Goals are Coming

As I said before, I'm not one who usually has resolutions around this time of year. Most often I just notice when I'm doing things that I should change or if I realize that I want to start doing something, I just do it. I change when I need to change and I add things to my life when I feel like it.

But over the past couple days I've had some things on my mind. A few things that have happened over the past couple weeks have kind of made me take a look at my life and I noticed that there are indeed things that I want/need to change, long-term things. And it's not a few specific things that have happened so I guess I shouldn't phrase it like that, but it's moreso the way my life's been going.

I've noticed that since I got back from Vegas I've been real uptight. I haven't been the enjoyable, affable, fun-loving person that I usually am. I haven't had a smile on my face and it's really been showing. Things haven't been going the way I want them to lately, and for whatever reason I've been a real asshole about life.

Normally I'm not that way; I just shrug my shoulders and move along, thankful that I have other things. Sure I shake my fist at the old lady in front of me at the stop sign who's too busy dying to go when it's her turn, and sure I yell at the illegal immigrants around me when they don't speak English and they think it's ok to pee on the sidewalk. But usually I do it for fun and I go right on ahead laughing and having a good time. But lately I've carried that outward animosity around and have been showing everybody what it's like to be on my bad side. It's time to go back to having fun.

Also since I've been back I don't think I've done a single iota of work. I've been daydreaming and dazing off every time I'm at my desk. As soon I walk in the door of my office I just instantly shut off until 5PM. I fell into this state of wanting to get away. It's not that I've necessarily been wanting to quit to play poker full time, but it's been more of a reach out to do something fun, anything!

But since we've been back from New Year's I've actually been doing diligent work. This year is going to be a good year for me. I'll be taking on double responsibility by the end of it, which only leads to and results in good things. I'm definitely ready for it.

And in doing better work, I'll have a more clear mind in my off time to play more cards! As stated in my last entry, this is definitely a top priority for me this year. I need to spend more time with Darsky talking, living, breathing poker, and that will definitely help me. I foresee many trips coming up this year.

And when I'm not playing cards, I really want to get back into snowboarding. I was snowboarding for about three years, and, for various reasons, stopped boarding three years ago. I went up to Big Bear this weekend and had a blast. Tearing down the mountain, carving around the amateurs laying on the floor (not to say I didn't fall at all), and just the overall feel of the crisp, cold air on my lungs really pumped me up. I'm hoping to get a whole new setup sometime in the next month, and I really want to get as much as I can out of this snowboarding season. It's something I miss, and something I should really do.

Another thing that I didn't do a SINGLE TIME last year was go to see a concert. I love music, it's a big part of my life, and I didn't go to a single show last year, which saddened me. I'll be taking multiple trips to LA and to San Diego hopefully this year, and hitting up a few shows in town too hopefully.

Along with all this comes traveling, not necessarily long distance, but traveling more than an hour away at least. With a couple different snow spots a few hours away, and Vegas being within driving distance, I definitely can have a lot of fun in the car with friends. I'm hoping to hit up Hawaii for a week in July or August, and I'm looking to get to New York sometime in September or October to see my parents.

Of course I already have a bundle of brochures and info from the casinos in the surrounding area of upper state New York. I'm gonna have an awesome time going up there, and spending the days hangin out and drinking, and spending the nights and mornings away in a casino playing cards sounds like a dream.

And no matter what I end up doing or not doing this year, I definitely need to spend more time with my friends. I've been couped up and working and spending too much time inside in the past year, and it hasn't been good. It wasn't fun or exciting, it was pretty much downright boring. And I hate boring crap, so that needs to go.

And lastly I really want to write more. I'm going to try to keep on top of this blog every day, and if not at least every other day. I think I fixed my computer at home....hopefully I did anyways....so I can spend some time writing there again. And I'm hoping to get a laptop before the summer, so I should be able to keep up from the road.

But now it's time to start planning my January Vegas trip, so I gotta go. But stay tuned, it's going to be a great year!

Welcome to the New Year

Waking up this morning gave me an odd feeling. It was a refreshing sort of feeling. It wasn't a refreshing feeling like when you finish cleaning your house after you let things build up for a month, nor was it a refreshing feeling like downing half a liter of Mountain Dew in three seconds. It wasn't even a refreshing feeling like when you take a leak into a stall in a cold, frosty bathroom and get the kickback heat warming your lower body. What it was was hard to explain, but it was definitely a refreshing in a mental sense.

As I stood in the shower, already ten minutes late for work, as is usual, it came to me. All my worries, all my troubles, seemed to disappear. I still felt sick physically, as I have for the past two and half weeks, but my brain seemed clear. This mental dilemma I have been suffering through for the past couple weeks flowed down the drain with the shampoo being rinsed out of my hair. As I lathered and cleansed myself my work problems felt washed away. And as I got out and dried myself off, it came to me.

It is a bit of a shame, however, cuz I have no idea what "it" is. I don't normally feel any different when New Year's rolls around. When the ball drops and the drinks are had and the kisses are shared, everything always feels the same as it did only moments before. I never have resolutions because I'm always a work in progress. I evaluate myself constantly and feel like it's a good trait to have.

Going into New Year's Eve I felt the same as I do every single year. What's your New Year's resolution? They would ask me that for sure. I tried to think of a premeditated answer I could automatically spit out before they even finished asking the question. Maybe I could tell them.....nah. Or maybe I could.....nah.

Hmph. Oh well, same ole same ole.

There was no use in trying to come up with a resolution that wasn't true. I'd just tell them the same old crap, "I don't really have one...."

What a dunce.

I waited for it. I sat and drank my vodka and beer as I warmed up for the New Year's bash, but the weirdest thing happened. The ball dropped, the wine and champagne were had, the kisses were shared, yet no one had asked me that stupid question. I didn't have an answer, so I didn't really mind it, but how weird it was not to have to hear it.

I was out of town until last night, and had felt the same as I usually do....until this morning. I felt pretty relaxed as I rolled into work. I immediately waltzed myself over to the coffee machine so I could soak in my brown liquid drug habit, and headed to my desk. I stared at the mountain of paperwork that was strewn upon my desktop, and then I realized what it was.

This year, for the first time in a long time, I have a resolution: play more poker! Last year my life was all over the place. My living situation wasn't set, my job was supposed to be better than it was, and my car was a clunking, smoking piece of shit. At the very end of the year I finally got everything settled.

