. Unfortunately playing $1-2NL will put you up against a lot of retards, so the swings in the game were a plenty. We had a lot of action though, so I stayed and played. Eventually I lost my whole built up stack in two big hands, and that was the end of the second night.

It wasn't a good couple nights for the record books and I was quite bitter and pissed off at Vegas. I was definitely tilting after dumping off a grand in two days.

Darsky's game closed up and we hit the bar with a couple cool 21-year-old pros while I quietly steamed off to the side. If Sean (sp?) and Brandon are reading this, post a comment up. You guys are badasses and we'll give you guys a call next time we're in town.

As the three of them were talking about their game, I tossed $20 into the quarter video poker machine as I pounded my Jack and Coke. The first hand up of Double Double Bonus I pulled the Js-2h-Jc-Ks-Qs, and instead of holding the instant winner of the pair of Jacks, I decided to donk off $1.25 and hold onto the KQJs for the Royal pull.

As.

10s.

FUCKING NO WAY!!! I pulled the royal flush on the first pull and watched as the machine took 40 seconds to pay off my $1,020. I quickly spread the word that I was getting paid 4,000 credits, and my night at that point turned around. We hung with the guys for a little bit more before they took off, and then Dar and I started drinking even more.

We met up with a couple crazy Mexican brothers who own a couple big restaurants, and were in town to spot locations on the strip to open one out here. No doubt these guys were big timers. They were way way drunk, but still fun. They were talking about inviting us to their four-bedroom suite, but Darsky was pretty sure that one of the two wanted to stick it in me, so we let them go on their way and we stayed put.

Dar and I also Keno battled, and while taking a strong lead to start and maxing out at a 5-point sprint, we ended up dead even on the final pull and I was once again dejected.

I quickly recovered from the Keno tie, and we took off from the bar at around...morning time? We grabbed a quick bite to eat from the nasty cafe downstairs, and made it up to the hotel room at around 11:30.

We woke up about an hour ago, and now it's time to head out again. With my newfound redemption at the video poker machine, I'm ready to play again. We'll probably hit up the Red8 at the Wynn and stick around there to play cards. If we don't like the action we'll head back to Caesar's, but we should be alright at the Wynn for a while.

Wish me good poker tonight.

Until next time.

The Longest Road

We’re currently on the longest road ever, the road from LA to Vegas. This is a trip that you want to take because you know what the end result will be, but you are deathly afraid of the time it takes to get there. Imagine being offered a lifetime of free money but you had to get kicked in the nuts by a horse wearing a steel shoe first. Sure the money would be great, but how do you prepare for the feeling of having your balls up in your stomach?

But this isn’t a nutsack kicking contest, it’s a car ride, so let me explain. First, you have to deal with LA traffic. We left late enough to not have to deal with it this time, but there’s still always more traffic than I’d like to deal with driving around those parts. After you get out of LA you have to be on the road for six (read three) hours before you finally hit Baker, which is a total tease.

Once you hit Baker you feel like you’re so close. After not seeing any establishments or major signs of civilizations for hours driving through the barren desert, the small town is a welcome sight. Then you realize that Vegas is “just over that hill.” You must be close, right? Isn’t that what all these buildings mean?

Negative. An hour and half later you finally hit the outskirts of Vegas, only to be waiting in anticipation for another 25 minutes after you hit Buffalo Bill’s.

Of course the trip, in its entirety, takes around four hours if planned at the right time of night. But I’m telling ya it feels a lot longer! I tend to exaggerate sometimes…

It actually goes by a lot quicker at night. When you’re driving through an oblivion of blackness you don’t have time to watch every passing cactus and bush. Cactus. Cactus. Cactus. Tumbleweed. Cactus. Yeah that gets old real quick.

It’s all of the anticipation that really makes it a long trip. Sure we could fly, but I’ll split an $80 gas tab with Darsky over a $350 plane ticket for the time being. More money for food and blackjack, two of life’s great pleasures which you know you should handle in moderation yet which you go overboard with all the time. Those and masturbation.

Anyways. We’re currently on the 15 evading slow car after slow car, and blowing past campers, trailers, and big Ralph’s semi-trucks. We passed a FedEx truck and I couldn’t help but imagine where the hell this guy was going. I almost wanted to drive the guy off the road, rip him out of the driver’s seat, and pound him into the ground until he told me where my fuckin chip racks were that I ordered two weeks ago.(I hate bad online merchants. Online merchants have become a staple of my life, and when I run across a bad one it really gets under my skin.)

After we passed him I forgot about the whole thing and was immediately teased by the Alberston’s truck. My stomach has been growling for the past couple hours, but I can’t wait to get to Vegas. I like the food out there better.

We’re on the way and I’m stoked. I made a vow to hang out with John more on this time around, so hopefully he’ll have some cash to go play with Dar and me. If not we’ll at least get some food and have a convo or two.

Oh and let me throw this in there for Darsky real quick since we’re talking about it as we’re driving. CHICKEN FRIED CHICKEN!!

Until next time.

Bonedoneskis

This is an explanation of a game I created, we amended, and now shall be known all over the world. It's first mention can be found in the entry Home Game Fun.

It was my turn to pick a dealer's choice game. I couldn't think of anything I wanted to play, since we had started the night playing Mixed, and had turned into gambling games like 3 Card Guts and Beat the Dummy.

"The name of the game, gentlemen, is Bonedoneskis. Here's how it's played. It's a six-card stud game, the stakes are one-two with a fifty-cent ante, and the low card brings in. Sevens face up are wild, and threes face up are a sell card if you pay the pot two-fifty."

And that was the start of Bonedoneskis. After a huge fit of laughter and light headedness, we got through the first hand. After we played the first hand, and after much discussion (and a bit of drunkeness/tiredness), this beautiful game was refined. If you're looking for a real man's game, read on.

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Bonedoneskis, a 6-Card Stud Game
$.50 ante, $1-2

The betting is the same as any stud game. Before the deal, every player antes $.50. Each player is then dealt two hole cards face down and one card face up. The lowest card must then automatically bring in for $.50 (wild cards count, so on a board of 7-8-10-A, the 8 would bring in since the 7 is wild and may count for an Ace). After the bring in, players must call the bring in bet, complete to $1, or fold. If anyone wishes to raise after someone has raised the bring in to $1, then they must raise in $1 increments.

After the betting round, each player still in the pot is dealt another card face up. The highest hand is then first to act, with betting increments in $1. After this betting round, one more card face up is dealt. The highest hand is first to act again, with the betting increments in $2 this time. If there is a red Jack or the Queen of spades dealt up on any player's board on fifth street, the game is then extended to a seven card-stud game.

If there is no red Jack or the Queen of spades dealt face up on fifth street, the sixth and final card is dealt face down and one more betting round occurs. The best five card hand, including wilds, wins the pot.

If there is a red Jack or the Queen of spades dealt face up on fifth street, the sixth card is dealt face up with a betting round following, and the final card is dealt face down, as in 7-card stud. However, if a red Jack or the Queen of Spades is dealt up on sixth street, the game turns into an 8-card stud game, with the seventh card being dealt face up, and the eighth and final card dealt face down. In each case, the best five card hand wins.

Now, that seems simple enough, but here is the Official List of Rules for Bonedoneskis:

1 – No Copies! – A "wild card" or "derived card" may not duplicate a card that is already in your hand. For example: If you hold the A♠-2♠-9♠-5♠-A♦-6♣ you may not use the 6♣ as an A♠, as the A♠ is already in play in your hand. (see rule #8)

2 – Stopped Dead – Any wild card or derived card may not take on the "power"(action) of the natural card. For example, if you use a wild card for a 3, you cannot use that wild as a sell card, even though it's representing a 3. (see rule #7)

3 – Stone Cold Nuts – The nuts in Bonedoneskis is 2's full of 5's. Any wild card may be used to make the nuts.

4 – 2 Hog – If a player is dealt the 2s, he has the option to take a 2 or a 5 from any player's board up until that street. The player who is stolen from does not receive a replacement card, nor must the stealer discard any of his.

5 – The 7's – 7's face up are wild.

6 – Black Jack – If a black J is face up in a player’s hand, the player must pay $2.50 to the pot upon it being dealt or revealed, or fold his hand. If a J is paid for, it is “activated” and becomes wild. If a player trades for or steals a black J after it has been activated, it remains wild.

7 – The 3’s – If a 3 is exposed, either dealt or through having a hole card turned over, you may pay $2.50 to the pot and replace your 3 with the first card off the top of the deck. If you pass your option to sell your 3 when it is dealt or exposed, you may not sell that 3 on a later street.

8 – Black 6’s – Black 6's are played as either that 6, or any Ace

9 – Red 6’s – Red 6's do not play, and are dead cards. They cannot be used to complete any hand, not even a pair. For example, if you have a red 6 in your final six card hand, your hand now contains only 5 cards.

10 – A Bonedoneskis – If a player has both red 6's face up on their board, the hand ends and the pot is automatically awarded to that player. Both red 6's must be the natural 6's (no wilds). This is known as a Bonedoneskis.

11 – Ace Option – Any Ace plays as that Ace or a red 6. For example: If you hold the
A♠-2♥-4♥-5♥-3♥-6♥, even though the natural 6♥ doesn't play, the A♠ could
play as the 6♥, giving you a straight flush, 6-high.

12 – Trade Cards – If a player is dealt the 9♦, 10♠, or 2♥ face up, that player MUST trade that card with any other player's up card from that street.

13 – No Retrade – If a player trades one trade card for another, the second trade is then void. For example, if you trade the 9♦ for the 10♠, you can not trade the 10♠ with another card.

14 – 8 Ball – If a player is dealt the 8♠, he has the option to pay $2.50 to the pot to trade the 8♠ with any card on any other player’s board, whether it was from the current street or a previous street. If a player passes on the option to trade when dealt the 8♠, that player may not use that option at a later time.

15 – Killer 4 – If the 4♣ is face down, that hand will be ruled dead at showdown. You may try to bluff with the 4♣ face down and win without showing down. However if the 4♣ is revealed in a showdown the hand is automatically dead.

16 – Dueling Snowmen – If the two red 8's are dealt consecutively face up, the game must stop immediately and the two players who are dealt the 8's must each pay $2.50 to a side spot. Those two players will then each be dealt three cards from a seperate deck and play war, best two of three cards, where the winner will then be awarded the side pot.The Bonedoneskis hand will then complete as usual. War can be instigated in between streets. For example, if the last card of third street is a red 8, and the first card of fourth street is the other red 8, a war is instituted.

17 – Queen of Hearts – If the Q♥ is face up, the person holding the Q♥ has the option to pick any hole card of any player, and then the person must turn that card face up for the rest of the hand. Once turned face up, that card may be turned face down once again as a result of the 4-tician rule. (see rule #19)

18 – The King’s Men – If a black King is face up, the person holding the black King must turn over one of his own hole cards. That person may pick which one he wants to turn up.

19 – 4-tician – When a red 4 is face up, either by being dealt or by having a hole card exposed, the person holding the red 4 may make any person turn one of their board cards face down. For example, if Player A holding the X-X-6♠-4♣-Q♥ makes Player B expose one of his hole cards, and he exposes a 4♥, Player B can then make Player A turn down the 4♣ and Player A's hand now cannot win at showdown.

20 – Codependent 2’s – If a player is dealt the 2♦ or the 2♣ on fourth, fifth, sixth, or seventh street, he may then combine that 2 with the card on its immediate left while retaining the suit of the left-hand card. For example, if your board reads X-X-7♥-5♦-2♣, you may then combine the 5♦ and 2♣ to make a 7♦, wherein your board will now read as a pair of sevens. If you combine two cards, those cards can either play as the combined card OR the separate cards at showdown. For example: the hand J♥-9♥-5♠-9♦-2♣-J♣ does not read as J's full of 9's, only three J's with a 9 and a 5. You may not duplicate a card that is already in your hand. For example, you cannot combine the 8♣, 2♦ to make the 10♣ if you already have the 10♣ in your hand.

21 – I Got The Nine – If a person is dealt the 9♠ face up, every player at the table who is still in the hand must pay that player $1. The player must point out that he’s holding the 9♠ for the required payment to be valid. However, if a trade card is dealt in the same round and the trade is for the 9♠, no one must pay either the original 9♠ holder or the player now in possession.

22 – Schizo4nia – If the 4♠ is face up on:
third street, it counts as the 4♠ or the 8♠
fourth street, it counts as the 4♠ or the Q♠
fifth street, it counts as the 4♠ or a pair of 4's (4♠, 4 no suit)

23 – Fishing Hook in a Sailboat and a Liferaft – If a player's board shows both a Jack and 4, that player must pay $2.50 to the pot or fold. A player may be saved from paying this fee if there is an 8 (Liferaft) separating the Jack and the 4. For example: a board of X-X-J-4-8 would have to pay $2.50, while a board of X-X-4-8-J would not.

24 – The Krabler Rule – If a player is dealt the Krabler (K3) in sequence, that player must automatically bet if checked to, or raise if bet to, one time that round. For example: your board reads X-X-K and you are dealt a 3 on fourth street, and decide not to sell that 3, you must bet or raise one time on that betting round. Similarly, if your board reads X-X-J-3-K, you must also bet or raise once during that betting round. However, if your board were to read X-X-K-J-3, no action would be required since they were not dealt on consecutive streets.