I got a new apartment, a raise, and a new car. The problem with all that being that the money from my raise went to a new apartment and a new car, so I had no spare cash to play. Going to Vegas in December was a treat, and I had a little bit of cash to gamble with, and when I ran out I was lucky enough to have back in the poker games and was able to get my losses covered for the trip.

Now it's time to really play the game. This year I forsee quite a few Vegas trips and a lot of playing time. I know I have what it takes to play it well, and I have a small bankroll now that I feel that I can really turn into something. I haven't spent nearly enough time playing poker, drinking, and gambling as I should have. I haven't done enough blow or seen enough ass in my day, and it's time to turn that around.

I have a decent job with a great boss, and I love the area I live in. I somewhat enjoy security of a regular paycheck, but there are just too many times when I get in these zones and moods where I don't ever wanna step foot through in this office again. And it's not that I don't like my job either, I just often wonder if it's what I really want. And if it is, is it what I really want NOW, at this point in my life?

I don't really see myself quitting to play cards right now, I don't see it happening this year, and I don't particularly see it happening anytime soon. What I do know is that I need to start playing more for my own good. Even when I lose and I get pissed, somehow it relaxes me at the same time. It's the only thing that gives me the rushes I feel that I need in my life, and playing only leads to good things as far as I'm concerned.

I also need to start writing more. It's something that I enjoy doing and it's something that I could really get good at if I did more of it. Reading people like Dr. Pauly's blog inspires me to write and hopefully I can learn a thing or two about it by keeping up on reading his....

In other news after a year and half of living in Santa Barbara, I finally feel like I'm starting to LIVE in Santa Barbara. Part of that reason is my little chick friend. She really puts a smile on my face and no matter what's going on in my life I always feel good when she's around. If I can find a perfect balance between work, cards, and relationships, I might just be alright in this world.

Often enough I find myself not being content with the world. People piss me off, laws piss me off, and sometimes I really don't even feel like going outside. Other times I love everyone. Hopefully with enough balance in my life in general, I can find a way to relax and get back to a state of being happy constantly. I'm close, I just gotta get the wheels moving.

Until next time.

"Oh Yeah, I Forgot...the Rodeo's in Town" Pt. 2

Saturday

I finally had a chance to sleep, as Darsky was sleeping when Mitch and I got back to the hotel room after our blackjack run. I passed out, while Dar got up and went to go play the $5/10NL at the Bellagio, raking in a pretty good score while I was sleeping. Around 11AM I woke up and took a shower and saw that Dar had awoken.

I called up Uncle Pauly, and then Darsky and I took Mitch's car to go pick him up. When he had told me he was staying at the Circus Circus the week before I thought he was just joking around. But.....nope. If there's ever been a more horrible casino, I'd like someone to point it out to me. As soon as we walked inside it felt like a place of death.

When we found Paul he was in a $40 tournament, being dealt to the world's most crooked rejects by a 80 year old dealer who couldn't quite move the pot around without sweating, and suffering from what appeared to be a series of minor heart attacks. We had to wait around and fear for our personal health until he busted out and we could leave.

"What the hell is wrong with you Paul?"

"The cheapest room I could find for this weekend."

"Oh yeah, I forgot...the rodeo's in town."

"Oh is it? That's why I keep seeing all these cowboys, huh?"

"Let's get out of here before I puke. It smells like feces."

Of course I had to dump $80 bucks at the $5 Let It Ride table before we took off. Come on....how can you pass up a $5 table....

We sprinted back to the car and took off towards the MGM Grand. Don't ask me why, but for some reason I have a rabid affection for the Rainforest Cafe. I had it at the MGM with my dad the first time I ever went to Vegas when I was younger, and that might be why, but for whatever the cause may be I HAVE to go there every time I go to Vegas now. I've been to the one in downtown Disney, but it wasn't the same.

Unfortunately for them, Dar and Pauly don't like the Rainforest Cafe as much as I do. Oh well! It was my birthday.....errr month..... and we were going whether they wanted to or not! I ordered the usual Chicken Fried Chicken and a huge glass of iced tea. Ah god it was so good! If I were Homer Simpson (if only life were that good), the Rainforest Cafe would be my donuts.

After eating we headed across the floor to the poker "room". For anyone who hasn't been to the MGM, the poker room is a sectioned-off area in the middle of the casino floor. It's not in the middle of the slot machines or anything, it's actually conveniently away from the gaming tables and is surrounded by cafes and stores, so it's very secluded from the gaming floor noises that drive some players crazy. It's large enough to hold around 25(?) tables, and has the cage in the middle.

On this day I was really pleased to see the poker tables buzzing with action. Last time I had been there, they had just finished redoing the poker room and there was maybe three tables going total. When we were there after lunch, though, there were only about five tables not running games.

I was the first of the three of us to get in a game, opting to take the $4/8 while waiting on a decent interest list for a $6/12. There were plenty of $1/2NL games going, some $2/5NL, and a $5/10NL going. I wasn't in the mood to play NL, but going to Vegas I really wanted to get into a decent limit game, since the only thing that ever goes at Chumash is a $3/6, with an occasional $4/8. I wasn't too happy with only being able to play $4/8, but a seat was open and it was time to start trying to beat whatever game I was in as I was planning on playing poker for the rest of the trip.

I took the open seat while Dar sat at the $5/10NL and Paul eventually got a seat at the $1/2NL. After a few rounds the $6/12 finally started up and I started taking control of the table. I was talking it up, playing, and raking pots. I got into a verbal squash with a loudmouth, trash-talking kid who apparently lived in Vegas and was too cool for school. The guy was a total ass-clown and I made him feel like a little kid when I backtalked him off of the table within a half an hour of sitting down. The whole table was cracking up cuz for every word he had I had two more to throw back at him. He dropped about $50 and racked up and left, leaving the rest of us on the floor laughing at his rediculousness. The game only lasted for a little bit, but I was able to pick up $300 before the table broke.

We were able to fill the table back up by making it a $4/8, and I sat dead for a while while Dar was raking it up at the $5/10NL. I picked up another $50 and racked up. Dar and I took off, leaving Pauly and one of his buddies who had met him there to fend for themselves. We went back to the hotel room for a sec to see how much Mitch had learned to love the hotel room, and then it was off to see if anything was happening at the Palms. Of course the Palms was filled with tons and tons of hot women, but not even a glimpse of good poker. The Wynn was next on the list.

By this time Dar was starving so we needed to find food, and fast! As soon as we arrived at the Wynn we headed over to the Red8, a chinese food restaurant. It was friggin delicious, and I was starting to see a theme of good food in this wonderful city. I had the chicken chow mein, and I would have it every day for every meal if I could! If there's one thing I love more than poker in this world, it's food. I love eating, and I love enjoying a meal. I'm not a big guy (6'0" 190lbs), but I can sure put away some food, and I could see that the food was quickly becoming one of my favorite things about Vegas.

After the delicious self-gratification experienced at the Red8, we made our way over to the bustling poker room. I gotta say, I love the Wynn's poker room. They play ten-handed, which is normally a cramp. But the Wynn's poker tables are about foot wider than a normal 4.5' table (at least on the bottom level, Dar said the upper level tables were average). If there's one thing I hate when I'm playing cards, it's playing cards when there's no room for my legs to fit under the poker table thanks to the slobs and fat men sitting to either side of me. But thanks to wide tables and supremely comfortable chairs, the Wynn was completely awesome to play at.

I bought in to the $8/16 for $300 in brown chips and took a seat 6-handed. A couple hands after I sat in this Asian guy came into the 7s. Immediately he looked like someone who was gonna piss me off. I love it when I'm right. He bought in for one rack and within the first hour of play had turned it into just over three. He was not folding preflop, and seemed to be catching everything on everyone. I was glad it wasn't just me, but it was still very annoying.

The game finally filled up, and I was sitting on only $100. I rebought another rack to fill me back up, and quickly went on a small rush. I finally started winning pots against the jackass in the 7s, and was able to win a couple pots against the rest of the table as well. Just as I had pushed over the five-ball I was in for, Darsky had come up and said that his game was no good. I didn't wanna leave, as the game had just started to liven up, but I can't leave my best wingman hanging like that. Plus, there was money to be had wherever we went, it was Vegas baby.

Having been in a soft game earlier, Dar suggested we go back to the MGM. We went back but this time the action was less than optimal. So instead of staying to play cards, we decided to do the one thing we were equally good at: drink! We went back to the hotel to rescue Mitch from his hotel room jail cell and the three of us went downstairs to search out comfortable spots at the quarter machines at the bar.

I took an early lead in the drinks, taking on multiple rounds of Jack and Cokes. We were all involved in a heated session of Battle Keno, and Darsky was so involved that he fell to dead last in the drunk race. Being the best alcholer out of the three of us, I had expected him to come out strong. But he neglected his drinks at the beginning, and at the end of the night was the only one with any money left in the machine. He was also the only one getting free drinks after about an hour.

Bastard.

After a few hours of watching Darsky splitting two 10s against a 9 for a quarter at a time playing video blackjack, we retired to the room. When we got there I had this brilliant idea to order ice cream sundaes? It was probably around 1AM, and supposedly ice cream sundaes triple in price at that of the night, cuz it was like $40 for three of them.


That was the end of Saturday. I'm still sick, and I'm pretty tired at this particular morning, so I'm not gonna finish the whole trip right now. I'll write up Sunday and post a Part 3.

Watch Out for the Tissues on the Floor

No no......not those ones.

And don't trip over the empty box on the floor over there. That's my Tylenol Cold with "Instant Cool Burst Sensation". There's nothing instant about this crappy medication. I still feel like hell. And they only put 24 caplets in a package, can you believe that? I guess you're not supposed to eat them like M&Ms, but candy coatings are delicious so whatever.

All day my nose has been messed up. One minute it's blocked beyond all hope, and the next minute it's like a switch is clicked inside my head that opens my nasal passages to let a flood of snot and sickness come flowing out of my head. Back and forth and back and forth. I'm blowing through tissues in phases, and it is supremely annoying. Make up your mind dammit. Either be runny or be stuffy. Stop fuckin around, Nose.


I've half thought of pulling back and giving myself a swift punch to my face, in hopes to break my own nose and stop this apparent decisional dilemma it's encountering. Don't think I won't do it. But then I'd have to weigh the cost of getting my nose fixed to the cost of all these tissues that I'm using. Hmph.

Of course I could just skip the tissues and the broken nose altogether, and use my mitts. I could build up a dry, glistening trail of mucus across the back of my hands. The only problem there being that I'd have to look at it while I'm on the computer all day.

Bring back the tissues.

All day at work my nose has been suffering from this metronomic rythm of snot flow. It's damn annoying and, in my eyes, completely unneccessary. If my pussy immune system would just do its job and keep things like this out of my body then I would be fine. But nooooo. Although I guess all is fair in life. I got blessed with extremely good looks and an insanely awesome personality, yet my body can't defend itself against a cold virus. Sounds like a fair trade if you ask me.

I'm gonna go admire myself in the mirror for a little bit and then lay down and throw on the tube. Hopefully these 24 candy medicines will kick in soon and help me out. I'm taking a bucket and a drill with me to bed anyways, just to be prepared for the back and forth that's gonna occur in my nasal area all night.

And I have just about half of the rest of my Vegas trip already written up, so I should be able to complete it and post it tomorrow night. Have patience folks. Adios.

It's Cold!!

Anyone who's a blogger must already know about the Brandi Hawbaker story over at 2+2. No? Well if you haven't, imagine LonelyGirl15 taken off the webcam and thrown headfirst into the depths of the poker world. This one's got every character you need to make a good, old-fashioned suspense/mystery. A Captain with a pokey penis, a schizophrenic played by Dutch Boyd (what is it about this guy that I think is so badass, maybe it's the bandanna?), and a smokin hot petite brunette with a rack that'll send you to the stars. When I look at and listen to Brandi's story, I can't help but be reminded of Michelle Monaghan in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, only in the fact that she's a troubled, young, superbly hot female. I'm excited to see how this one ends.

And of course all this went down the weekend AFTER I was in Vegas. And unbeknown to me, the Bloggers' Convention was in town that very same weekend. Eh...whatever. But had this whole thing been uncovered two weeks earlier, I would've loved to have seen and heard the commotions and the going ons at the Bellagio when I was down there. Talk about good stuff...and especially if Brandi's gonna keep prancing around with her boobs hanging out. There's a good excuse to bust out my new camera. Bust out.......hmph.

I don't know what's wrong with my brain. I have some incomprehensible fascination with crazy chicks who just happen to be utterly attractive as well. Nobody wants to deal with crazy chicks. They're more trouble than you think they are at first, they'll take the life out of you, and in the end you end up just as crazy as they are for having to put up with their consistent insanity.