25 – The River King – If a red King was origially dealt face down as a hole card, but is turned up either through the Q♥ or a black King, and remains up through the remainder of the hand, the river is then dealt face up to all other players.

26 – Straight Up Face Down Trade– If a player's board reads three cards in numerical order, either ascending or descending order, that player must trade a down card with the neighbor closest to the highest card in the sequence. The sequence may appear anywhere on a player's board. The trade must be a random pick from either player. For example: If you are dealt the X-X-6♣-5-4, you would randomly pick a hole card from the player to your left, while he would pick a hole card of yours. Similarly, if your board read X-X-4-10-J♥-Q♣, you would trade a hole card with the person to your right.

27 – Precedence – All “trade” actions take precedence over any other card actions and must take place before any “buy” option. For example, if the first player is dealt the J♠ and the second player is dealt the 9♦, the second player must execute the trade first. If the J♠ is taken in the trade, the player must act on the Black Jack rule. Similarly, if you must trade with a 3, you then have the option to sell that three.

28 – Precedence Pt. II – All other actions (such as trades, steals, reveals, or buys) must be executed in the order they are dealt, starting from the left of the dealer.

29 – Nighty-Night – It is known that any action or power of any card except for the trade cards may be slept. Sleeping a card means that if you don’t recognize your own card’s action, no one is required to tell you. For example: if a player is dealt the 9♠ and doesn’t ask for a $1, then no one is required to pay that person.

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And that, ladies and gentlemen, is Bonedoneskis. If the rules seem unclear, it is only because you haven't played the game yet. Once you really get the game going and ave a decent grasp on the concepts and rules of Bonedoneskis, you will understand the true poker strategy required to win the game.

Start playin it, and I hope you all enjoy it as much as we now do. If you have any questions on the game or the rules, leave a comment in this entry.

Until next time, play on.

Small Update

The promised post is coming soon, I'm just ensuring that the rules and rights of the game are going to be protected once published.

For the time being I got my new laptop delivered tonight, it's sick! I'm havin some fun with it already, and when I get it set up to my expectations I can't even imagine what it'll do for me.

Anyways, sit tight. I'll hopefully have the Bonedoneskis thread published soon.

Home Game Fun

"No! The trades HAVE to go first!" - I'll explain later, when I blog about Bonedoneskis

Over the weekend, I realized one thing. If there isn't chicks in my life (and sometimes even when there is), the only thing that makes me happy is playing cards. I've been in a mental slump for the past couple weeks. I've been pretty depressed for no obvious reason, and I haven't been able to snap it. I was hoping that havin a home game would help, and for the most part it did.

Joe and I invited over a few friends to play a 6-handed mixed game. One of those was Darsky, so right away I knew I would snap out of my depressive shell at least partially. I bought more chips for the occasion (we all need more chips, right? Just ask CT.com), and had them shipped to my work. So they arrived, and I left early, eager to face the night ahead.

It'd been a long week, so I was looking forward to this in more than one way. I hadn't really played cards since the week after I got back from Vegas in December, and it's killed me. I played in a dealer's game a few weeks back, and played wild and loose and dropped a little bit there. I was hoping it wasn't gonna be the same this time. We were only playing $2-4 Mixed, but it was more for the fun and the good game than the money this time around.

We invited Lucy and Nema, a couple that Joe and I met from Chumash, and who Joe also knows from UCSB. Nema took down the last big tourney at Chumash for $100k, so he knows how to play some cards.

Darsky showed up around 4PM, and Joe, he, and I sat down to start off the action. We played 3-handed until about 7PM, when the three other players showed up almost simultaneously. We all ate pizza, knocked back quite a few brews, and had a great game going. The six of us all know poker and are pretty serious players in understanding, yet we're all pretty relaxed and friendly in attitude, so it made for a fun, aggressive game.

I was playing pretty well for the most part, but irritated myself when I played an entire round of Omaha Hi like a complete knob. I consider myself a decent Omaha player, and probably one of the better ones of the people I play with (besides Manny). But for some reason I assed off about $50 in one rotation of $2-4. I was able to keep afloat with the Hold'Em and Razz rounds, but I knew I was playing under my level.

One guy had to leave early at around 10PM, and the three of us played mixed games for another hour or so. After the action started dulling, we decided to switch over to $1-2NL. The action picked up almost instantly, with all of us facing all-ins pretty much every other hand. Lucy busted when Joe caught her on a bluff. So Joe stacked pretty quick. I dropped a $130 all-in when my flopped top set got rivered by his double belly-buster a couple hands later, and I rebought.

On semi-tilt I started playing uber-aggro. I ended up jamming against Nema on a flush draw w/overs on the flop, and got called with top set. Turn blank. River flush. Oops, nice hand sir.

I was almost even, and calmed down. I started playin back a little bit and at about 1:30Am, this hand came up.

Joe had limped UTG, Nema popped it from the button to $6, and I flat called from the SB with AKo. Joe called and we saw a flop of 5-3-A, rainbow. I checked, Joe bet $10, and Nema flat called leaving himself about $40 behind. I didn't think Joe was strong, and I didn't know what to put Nema on, considering he's a tricky player.

Nema could have raised with an Ace and flat called, hoping to double up on the turn in this aggressive short-handed game. It's a play that's in his arsenal, but he definitely knows how to mix it up. If he had raised the button with a weaker Ace, I was gonna wait till the turn to get his money in. I would re-evaluate Joe on the next card. This wasn't completely in line with my style, but I decided to play this hand a different way this time.

One the turn was a Kd, putting two diamonds on board. Again I checked, and now Joe bet out $26. As soon as he bet out I put Joe on A5. He could've bet out any A, but the way he bet made me think he had Aces up. Nema flat called behind, leaving himself basically all-in, and at this point I put him on a flush draw with a possible 4.

I decided to raise to $60 straight, and Joe went into the tank. I was almost positive with my read. He mucked after a couple minutes of thinking, and Nema called off the rest saying "I need a diamond or a four." A blank peeled off and I scooped the pot. Joe told me he had A3.

I was back into the black for the game and finally felt good after donking off a whole round of Omaha Hi in the earlier stages of the evening. Unfortunately the hand also felted Nema, and Lucy and he took off shortly after.

It was a little after 1:30AM and the three of us didn't feel like going to bed, so we decided to bust into gambling games. We played Beat the Dummy, 4-Card Guts, and Kings and Littles for a little bit. Then, in an instant of brilliance, I created the game now known around the world as Bonedoneskis. I'll tell you all about that one tomorrow.

Darsky flat out dominated Joe and me, winning the first pot ever in the history of the game, and didn't slow down the rest of the night.