But I'll be damned if the craziest ones aren't the hottest. You can't tell me that if Harmony Faith Lane came up to you in person and wanted to take you to a hotel room, that you wouldn't take her hand and follow her to wherever it was that she wanted to go so that she could handle you. Well, you probably wouldn't, but I would. Maybe some people have that self-control, but I sure as shit don't. I would try to resist, I really would. But how could I manage to turn down that crazy broad if Robert Downey Jr. couldn't? EXACTLY, I don't think I could. Perhaps RDJ and I should form a club. But then again I'd have to get hopped up on a bunch of drugs first, or else our club wouldn't be real solidly founded would it?

Ok so scratch that.

I've noticed so far in life that this particular fascination is one that's bound to get me into trouble. It's that exact personality flaw that's gotten me into the situation I'm in now. The hot, petite dirty-blonde who I know is the worst news imaginable. She's the one who will crush my soul, yank my beating heart right out of my chest, and steal the wallet from my lifeless bloody corpse. Those eyes though! How do you not just fall in love with her the second you see her eyes?! She'll feed me lies, she'll feed me lines, and I'll unwillingly listen to every one. Damn me, damn me.......but I'm falling for her. Uh oh, wait a minute. I almost made myself throw up from that last line. I'll knock it off.

Anyways Winter's finally here now. As I'm writing this it's about 20 degrees in the office and I'm pretty sure that my feet are going to have to be amputated. I keep trying to turn on the floor heater that's right under my desk, but every time I hit the On button the power gets knocked out in this icy hell that is 406 Haley St. *Sigh*......fuck it's cold. Haha I don't know why I'm complaining though, I'd rather it be 20 degrees than 90 degrees. Sweaters go a lot further than fans do ya know!

Also, as is usual for this time of year, it's Tuesday and I haven't even started Christmas shopping yet. Worse yet there's no mega-malls in Santa Barbara, which means I gotta go downtown and hit up State St. Honestly, that doesn't sound too appetizing to me. I'll just hit up the mall in the valley when I go back to the family on Sunday night. Stores are open on Christmas Eve, I'll be fine.

If there's one thing I mastered in school, it was how to procrastinate like a champion. Although that was primarily in my English courses, but English...Christmas shopping...practically the same. Plus from what I hear, the longer you sit at work neglecting your job the better ideas you come up with for presents. And at this rate everyone's gonna love me come Christmas day.

Thankfully I'm getting my writing rhythm back. I stopped writing for a little bit of time, but I got some things in my life that inspire and require me to write now, so hopefully I'll be on this writing thing for a while.

Until next time.

PS - Vegas, P2 is coming, be patient with me

New Camera!! Yessss!!

I got my Casio EX-Z850 today in the mail. Thankfully I was able to get it shipped UPS, as I have two other packages waiting to come to me via USPS that will probably never make it here until after February sometime, nevermind the fact that they shipped out weeks ago. Shit I hate Santa Barbara's postal service.......

Oh yeah, and I'll have Pt. 2 of my Vegas trip up tomorrow, probably night time. There's poker in this one, you'll all enjoy it I swear :)

"Oh Yeah, I Forgot...the Rodeo's in Town" Pt. 1

Another gem from the quote machine......

After work on Thursday I packed up my bag and headed out to Ventura to meet up with Mitch, where we'd take off to LA to pick up Darsky on our way out to Vegas. For the past month or so Mitch had been complaining about not having enough money for this Vegas trip, his credit cards are maxed, blah blah blah. I walked into his room on Thursday night, and the first thing I see is a brand new PS3. Good job Mitch. He said he had opened up a Best Buy card the night before and got the PS with a bunch of BluRay DVDs. It's a friggin sweet lookin console....I'll give it to him....but self control man, SELF CONTROL!! My fault for bringing a broke, impulsive-buyer to Vegas?? Perhaps.......

After about half an hour of me playing Resistance: Fall of Man on his Samsung 56" 1080p DLP, I'd had enough and was ready for Sin City. He packed and we left. We stopped in the valley for a little bit first to stop by my dad's and we were at Dar's place at around 10PM. We started the trip with an extended conversation about TVs and resolutions. I like to think that I like electronics and that I know a little bit about the subject, but damn these guys are like tech gurus. I could sure use some advice from these guys along the road of purchasing electronics...

We stopped in FREEZING Baker for gas, and arrived in the city at about 5AM. First order of business: food! We went to a restaurant in the Bellagio for our first meal, which consisted of iced tea and $20 eggs benedict. We stared at the jumping water fountains in the plants for a couple minutes, then we decided to go on a trek to find a $5 blackjack table. We went to the Barbary Coast and found a table with one guy who was playing pretty by-the-book, which is great news cuz around here at Chumash the only people playing blackjack are retards who don't know what a blackjack is.

We all started off decently, but time took its toll on us in different ways. Darsky got reamed pretty hard pretty quickly, while Mitch started slow and was able to make a couple-hundred dollar score. Mitch had a total of $300 dollars for the whole four-day trip, which was hilarious in its own right, but he deserved the win and could have used the money more than Darsky or me. I broke dead even after like 2 hours, so....go me. That's a win in my book when it comes to blackjack.

By the time we were done it was only 9AM, and we didn't have check-in until 11AM. Unfortunately I was ass-tired, as I had to wake up at 7AM Thursday morning, and Mitch was pretty tired, too. Dar was good to go, and I knew I would end up in a card room with him before I even saw a pillow (priorities man!). Mitch was pretty dead so we decided to head to the hotel to get an early check-in. Then, as we stepped out of the door of the Barbary Coast, I noticed an oddity in the streets. Pretty much 80% of the people walking around were wearing flannels, spurred boots, and cowboy hats. Anyone who knows Vegas knows that it was definitely Rodeo time. I had totally forgotten about it since hearing about it weeks ago, but I wouldn't be allowed to forget for the rest of the trip, as I saw more hats and lassos this weekend than I'd ever seen in my life.

We got to the Aladdin to face a long line of check-in...ers? Thankfully the desk staff was competent and I didn't have to wait long. We got the obvious front desk upgrade, which was free when she noticed us getting the employee discount in the first place. Whether or not it would've been free is questionable, but we got for free in any case so that was just fine. It was a quarter to 10AM by this point, and John said that he might have been dealing the 10AM tourney at the Aladdin room, so Mitch went upstairs and Darsky and I headed straight to the poker room.

When we showed up there was only one 1/2NL game going with a noticably loud drunk foreign guy. There was three tables signed up for the tournament. It was a $60 buy-in, started with T1500 at twenty-minute levels. I was pretty dead, played a few small pots, and eventually pushed in with JJ for 1100 at 100-200 and got action from A10. An Ace on the flop and that was that. Nothing disappointing, actually almost expected. I was still feelin pretty tired, but noticed a small 3/6 waiting to get started. I bought a rack and took a seat, and we started playing shorthanded.

John had missed dealing the 10AM, but had come in to help set up for and deal the 1PM. He stopped by my seat and we had a quick chat. He made a few trips over to my table to watch me donk around in the 3/6, and I got a chance to thank him for the room.

After about half an hour I was down about $40 and Dar came over after he busted out. We started with our usual banter with each other when we sit at the same table. We made quick "friends" with Lisa, a middle-aged detective who was a pretty decent player. She maybe thought she was better than she was, either that or she was playing against Darsky and me, who eat 3/6 games for breakfast (it was about 11AM....that's about right).

Then the game died.

So we decided to play double-flop hold'em heads up. Lisa had sat out to wait for the game to fill, but dropped another rack to the two of us when we goaded her back into play. Then she left again, and we continued heads up. A short time later we had interest in starting back up the 3/6 and were glad to have the seats filled. I was still dead tired, but fell into my low limit limit hold'em drone. I started with Coronas and ended up at the end of our 5-hour session with coffee. We eventually had a full game going, with players and chips and everything. It was quite a welcome change to the earlier morning. Lisa was still in it, and still rebuying. I took multiple pots off of her with bluffs, and she ran into my nuts a few times (can I say that??) when she had the guts to call me down. GG Lisa.

Then there was this damn old guy in the 5s who kept pissin me off by catching his mediocre draws and backing into winning hands. It was nothing unusual, but pushing me on a 30-hour no sleep session was putting a frown on my face. At around 3PM we decided to go grab food, since we hadn't eaten since 5AM and I needed energy. As we were racking up, the dealer called over the floor person and had him comp us at the buffet for keeping the game together, and being pretty much the only players talking to and tipping the dealers since we had been there.

Around that time John was getting off his tiny shift, as he had really only come in to deal the 1PM, so he joined us and (obviously) got in on the comp. We headed down to the buffet, which was delicious. I saw seafood and was hesitant, but John insisted that it was good, and indeed it was! I had the seafood, the Italian, and a small bit of Chinese, and it was all very delicious. One thing that has me peeved about Vegas is the rising prices of foods and amneties. In the past, one of the bigger draws for Vegas was the $5.95 buffets, and if you want that now you gotta head to places that people don't wanna necessarily head to. Although the food is quite better in comparison, the prices are catching up with the quality. But we got a $75 trip for free, so I can't really complain.

The food was good, talking with John was better. I hadn't seen him since before he left Ventura for Vegas. He's a great guy and a fun person to hang around. I didn't get to see him after this for the whole trip, which sucked, but next time I go out there it's on the list of important things to do. He didn't even get a chance to meet up with Mitch since he was passed out at this point. Next time, we gotta.

By 4 I had had enough and we took that horrible, bastardly trip back and forth from the casino to the parking garage to grab our bags. I'm telling you right now that the devil was in charge of the layout of the Aladdin/Planet Hollywood - Desert Passage combo. In order to get back and forth from the parking garage and the casino/hotel you need to take a two-day trek through random retail stores and restaurants, cleverly disguised in a pseudo-desert surrounding. I'll give 'em that the Desert Passage mall is a work of art, it's an awesome place and it's a fun outlet. I'll also say that it's completely unneccessary to walk through the whole damn thing to get something out of the car. K we got a good deal on the room so /end rant

We headed up to the room and it was sleep time! I ended up getting three tantalizing hours of close-eye, and by then Mitch was ready for a night of gambling with his newly won "wad". I got up at around 7PM and took a shower. Then we hit the strip. We were gonna walk as we were in great position on the strip, and we decided on the Monte Carlo. We spent a few hours there playing blackjack and drinking Jack N Cokes. We each dropped a few hundred there over a couple hours, with the usual ups and downs of that damn game. I decided to toss a bill at the 3-card poker table for shits and giggles and picked up 2 hands the whole time. That went as planned.

From there we took a walk over to the New York New York cuz I enjoy the scenery. That probably sounds pretty gay, but I WAS an art major and I enjoy art of the physical kind, so I really enjoy themes, props, scenery, etc. Anyways, while playing there I was able to grab the Snag of the Trip for this trip around (I'm also a poker chip fanatic, for those who don't know). The dealer had a whole rack of them, and I was able to grab a pretty much mint snapper from the NY NY. And I know I know, but I have a new Casio EX-Z850 coming on Monday, so take it easy on me.

Anyways the drinks were still flowing as Mitch blew pretty much all of his money. On the first night out, that was expected. Let's just say that for next two days Mitch grew to know the ins and outs of our hotel room. He probably even learned the Bellagio's waterballet schedule thanks to our Bellagio fountain view.

After I lost a little bit there, we headed back to the Aladdin, being that Mitch now had no more money to play. I got crushed to the tune of another $200 on the way up to the hotel room as I saw an open BJ table and thought I could take her. Wrong answer!! Still love that game, though...I knew that since Mitch was done it would be straight poker for the next two days, and damn was I ready.

Next time I'll talk about the Red8, the big names, and the big bluff gone horribly good.

Until next time.

Quotes Are Great

"What will you do if you win the million dollar first prize?"

"Well, I guess I'll probably pay off some bills and some debts."

"So what will you do with the rest?"

"Well, I guess I'll just tell them that they have to wait."

-Interviewer questioning Thor Hansen before a final table

Hahahahaha!


And I'll be updating with my Vegas trip report tonight. Keep cool my babies...

Departure Is Upon Me

I didn't think I was ever gonna get off work today, but damn it feels good to be home! Or should I call it a docking station. Or should I call it a launch pad. Whatever the hell it is....it's gonna be behind me in about two hours. It's Vegas time!

The countdown began at the beginning of the week and it felt like there was no end in sight, but alas it's here! We'll be heading out from Ventura at around 8:30 tonight. We're probably gonna roam around until we can check into our room in the afternoon, and then the fun begins. Five days of pure excitement and non-stop action.

This is what dreams are made of.

Birthday Weekend

If another day had passed by without a game of poker in it, I might not still be here. I might have perished off the side of the Earth. I might have spontaneously combusted and there might have been no noticeable remains of my body left. I might have fallen into a black hole in the ground, only to get eaten by the planet and never be seen again. But thankfully Darsky had a hankerin' for that good ole' Chumash so I'm still alive and breathing.