We ended up amending the rules to and playing Bonedoneskis until about 6:30AM before we all finally crashed. I went into a small bit of depression half-way through thanks to a brain-racking phone call, but I still had a lot of fun. The night was definitely a boost to my recently lacking enthusiasm for life.

On Saturday, we woke up around 1PM and quickly jumped into a game of Bonedoneskis yet again. This time I came up a little bit, and Dar came up yet again. After the extended session, Dar and I hit up the Brew Co. for a couple foods and beers. We headed over to Q's to see if we could get a table, but it was packed (of course.) O'Malley's had a line down the street, and so we headed back to Brew Co's extension, the Lounge.

We grabbed a beer and sat and talked for a little bit about life and business before we were finally able to snag a table. Darsky's a good pool player, so I knew I didn't stand a chance. He went an understandable 4-0 on me, and was able to throw me a couple pointers while nicely handing me my own ass on a beautiful silver platter.

We finished our last game as they were locking up, and headed back to my place. Dar and I tested out how well Bonedoneskis would play in tournament format, since the game had originated as only a $1-2 game, with many rules pertaining to the limit of $1-2. I went on an insane rush, letting Darsky only win three hands the whole time.

He took off shortly after in a fit of rage (hahahah), and that was that.

On Sunday I watched the Bears make short work of the Saints, and stared in awe as the Colts made in improbable comeback run against the Pats. I was positive from the start that the Pats were goin back to the Bowl this year, but Manning was able to quiet his critics with a wonderful run and a powerful display of clutch throwing.

Congrats Colts, the year is yours.

Stay tuned for tomorrow when I get my laptop and I blog about Bonedoneskis
Until next time.

Why Oh Why is the World Trying to Piss Me Off

Here’s something I really don't understand. I had to call an 800 number to activate my newest credit card. Fantastic, automated messaging systems are creative and save a bundle on human resources.

But if you're gonna make me sit through a 20 minute automated session with me punching in all of my personal information, don't put me on hold 20 minutes later and make me repeat it to a small asian woman that can't understand more than three words of English.

Here let me reenact this for you ("X"s have been used in place of names and numbers in order to protect the innocent and/or retarded):

Welcome to XXXX's automated credit card activation. If you'd like to continue this call in English, please press one.

< 1 >

Thank you.

Please enter the sixteen digit number located on the front of your credit card.

< XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX >

Thank you.

Please enter the last four digits of your social security number.

< XXXX >

Thank you.

If you'd like to take a moment to create a four digit personal verification number so that you may access cash using your credit card at various ATM locations nationwide, please press one. If you wish to skip this option and you would like to create one at a later time, please press two.

< 2 >

Thank you.

Please hold while we transfer you to a representative.

Huh?? I wait on hold for five minutes.

Thank you for holding. All representatives are busy, and we thank you for holding while one is being contacted. Your call is very important and we will return to you as soon as possible.

I wait on hold for another five minutes and get the same message before someone picks up. It's an asian chick that talks as formulaic as the automated voice answering system, so imagine her pronouncing every word one syllable at a time, and only saying one word per every three seconds when you read this.

"Hello. Thank you for calling our credit card activation center. Your call may be monitored and recorded for security purposes. May I have your sixteen digit credit card number please?"

"Um...okay. It's XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX..."

"Thank you. May I have the last four digits of your social security number please?"

"Haha, yeah...it's XXXX."

"Thank you. May I have your name as listed on the credit application please?"

"Yeah it's Christopher XXXXXXX."

"Thank you. Can you please spell how your name is printed on the credit card?"

“C-h-r-i-s-t-o-p-h-e-r X-X-X-X-X-X-X.”

“Thank you. Can you please tell me your address?”

At this point I start to get irritated, since I already punched in my card number and social when I was battling against the machine. But I tell her my address, and then get this.

“Thank you. If you’d like, you can create a four digit personal identification number so that you may access cash using your credit card at various ATM locations nationwide, you can do so now.”

“Um, no thank you.”

“Okay. Thank for you for calling to activate your card. Before the activation is finalized, would you like to add credit security to your account? In the event that you lose your job uncontrollably, are hospitalized, or in the event of your immediate death, we can offer you protection against your account having late penalties or…”

At this point I fell asleep. She was talking like a robot, but it was like a robot that couldn’t catch its breath. She was actually accentuating the pause between every word, which is something that I didn’t know the human vocal box could do.

After eight minutes of holding the phone to my ear and daydreaming about that teacher I had my sophomore year in high school (you know, that younger one that always smiled at you and "loved" having you in her class, the one that you wish would've handled you and showed you the wild ways of the sexually mature), I heard the words "for seventeen percent of your balance every month" and snapped out of it.

“No thanks I’m not interested.”

“But sir, in the even that you lose your job uncontrollably, are hospitalized, or in the even of your immediate death—“

“Noooo thaaaanks not interested. Thank you.”

“Thank you sir. If you'd like to create a four digit personal identification number so that you ca--"

Oh look at that I hung up. Oh well.

At that point I couldn't believe that I actually got some lines repeated to me three times using the exact same verbage, and almost exact same voice tone, from both the automated system and the human operator. It truly blew my mind and I was completely baffled.

It really put a damper on my whole day, and although I now have a bunch more of someone else's money that I accrue interest on (seems fun, doesn't it?), I'm not in the mood to spend it after having to deal with that.

And some people wonder why I get so irritated with the world sometimes...

Until next (hopefully happier) time.

No More Neteller for US?

Sweet mother of god. If you haven't heard already, ex-Neteller execs got nabbed by the goons, prodding the fire that has come from the UIGEA. I thought everything was going to be under control with Neteller still, but I ran across this thread at 2+2 today.

Now I'm usually all for the US government. I think it's a wonderful thing, and am hardly out of agreement with the systems and laws in place. This one, however, really put a hamper on my good, light-hearted views. Particularly because I'm a poker player and this is affecting me personally, but also because these assholes can run around cheating on their wives with hot young interns, or dressing up like priests and ravaging underdeveloped little boys, yet they think they have the right mind in pulling the plug on internet gambling?

I'm also pissed that the Congress's majority is Democrats now, but that's a subject for another conversation. I guess what pisses me off the most is that now that I've finally thought about playing online, it's becoming more and more difficult every day to do so.

I used to love Neteller for the couple short times that I had played, and Instacash was the shit. No hassles, no bullshit, just take my money and put it here. As of hours ago Neteller is no longer offering the Instacash option, which means it could take days to fund your poker account through them.

That is if you're lucky enough to get in before they close. It looks like they won't even be accepting transactions with US accounts within weeks. What the hell is going on here...

Yes there's other options, but it's just a pain in the ass. The reason that online poker was so awesome during the boom is that it was CONVENIENT. You could put money on and be playing within minutes. It looks like that might become a commodity of the past in the online gambling world in the US of Adultery.

I finally got my laptop ordered last night, and it is currently being built which is exciting me beyond belief. I've been wanting to get one for the longest time, but I haven't pulled the trigger until last night. So the fact that I went through and did it is making me quite a happy guy. But I can't help but pay attention to this small part of me that was planning on playing poker on it that is now pretty pissed off.

When the time comes to put some money online, of course I'll find a way to do it. But I will not be pleased with it! You can guarantee that.

/end rant


In other news, I hate flakes. We've been meaning to get a game going for quite some time now, and have a list of players who'd said they'd be "ready to play anytime, just give me a call!" Of course half of that list can't make it, and half of the rest of them say yes and mean no. It's aggravating.

99.8% of the time, if I tell you I'm going to do something or be somewhere for a certain thing, I mean it. Getting to work on time is different, so don't talk to me about that. But if you tell me you're gonna have a game, and I give you my number and tell you to call me that friday with directions, you can bet your ass I'm gonna show up like I said I would.

Whatever, there's still hope

/end rant 2


Plans are coming along for Vegas in a couple weeks. The rental car's in motion, and I'm already planning on what day Darsky and I are gonna hit up the Rainforest Cafe. Haha, yeah you know want it Darsky, don't lie to yourself.

Also, there's been a bunch of hype for 300, which is getting me just as excited as all those blurred out teens from the Girls Gone Wild commercials. I loved Sin City, and although I haven't read the 300 comic series yet, I can only think that this movie will do nothing but meet every expectation that it's created for itself.

Mitch has expressed interest in taking a night out to go to Vegas and see it there, and hit up some BJ tables on the way out of town, which may sound good to me. We'll see where that goes.

And today I got news that I might have to do some real work tomorrow, so I'm frantically sweating, and am thinking about running away so that that can't happen. I'll let you know how it goes.

Until next time.

Vegas Is In My Sights Again

Sweet.

Darsky and I are booked at the Flamingo for the 26th-28th. The last weekend of January marks the start of a year-long goal by the two of us to go to Vegas for a poker weekend at least once a month this year. So we have our room set up, we just need to find a way to get there now.

We are in driving distance, yet neither of us want to put our car through the torture of the journey. Having put over 2600 miles in my car in the past five weeks, I'm even more inclined to NOT drive mine out there. And Darren respects his car (as he should, the thing's a beauty) so we won't be taking his either. It looks like renting a vehicle is gonna be the standard MO on these trips.

I haven't really decided if I'm gonna stick to playing the $8-16 to $10-20 games yet, or if I'll play NL more heavily. I really liked the $8-16 at the Wynn last time, so I'm gonna have to give that game a shot again. But if I can dominate the $2-5NL, then I'll just have to do that instead until I get enough bank to move up.

As the situation stands right now, I'm in a weird place. Paying $150 a night for a decent room is a decent portion of the stakes I'm actually playing for. Obviously if I could take $400 to a table and turn it into $2,000 every time, then I wouldn't have a problem with paying for airfare, hotels, etc. But by only playing $8-16, and only for a limited time of three days a month, it puts an interesting spin on things.

If I could manhandle the limit games every minute of every session I play out there, then things might be different. But variance is a bitch, as they say, and I can't really count on quadrupling my money every time I sit at a low-mid-limit game. All in all, I need to play and plan on playing more than just the one weekend a month, so I might be alright. Unfortunately Chumash is dead and LA is a decent drive, which I don't particularly like making every weekend.

I've thought heavily about putting some money online (again), even though we all know that I absolutely despise playing online. But since Party closed down and Full Tilt has picked up a lot of action, and since I've had varied amounts of success at FT, I'm thinking of throwing a little cash on there and working it up. Well, we'll see how that one goes...

In related news, the original founders of Neteller have been arrested in the US, even though they are no longer affiliated with running the company. They are major shareholders, but still. As far as I knew, Neteller wasn't going anywhere because of the UIGEA, and I highly doubt they're going anywhere now.

It looks like just a major show of cock and balls by the government to let people know that internet gambling is breaking apart families, and destroying the lives of the retards who can't control themselves from depositing their baby's diaper money to see if they can chase down an invisible electronic jackpot on a computer-generated slot machine spinning reels of imaginary creatures and mermaids.

But if this scare tactic actually causes some commotion within the US Neteller operations, I guess I won't have to decide if I can conquer the online poker demon. I wouldn't even be thinking of playing online if there was any legit action going around here, but Chumash has been completely dead lately. The last rush I went on there was a blackjack rush, because I drove a half an hour out of my way to find four dead tables, and I needed some excitement to compensate for the $43 tank of gas.

We're most likely gonna have more action at our 6-handed homegame on Friday. We'll probably be playing mixed games, unless the three fishies want to play NL in which case we'll have to accommodate them.

And I realized today that I haven't posted Pt. III of my December Vegas trip yet, so I'll get that one pumped out. My CPU is still broken, and I'm still lazy, so it might have to wait a couple days. But it's coming, promise.

Until next time.

The Used, The Abused, and the Howling

I finally scouted the first show I'm gonna go to this year. It's gonna have to wait until February, but it's gonna be an amazing show. I'm lookin at the Taste of Chaos Tour which will be hitting LA next month on the 22nd. We got Senses Fail, 30 Seconds, and a couple others, and it's being headlined by theUsed.

Some people think that The Used are no good live, but the last time I saw these guys it really was a great show, and I'm really eager to get back to see them again. Ever since these guys came on the scene years ago I've been a really big fan, and this is one of the only bands that had a new style when they came out with their last CD that I actually liked the new style as much as the old. It's fixin to be a good time.


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm barely making it through the day today. I feel like death....or sleeping. Sleeping sounds good right now. I did a good job last week of not getting plastered on a daily basis. I was actually quite impressed with myself, but I ruined that all on Saturday. It was expected though.

I went downtown to hang out with a few buddies from work to watch the Philly game. I was getting a bunch of props from the SoCal Eagles fans as I walked in sporting my McNabb jersey, and I jokingly got denied by two different Giants bartenders. One of the guys we were meeting is a huge Saints fan, so we knew it would be a blast. And what a blast it was, right Reggie?



First play of the game, and you can guarantee that the entire population of State Street felt that one. The entire Brew Co. exploded as the Philly fans were cheering and the Saints fans were fucking shocked. That's the biggest hit Bush has had to take in his career playing football. Welcome to the NFL.

Of course Philly dropped the game by three points so I have nothing to say. It was actually a pretty good game, and like I said before, the Eagles were gonna have to play better than they did against New York to win this one. The defense definitely stepped it up, but except for a couple big plays, the offense just wasn't playing with enough intensity to get the job done. They completed on a fourth and ten when trailing by three with five minutes left, but a false start flag negated that and the game was practically over.