Suffering through a horribly boring Friday night, I sent an SOS to Dar to come up and play some Chumash poker. He responded with a "tomorrow night" and that was that. He arrived, we ate, we played. We took off to Chumash at about 5PM and showed up to only ONE 2/5NL game. The 1/2NL had four tables going, of course, so we were at the mercy of the poker gods to open up some new 2/5NL games. Fortunately for the both of us two new tables opened up within twenty minutes and we both took seats at different tables.

I felt good going into it (of course, as I wouldn't go if I didn't). I got off to a quick decent start by catching a small straight for a small pot, but after that I just couldn't get off the ground. I was getting outflopped, caught on, and getting unlucky. My first big pair was QQ, which I raised to $20. I got called in two places behind me, one seat being a tight-ish player I'd seen before, and it folded back around. The board came up A-K-x, and I checked to the two callers and a betting war ensued between the both of them, each chopping up with AJ. Two hands later I picked up KK and raised it up to $20 again after one limper. Both blinds called as did the limper, giving me position. The flop came up 7-7-10. The small blind bet $25, the big blind called, and the limper raised it up to $70. I thought for a second before letting it go in light of the action, and there was a chop again with each of them holding A7.

So needless to say there was major action, and I just needed to catch a hand and I would get action on it all the way down. Unfortunately that didn't happen. I ended up widdling down to around $100 when I looked down at AKd on the button. There was a raise to $20, a call from a kid sittin on around $800, and I pushed with my $100 in position. The original raiser folded, and the kid called if off with the 56h. The board came up 4h-6x-7h, making me about a 10-1 dog. I turned the A, but was still facing major outs. Another 6 hit the river and I rebought. Over the next three hours I just couldn't get anything going. I picked up JJ and QQ, but couldn't play after the flop on either of them. Widdling down again I got caught with a bad kicker on my Ace and decided to take a walk.

I hit the casino floor for a couple minutes to take a breather, and headed back to the poker room ready to go one more buy. I waited to get a seat at Darsky's table, since we always have a blast playing the same table and our styles of play allow us to stay out of each other's way. He was up, and we started to have a good time. I was down to about $150 from my $200 buy, and finally caught a hand. I checked off my 99 in the big blind after four limpers, and had a beautiful looking A-9-3 flop. We got three way betting action, and a 3 on the turn filled me up. I ended up doubling and half up on that hand and finally had gained some ground. Unfortunately, the fun wouldn't continue long.

I ended up working my way to around $500 when I picked up AA. I raised it up to $20 and had two callers, one who was sittin on around $120, and the other who was sittin on $200. The board came up 10-high and the 1s pushed in. The middle seat called off, and I reraised to put him all in. He ended up calling with 99. The turn was a 9 and that was another hand lost to bad luck. I ended up getting QQ and KK one more time, letting the Qs go to an Ace-high board facing action, and I won a small pot when I flopped a third King. Darsky had been stale since building his stack to around $900 earlier in the night, and we decided to leave. I was sittin on around $350 by this point, and raised it up to $15 with the 45s and got two callers. The board came up Qs-xs-xs, and I bet out $45. I got called twice. The turn was, of course, the 2s, and the small blind pushed all-in for $1,000. I racked up my remaining $200+ and took off, disappointed in the night's occurances.

My buddy Mitch was up at Chumash as well, and ended up coming back with Darsky and me. We called up Joe on the way back and the four of us went to go grab some food before returning back to my place where we all crashed at about 5AM. Then in the morning, it was my birthday! Darsky took off and Mitch and I went downtown to go to this Mexican place for brunch. We met up with my little lady friend and her friend, and had all-you-can-drink margaritas and mermosas until 2 o'clock.

After that we we to a couple more bars downtown, and drank the day away. We headed down to the Lounge to play some pool, that which I was doing horribly. I'm usually ok, but when I'm drinking I don't think I can make a single shot. Oh well...it was still fun and then we parted and Mitch and I headed to Ventura. I dealt a small $5 tourney at Mitch's house, and then I tagged along with the group as we headed down to the bowling alley. We got a few pitchers of beer and bowled for a few hours. All around it was a good time, and Mitch and I bet on most of our games. We all left the bowling alley at around midnight, and we ordered some pizza before I took off back to Santa Barbara at 2AM.

All around the weekend was great and I had a lot of good company. Next weekend will probably be even better, as Darsky, Mitch, and myself are all headed out to Vegas! We'll be there from the 8th-11th thanks to John, who got us a cheap, cheap room at the Aladdin.

Until next time.

Where Have I Been? Where Have YOU Been?!

Yes yes, I'm still alive. It's hard to believe, but it's true! As a matter of fact, I might be more alive than I've ever been, but then again who knows......Every day I think that new things mean things that they don't. Is it life or is it mundane bullcrap? Is it love or is it a lie? Are things ever going to improve, or does life just ride along like a train on a track, taking you down the same path day after day, night after night...

It's been a difficult time since I stopped playing and started working, or I should say started putting 100% of myself into work. I've gone through many socalled "epiphanies", and perhaps that's a big reason why I stopped writing. I hate writing about things that I'm going to do or going to stop doing that I end not following through with. I said I was gonna stop playing, I didn't. I said I was gonna save up a bunch of money for a roll so I could start playing seriously. I didn't. I kept saying I was gonna write and blog multiple times a week, and we all know how that's been going.For the past year and a half I've been telling everyone, and telling myself, that a new car was coming. It hasn't been.

Well I finally leveled out. I stopped playing cards about three months ago. I've played sparingly when being backed, but haven't put my own money up for some time now. I think I still have the skill to make money, I just finally realized that I'm not in the situation to put my own money up. It affected the way I played, and more importantly it affected the way I acted outside the card room.

Through a raise and promotion at work after months of hard work, I was able to finally afford myself this

Being on the verge of my December Vegas trip, it hurt from a gambler's POV to put money into this car at this point in time. Two weeks away, and $2,000 dropped from my Vegas funds in half an hour. But from the personal side, damn does it feel good. For too long I've been driving around a broken, beatup, old piece of crap car. It hurt to drive, it hurt to listen to, and it was really damaging to my self-esteem knowing that it was my only option to drive. I can say with full honesty that driving arounda nice new car really can affect a man. For the past week I've been walking (driving) around with the biggest smile I've had in years.

Of course the car isn't the only reason for the smiles. Life can't be lived without love. Love? Eh who knows what love is. I don't know, and that's the damn truth. I thought I did once, but the more and more I get to know, the more and more I realize that I don't know much at all. And whether or not it's love that I'm trying to know now, I know that it's fun in any case. Got it? Yeah that's enough on that subject for right now....