I actually saved a bunch of money on the game though, and no it wasn't by switching to Geico. My usual bet maker couldn't get my bet for the game, which ended up being good. They were giving Philly +5, so I would've won if I took the points, but I thought the Eagles were gonna step it up so I was gonna take them straight up. But I missed the bet and I ended up saving money. So I ended up spending $120 on food and drink for our crew. All in all it was a good game and a good time.

After that I went home and was feeling a little down, so what did I do? I did what any sensible, drunk, depressed sports fan would do. I did a little slumpbusting. If you don't know what slumpbusting is, don't ask. That's the end of the Saturday story.

On Sunday I was on to go down to the valley and hit up Howl at the Moon with my cousin and bunch of her sorority friends. On the way there, I stopped by Dell to have Casey build me a laptop. I'm excited to get this friggin thing, partially because my CPU is busted and I'm too lazy to fix it, and partially because I want a laptop for no other reason than the fact that I enjoy buying shit that I don't necessarily need. But what does "need" mean really?

I'll be getting a pretty decent Inspiron 1505 for a pretty decent price, so I'm stoked and I'll enjoy the hell out of this thing. The last gnarly thing I bought was pillows, and that just doesn't satisfy my spending urges. Ok I bought a car too, but whatever. I'm a guy who likes to shop, sue me!

So after I had a little talk with Case, I took off to Simi to meet up with Tasha and Mike. We headed out, and I didn't really know what to expect. I'd heard of this place, but had never been there. Howl at the Moon is a dueling piano bar, and it's pretty sweet. There's two piano players that run the main of the show, and for a little bit they fill out with a drummer and guitars. There's a rotating group of musicians that take turns playing everything and singing, and they're all fuckin amazing.

These guys were playing everything. You tip for requests, and no matter what it is, they can play it. They played everything from Elton John to Rage Against the Machine. If one of the guys didn't know it, he'd take a second to listen to the other guy, and then jump right in. They put on a really good show altogether, and they're all crowd oriented which makes for a great time when you're there with a group. Being there with a bunch of perky 20-somethings would have been fine at any bar, but it was definitely fun to be there.

And to top off the night, at about midnight I looked over, and who do I see walk in? Wayne from CFF. Swear to god. Made my night. And again, if you don't know what CFF is don't ask.

Anyways, time to go back to work. Until next time.

Nastiness

On a side note, I'd just like to say that Julia Roberts has never looked better than she did in Pretty Woman. I dunno why, but it probably has something to do with the male gender's fascination with slutty women. There's just somethin about it...


In other news, ever since I've gotten over being sick last week, I've had this weird taste/smell that's just constantly in my head. I don't necessarily taste it every second of the day, but whenever I walk into a room it seems like there's this weird stink that's hanging around inside the room, even though I smell it everywhere.

I don't know how to describe it, it's kind of a musty, old, dirty stank. It's almost as if it's a hellish smell mixed with something that tried to clean it, yet failed miserably and just got tangled with the stench. It's always in the back of my nose and it doesn't usually hit me until I walk into a room. Then I get smacked in the face and almost throw up every time.

And now when I'm eating certain foods, I get this stupid taste in my mouth. A couple foods that I used to enjoy taste different, and some beverages that I used to find oh so refreshing, now taste like balls. Not that I know what balls taste like, but I'd have to assume they taste somewhere around the nastiness that I'm experiencing.

It just seems like every time I take a swig of a Corona it tastes horrible, which is weird because I'm a total Corona kind of guy. But lately it's like it was made with dirty mud water or something, which obviously may be true because it's Mexican beer. But even when I go to pound a Mountain Dew like I used to do before three weeks ago, it seems almost tasteless. It feels like the entire inner workings of my tongue and throat has been changed, which is really dumb because I love to eat and smell things.

Don't judge me.

Of course it's entirely possible that I'm making this up and it's all in my head. And as for the smells, for the past couple days the entire town of Santa Barbara has smelled like an open container of fish guts baking in a Summer heat. Every time you step outside you smell a little bit of somethin close to death and seared flesh and fish.

My head's kind of been in a business mode lately, and this whole new world of smells and tastes is pushing me towards creating a new line of fragrances, which will creatively be called "Hellish Smells". Any investors?

Now now I know it may not sound like a great idea, but think of the world we live in nowadays! With the vast world of the internet and intertube surfers, there's a market for everything. If I can open up a shop online, I'm sure I'll be a millionaire before the year's end. And at that point I can even bottle up these ridiculous tastes and get a line of Hellish Smells beverages called...get this..."Aftertaste". Holy crap think of the possibilities! I'll be waiting by the phone for any interested monies.

In the meantime while I'm still working for someone else, the fucker in the next room over keeps listening to the same three songs over and over again, and they just so happen to be the gayest songs that man has ever created and recorded. I keep trying to keep the door closed, but for some reason he finds it wildly fascinating to open it back up every three seconds. Go to hell, I officially hate you.

Haha, oh man...good ole' office workings. I think I'm gonna tuck myself away for the rest of the day. I definitely am having a case of the Thursdays. I gotta get outta here.

Until next time.

Sacrifices Must Be Made

It came as a harsh realization when I figured out that I wouldn't be able to make it to Paul's home game this Saturday. It's the first of the year and he's trying a new format and schedule, which is an improvement over last year considering his "schedule" wasn't too much of one.

I'd already made plans with a few buddies in Santa Barbara to head downtown and drink up the Philly game, which will be made all the more exciting since one of the guys I work with is a huge New Orleans fan. I'm lookin to get a little...feel good...as you might say. And whether drunk or sober it's already a highly anticipated game around these parts.

Unfortunately I've been telling Paul that I'd be at his place for like the past month now, and he's gonna be quite disappointed when I give him the "Hey Paul, look..." phone call. Oh well, gotta do what you gotta do for Philly. I actually feel worse for someone else, cuz I was supposed to bring another guy who's been itchin' to find a regular home game to play in. I was gonna take him this weekend, but better luck next time...

Although it might work out because Paul does run two tournies, but I highly doubt I'll be ok to drive the hour out that way after the end of the game. But...perhaps if I do make it out there on Saturday night Darsky will want to head down to LA for a little all night fun at the Bike?

I've been craving to play so bad since my return from Vegas. Darsky and I made a pact to go to Vegas at least once a month every month this year. We're looking at January 26-28th this month, and the wheels are currently in motion to set up lodgings. The Flamingo is looking like where we're headed, but who knows. The IP might just fit the bill in terms of the hours-in-room:nightly-room-rate ratio. We'll see where it takes us.

John offered to let us sleep on his floor at his place in Henderson, but after the mondo discount he gave us at the Aladdin last month, I feel bad taking him up on that, especially since we barely saw him last time we were out there.

Also, we're fortunate in the fact that we're in driving distance, but damn is that a pain in the ass drive. Yes it's only a small portion of the cost of flying, but dammit it's an insanely dry, uneventful ride. Last time at least we had Mitch Hedburg to help us through it, but he'd only got so much material released before his tragic death.

Anyways, I'm gonna go play cards and get blitzed with a couple of the poker dealers from Chumash tonight, so it should make for some good times. I'll hopefully have some stuff to write about tomorrow thanks to it, so I'll see you all soon.

Until next time.

Eagles Win.....Eagles Fan Loses??

Fuckin' Philly. Sunday was supposed to be a good day. I was planning on heading to watch the Eagles take the Giants in the first round of the playoffs. 60" HDTV. Comfortable seating. Gravy fries. What else could I want? Oh yeah...an extra 4.5 points.

I took the Eagles -6.5 points. I was sure they could do it, and they could've! The first half was closer than it should've been, as Philly has a bad habit of winning, but not dominating. The defense let the first drive of the game slip, and after that they were champions. Then it was the Eagles' turn to show what they were made of. With an answer back touchdown and field goal in the second quarter, it was looking good.

Then the Giants took a field goal to tie it at 10-10. It was looking ok, but not necessarily good. They had more than they were showing, and that was disappointing. However, that's the Philly way. They went up 17-10 before the fourth and I was starting to look happier.

Then I was looking really happy. With the Giants at 1st&30, I had a glimpse of victory. Then on 2nd&30, Manning got a pass off. No worries, 3rd&12. Well Burress erased that set of downs, and NY was ready for the red zone.

Of course, if Philly were to hold them to a field goal and get the ball back, they had five minutes to get their own field goal and to hold the 7-point lead. And money in my pocket. But nope.

Philly plays loose coverage, let's the TD go, and puts themselves in position to win with a last second field goal. BUT THREE POINTS IS NO GOOD! Don't these bastards check the spread before they hit the field? What are they doin to their fans here??

I'm sorry for NY fans on either side, but dammit am I mad that the Eagles didn't do more when I know they're capable. In any case I'm glad they advanced. They face the Saints in New Orleans and that should be a good game.

The one thing with Philly that makes their games sketchy is the fact that they've proven to be winners, but there are many games when they skate by, even though they're worth so much more. There's no way Philly can take the Saints if they play like they did against the Giants.

I'm confident though. Even with a list of injuries, they have some great backups. Sheldon Brown went out in the fourth with a dislocated shoulder, and isn't expected to play against NO. Luckily, Roderick Hood is his back, and Hood has played as well as the rest of the starters when he's gotten a chance, so hopefully he won't get burned.

I see Philly taking this game by six points in my head, so hopefully the spread will keep in line with my thoughts on the game. When Philly wins this one, I'm hopin that I'll win as well this time...

As for the rest of the playoff picture, I'm seein Chicago over the Hawks, the Pats over the Chargers (sorry Darsky), and I'm actually gonna take the Colts to overcome Baltimore. In the end we're lookin at a Philly - New England Superbowl, a la Super Bowl XXXIX. Maybe Philly can tie up the record this year? Here's lookin for the best.

Until next time.

Saturday Morning

The Ugly Aftermath

And I still haven't figured out how to put captions on pictures....



Anyways, the brutal decisions of a Saturday morning never get old. You wake up once at 7AM and then you turn over and go back to sleep until 10. When you wake up you're kind of angry cuz it feels like someone just sat on your face, which may or may not have actually happened the night before. You walk out of your room trying not to trip over the crap strewn across the floor, only to find a couple lumps hidden under blankets and sleeping bags.

And then you see the bag of chips on the table. Yessss. Here, chow a couple of these. They're delicious.

You breathe in a big lungful of musty, beer-filled air. It smells like we must've had a good time, no? But enough messin around, the day is starting. People start waking up out their semi-unconscious, even though they woke up ten minutes ago just like you. Then bedroom doors start opening, and everyone converges to the living room. Small talk breaks out, spitting a couple quiet laughs about the events that took place but ten hours ago.

Then you realize it. You're fuckin starving.

Now there's obviously two choices in this situation. You could abandon any hope of getting anything done on this very fine Saturday by going to breakfast at a variety of breakfast bars where you can string a line of shots to cure your hangover. If you go this route you won't see your house until 2AM the next morning. After breakfast you obviously have to make the run down State St. to see how many bars you can hit before 5PM. Then when 5 comes around, it's the usual night time adventures. The only problem with this option is that this particular scenario is usually a Sunday thing.

Of course instead of that you could head down the street to Taco Bell. You can all get in the car and go get a few delicious Mexican food entrees, return to your place, chow down while you watch any number of movies, and eventually start cleaning up so that the pad is clean for another night that's about to happen. Then in the morning, you can partake in option #1.

A crunchwrap supreme really does sound pretty good right now. Looks like my decision is made this time.

Goals are Coming

As I said before, I'm not one who usually has resolutions around this time of year. Most often I just notice when I'm doing things that I should change or if I realize that I want to start doing something, I just do it. I change when I need to change and I add things to my life when I feel like it.

But over the past couple days I've had some things on my mind. A few things that have happened over the past couple weeks have kind of made me take a look at my life and I noticed that there are indeed things that I want/need to change, long-term things. And it's not a few specific things that have happened so I guess I shouldn't phrase it like that, but it's moreso the way my life's been going.

I've noticed that since I got back from Vegas I've been real uptight. I haven't been the enjoyable, affable, fun-loving person that I usually am. I haven't had a smile on my face and it's really been showing. Things haven't been going the way I want them to lately, and for whatever reason I've been a real asshole about life.

Normally I'm not that way; I just shrug my shoulders and move along, thankful that I have other things. Sure I shake my fist at the old lady in front of me at the stop sign who's too busy dying to go when it's her turn, and sure I yell at the illegal immigrants around me when they don't speak English and they think it's ok to pee on the sidewalk. But usually I do it for fun and I go right on ahead laughing and having a good time. But lately I've carried that outward animosity around and have been showing everybody what it's like to be on my bad side. It's time to go back to having fun.

Also since I've been back I don't think I've done a single iota of work. I've been daydreaming and dazing off every time I'm at my desk. As soon I walk in the door of my office I just instantly shut off until 5PM. I fell into this state of wanting to get away. It's not that I've necessarily been wanting to quit to play poker full time, but it's been more of a reach out to do something fun, anything!

But since we've been back from New Year's I've actually been doing diligent work. This year is going to be a good year for me. I'll be taking on double responsibility by the end of it, which only leads to and results in good things. I'm definitely ready for it.