Moving along, thanks to my buddy John, I got a room at the Aladdin from Dec 8-11 for very, very cheap. Mitch and Darsky will be joining me for that one, and it'll be a fun one. I'll be playing poker for sure, but I'll also be hitting up multiple gaming tables, and I'll also be enjoying every second of Vegas's lights and extravagances, which I never seem to get enough of.

So now that life seems to be back on track, I'm startin to feel better and better about things. Hopefully for this blog, that means I'll be writing more again, at least a couple times a week. I would say to wish me luck, but for once, things seem to being going in the right direction already...

Whattup Tasty Readers

Just a quick update, and I know I've been treating this blog like a bastard. Hopefully I'll be in the mood to write later.

News from the homefront! I can't even explain how much I've been working lately, partially because I don't think I've ever actually been in a situation where I've had to. I've been putting in a lot of hours in the office for the past three weeks, workin lots of 12 hours+ days, and damn I've been tired. But thankfully our new system is up and my job should require fewer hours from me, which is good and bad. Good because I'll have time to do stuff. Bad because for the next two weeks I'll still be getting paid for overtime.

And this weekend was.....productive? I acquired a new couch and coffee table, which is sweet cuz my previous living room was pissing me off. And to go along with that I also got Tiger Woods 07, and Joe and I put about 12 hours into it this weekend alone.....we're sick I know. I had realized a couple weeks ago that I missed the entire summer's worth of golfing, and was really feeling down about that. Soooo.......enter Tiger Woods! I love this game, and if you've played it and don't like it then there's definitely something wrong with you.

Next on the list is to get my XBOX 360 and my 60" 1080p DLP Samsung.




K that will probably have to wait, but I'm patient.

And I have my Vegas trip coming up in December, and am probably going to stay at either the Mirage or Bally's, or (hopefully) I'll be getting hooked up at the Aladdin, which is fine by me. More to come later.

300

Another movie inspired by Frank Miller's graphic novel, I'll be sad if this one disappoints......But it won't

Hot Streak....Cold Streak....No Streak??

Day after day I've been doing this thing that people call...living life, or something like that. Honestly, "living life" is a personal definition. Going to work every day from 9-5, working some overtime, going home, paying bills, watching tv........elch whatever. That's not exactly what I'd call "living", but to each man his own. Having had this gambler's mentality for the past two years has really given me some different views on life and money.

Before the past couple months, for the past couple of years I've been skating by. Working part-time while attending CSUN wasn't paying much, but I didn't have much to pay for so I didn't really mind. Was it boring? Eh maybe, but I was working with a bunch of other college kids who just worked cuz they needed a job while they were in school, and I fit that description and was able to have a pretty decent time there. I had had my driver's license suspended in a crazy summer after graduating high school, I had just broken up with my girlfriend after three years when I got to college, and my living situation sucked, so things were looking pretty bleak. But I got a job, and found some friends in a city that I had just moved to, and made a smaller group of poker playing friends as well. Once that happened it was an hour drive in two directions to get to either of two indian casinos that had allowed players of 18+ to play.

So when I wasn't at school, or wasn't at home not doing my homework, I was either at the Mash or I was at Morongo playing cards. If I wasn't at any of those places I was at a home game, and things were good. I was learning the game, I was getting better, and moreso I was forming myself. Whether that was good or bad, it was happening, and I wasn't gonna stop it. It was exciting and winning or losing more than a paycheck in one night was fun for me. The lows made me feel like shit, yet the highs made me feel like God.

A little further down the timeline when Joe and I had met, and I moved out to Santa Barbara, I was basically a full-blown casino junkie, being only half an hour away from the Mash. I had learned blackjack and had gone through some pretty sweet streaks in that. Of course one night of a hot streak was quickly countered by two losing nights, but no matter what happened it was still exciting and never got boring. I started focusing more back on playing poker, and soon enough I had left the blackjack train for a game I felt could easily make me money on a consistant basis.

I had started as a limit player. Obviously entering the game at 2/4, but moving up through the 3/6, the 4/8, and eventually to the 6/12, being that Chumash didn't offer an intermediate 5/10 game. Although I wasn't as consistant of a winner as I would've like to have been at the 6/12, I was still ahead. At this point I'd seen Joe go through minimal losses and maximum profits in the 2/5NL game, the only NL game that was offered at the time. We were both taking the game seriously at this point and were playing live at least four days a week. After a few lengthy discussions, I decided to switch from playing the 4/8 and 6/12 to solely playing the 2/5NL.

Things started out well, and I noticed that I could definitely make more money off of the horrible players in the NL game than I could pounding away at the "idiots" (I've since learned not to consider anyone an idiot at the game; they either help pay the bills or have enough skill/luck to get my money, neither of which I would consider an idiot) at the 6/12. For the most part things were on the up and up, and although I suffered the occasional loss I was up. I spent a lot of money on crap I didn't need, spent a lot of money on food, and had a habit of paying for EVERYONE no matter who was with me or where we were. I still was winning, the game was still exciting, and I still didn't care about money.

Then a horrible thing happened. I started losing. I was still winning sometimes, but when I went to go unneccassarily blow a bunch of money on Sundays, I noticed that I had started ending up with less money than I had started the week with. But I still kept coming home with loads of DVDs and still treated all my friends to food and occasionally crap that they wanted that they couldn't themselves afford. But at this point Joe and I had gotten the reputation for being the badasses that played cards and actually won, and could afford to blow all this money while everyone else was humping crappy part-time jobs while finishing school. It was fun to be in the spotlight and even more fun to know that the way that I had gotten the money in the first place was not through hard work in any way.

I started to worry about my game, about my skill, and about my mentality. I had been taking some huge beats, and at the same time I wasn't playing my A-game. Then for whatever reason I went on a pretty decent one-month hot streak. One month, and no more. After that month I started steadily losing again, and this time it was no fluke. Within months I had lost everything that I had won and more. All the cash in the hidden places and in my pockets was gone. All the numbers in my bank account were zeros, and my body felt about as empty as my accounts. The months continued to show me red results, and even though I had now had steady paychecks coming in, they certainly weren't being saved in any way. I kept trying to pry my way back into the winner's circle, and for some reason it wasn't working.

Month after month my paychecks came, my bills got paid, and my extra money got spent.....err lost. So, I decided to stop playing. It hurt, it still hurts, and until I get back on my feet and can afford the swings, it's going to hurt in the future to come. No more dealer's games, no more late night trips to Carrow's after turning up a grand profit in just hours, and no more disregard for money. I have never been so uptight with money in my life, ever! And it kills me, cuz my personality is one that doesn't allow me to care about money as much as I do, yet my brain knows I need to so it overrides my instincts.