And in doing better work, I'll have a more clear mind in my off time to play more cards! As stated in my last entry, this is definitely a top priority for me this year. I need to spend more time with Darsky talking, living, breathing poker, and that will definitely help me. I foresee many trips coming up this year.

And when I'm not playing cards, I really want to get back into snowboarding. I was snowboarding for about three years, and, for various reasons, stopped boarding three years ago. I went up to Big Bear this weekend and had a blast. Tearing down the mountain, carving around the amateurs laying on the floor (not to say I didn't fall at all), and just the overall feel of the crisp, cold air on my lungs really pumped me up. I'm hoping to get a whole new setup sometime in the next month, and I really want to get as much as I can out of this snowboarding season. It's something I miss, and something I should really do.

Another thing that I didn't do a SINGLE TIME last year was go to see a concert. I love music, it's a big part of my life, and I didn't go to a single show last year, which saddened me. I'll be taking multiple trips to LA and to San Diego hopefully this year, and hitting up a few shows in town too hopefully.

Along with all this comes traveling, not necessarily long distance, but traveling more than an hour away at least. With a couple different snow spots a few hours away, and Vegas being within driving distance, I definitely can have a lot of fun in the car with friends. I'm hoping to hit up Hawaii for a week in July or August, and I'm looking to get to New York sometime in September or October to see my parents.

Of course I already have a bundle of brochures and info from the casinos in the surrounding area of upper state New York. I'm gonna have an awesome time going up there, and spending the days hangin out and drinking, and spending the nights and mornings away in a casino playing cards sounds like a dream.

And no matter what I end up doing or not doing this year, I definitely need to spend more time with my friends. I've been couped up and working and spending too much time inside in the past year, and it hasn't been good. It wasn't fun or exciting, it was pretty much downright boring. And I hate boring crap, so that needs to go.

And lastly I really want to write more. I'm going to try to keep on top of this blog every day, and if not at least every other day. I think I fixed my computer at home....hopefully I did anyways....so I can spend some time writing there again. And I'm hoping to get a laptop before the summer, so I should be able to keep up from the road.

But now it's time to start planning my January Vegas trip, so I gotta go. But stay tuned, it's going to be a great year!

Welcome to the New Year

Waking up this morning gave me an odd feeling. It was a refreshing sort of feeling. It wasn't a refreshing feeling like when you finish cleaning your house after you let things build up for a month, nor was it a refreshing feeling like downing half a liter of Mountain Dew in three seconds. It wasn't even a refreshing feeling like when you take a leak into a stall in a cold, frosty bathroom and get the kickback heat warming your lower body. What it was was hard to explain, but it was definitely a refreshing in a mental sense.

As I stood in the shower, already ten minutes late for work, as is usual, it came to me. All my worries, all my troubles, seemed to disappear. I still felt sick physically, as I have for the past two and half weeks, but my brain seemed clear. This mental dilemma I have been suffering through for the past couple weeks flowed down the drain with the shampoo being rinsed out of my hair. As I lathered and cleansed myself my work problems felt washed away. And as I got out and dried myself off, it came to me.

It is a bit of a shame, however, cuz I have no idea what "it" is. I don't normally feel any different when New Year's rolls around. When the ball drops and the drinks are had and the kisses are shared, everything always feels the same as it did only moments before. I never have resolutions because I'm always a work in progress. I evaluate myself constantly and feel like it's a good trait to have.

Going into New Year's Eve I felt the same as I do every single year. What's your New Year's resolution? They would ask me that for sure. I tried to think of a premeditated answer I could automatically spit out before they even finished asking the question. Maybe I could tell them.....nah. Or maybe I could.....nah.

Hmph. Oh well, same ole same ole.

There was no use in trying to come up with a resolution that wasn't true. I'd just tell them the same old crap, "I don't really have one...."

What a dunce.

I waited for it. I sat and drank my vodka and beer as I warmed up for the New Year's bash, but the weirdest thing happened. The ball dropped, the wine and champagne were had, the kisses were shared, yet no one had asked me that stupid question. I didn't have an answer, so I didn't really mind it, but how weird it was not to have to hear it.

I was out of town until last night, and had felt the same as I usually do....until this morning. I felt pretty relaxed as I rolled into work. I immediately waltzed myself over to the coffee machine so I could soak in my brown liquid drug habit, and headed to my desk. I stared at the mountain of paperwork that was strewn upon my desktop, and then I realized what it was.

This year, for the first time in a long time, I have a resolution: play more poker! Last year my life was all over the place. My living situation wasn't set, my job was supposed to be better than it was, and my car was a clunking, smoking piece of shit. At the very end of the year I finally got everything settled.

I got a new apartment, a raise, and a new car. The problem with all that being that the money from my raise went to a new apartment and a new car, so I had no spare cash to play. Going to Vegas in December was a treat, and I had a little bit of cash to gamble with, and when I ran out I was lucky enough to have back in the poker games and was able to get my losses covered for the trip.

Now it's time to really play the game. This year I forsee quite a few Vegas trips and a lot of playing time. I know I have what it takes to play it well, and I have a small bankroll now that I feel that I can really turn into something. I haven't spent nearly enough time playing poker, drinking, and gambling as I should have. I haven't done enough blow or seen enough ass in my day, and it's time to turn that around.

I have a decent job with a great boss, and I love the area I live in. I somewhat enjoy security of a regular paycheck, but there are just too many times when I get in these zones and moods where I don't ever wanna step foot through in this office again. And it's not that I don't like my job either, I just often wonder if it's what I really want. And if it is, is it what I really want NOW, at this point in my life?

I don't really see myself quitting to play cards right now, I don't see it happening this year, and I don't particularly see it happening anytime soon. What I do know is that I need to start playing more for my own good. Even when I lose and I get pissed, somehow it relaxes me at the same time. It's the only thing that gives me the rushes I feel that I need in my life, and playing only leads to good things as far as I'm concerned.

I also need to start writing more. It's something that I enjoy doing and it's something that I could really get good at if I did more of it. Reading people like Dr. Pauly's blog inspires me to write and hopefully I can learn a thing or two about it by keeping up on reading his....

In other news after a year and half of living in Santa Barbara, I finally feel like I'm starting to LIVE in Santa Barbara. Part of that reason is my little chick friend. She really puts a smile on my face and no matter what's going on in my life I always feel good when she's around. If I can find a perfect balance between work, cards, and relationships, I might just be alright in this world.

Often enough I find myself not being content with the world. People piss me off, laws piss me off, and sometimes I really don't even feel like going outside. Other times I love everyone. Hopefully with enough balance in my life in general, I can find a way to relax and get back to a state of being happy constantly. I'm close, I just gotta get the wheels moving.

Until next time.