So now I wake up every morning, get dressed, go to lunch, bullshit around the office, do some work, and come home and be bored. Joe is playing still, supporting his life, and Darsky is still rollin through the professional player process. And I'm watching, that's it, just observing. Thankfully I have people who understand what I'm capable of, and I've been supported a few times throughout my drought by Darsky and Joe, usually resulting in profits for both parties. And now with my latest crush I'm getting support as well. I love women almost as much as cards, and that's one of the only things that's kept me going. When I find one that tells me that I can make it in the gambling world, like the one I have now, and when I have friends like the ones I have, it gives me hope. When they tell me that they believe in me, it relieves me from my everyday hypnosis of going through the motions just to watch another year past. I have a feeling that sometime in the future my hopes will turn into realities, and that I can prove all my supporters right.

Darsky Enterprises

And perhaps a logo?

Poker Trip

I took a trip down to Chumash last week. Joe put me in, and believe it or not there was no action at the 2/5NL game on a friday night...pathetic. For the longest time the only games they spread were 2/4, 3/6, 4/8, the occasional 6/12, and the 2/5NL $200 max. Just recently they started spreading a 1/2NL $50 max buy-in. The game has very little play and is chalk full of horrible players. Of course with horrible players comes a minefield of rediculous calls and terrible beats. And of course, we showed up at around 6PM on a saturday and there was four $50NL games going and ONE friggin $200NL. Joe was staking me on this night, and seeing as how there was a list of only about six players on the $200NL list, it looked to be a while before either of us took a seat. So I figured I'd ante up and play the $50NL game.

After folding the first few rounds I figured I'd take a stab at the pot from the button. There were two limpers and I bumped it to $8 with the Ks8h. I got one caller out of the SB and the others folded. The board came up a pretty decent As Qs 9s. The caller checked and I bet out $15. He tried to check behind me.....and then after he was told that he couldn't check he called the bet. Haha fantastic. The turn was a K. Now I figured to have the best hand as well as, obviously, the best draw. Except now he bet into me. $10 was the bet in front of me. With $60 in the pot and with me on only $20 I had an easy jam and got a quick call. I turned over my hand and he tabled Jd9c. River: Jh. REBUY

I wasn't too upset since I was expecting that in this game goin in, so I quickly bought for another $50. It took less than 20 minutes for me to get into another confrontation with this guy. In middle position I raised it up to $8 after one limper with the 56s. He called without hesitation behind me and it folded around. The board came up with what I thought, again, was a pretty good flop for me. With 3s 4s Jd, I bet $12 into the caller. He raised another $12. And again, with a $50 buy-in, I was forced into another situation where I felt the money needed to go in. There was only one hand that I was fearful of, and that was the AJs. IF he did have that hand then I was only a 2.5-1 dog on the hand but I was getting laid 3.7-1 on my last $18 after his raise. Given his previous hand holdings I highly doubted he had anything that huge, and if he didn't have the AJs then I'm looking to be a 55-45 favorite over any other pair, still ahead against a 4 3, and a slight dog to a set but still facing major odds. Fortunately for ME I overthought the situation and he ended up calling me with Q3 offsuit, putting me as a 70-30 favorite. Fortunately for HIM I blank blanked and had to rebuy again.

That one kind of frustrated me. I took a deep breath and shelled out the next $50. Again, it took me less than 20 minutes to hook up with another guy who wanted to put all of his money in on the flop. Luckily for ME I had flopped a set with my 77 on a board of 5-7-8. Luckily for HIM he had decided to put his whole stack in on a Q6 and managed to turn the 9 as I managed to blank the chance to boat the river. AAAGGHH. It's cool I got more to play. I rebought for another $50 and was able to at least get back another $100 before they finally started a 2/5NL $200 max three hours after we arrived.

I was up and down in the 2/5NL game. I bought in for the max $200 and never broke the $450 mark. I kept getting up to $450 and then getting knocked back down to $200. Then I'd get back up to $400, then back down to $200. I felt like I was playing ok but not great. It's been about a month since I've played a session at the Mash, but I definitely felt better than I did last time when I lost my mind. This time I felt like I was making good plays and good reads to get a little ground, but then I would lose it back in tough situations. There was two situations where I probably could've saved money. In the first situation I got stuck on a tough read. I had two choices and picked the wrong read. In the second situation I got overly aggressive against the wrong player and had I been less aggressive I could've saved a bit of money. Overall I ended up down on the session, but I know what I need to fix and what to get a hold of next time I get a back.

We got Paul's game tomorrow and I'm hopin to take down some cash in that cuz I'm feelin like I can right now. Although I've barely played in the past month I'm feelin like I can cruise right now and take down the ole' weekend tourney against weak players. Updates to come on Sunday/Monday.

Update?

Soon!! I've been really busy at work (yes, yes it's sad to hear, tell me about it), but I'll put up an update soon. Check back in.....half an hour?

Breath of Fresh Air

Every now and then, no matter if nothing is going bad, life is difficult to be happy with. Even though nothing is wrong, things might just be stressful, if perhaps not blatantly stressful but maybe on a subconscious level, and for no reason at all you just feel uncomfortable and it seems like nothing can make you happy. Have you ever wondered why this happens? I'll tell you why. It's because every now and then, no matter if nothing is going bad, you just need a breath of fresh air.

Lucky for me I found mine.

HALO, The New Apartment, and Sports

Ok so apparently I suck at HALO. I've never really played the game with the exception of a few times spread apart over months and years at a time. Well now since there's three XBOXers living in the new apartment (as opposed to just myself previous to the move) I'm gonna have lots of times to get my ass kicked. My two roomies were HALOers before when they lived on campus at UCSB and they did the whole XBOX live thing and all that. Now although they haven't played in a while, they still know the game. I definitely don't, and I've been proving that all week. But I'm improving! And that's saying something, right??........

Aside from that, the new apartment rocks. The living room is a decent size, my bedroom's a decent size, and it's cool being able to live with these guys, as the three of us have kind of been the best of friends over the last couple years, and living together is pretty fun. The area's quieter than my other place, which is a definite plus because I was living in brand new apartments JAMMED into the slums of Santa Barbara, so my place was awesome but the surrounding noise of the hudlums sucked. Our new place is tucked way back, so it's a nice change for me. And there's also tennis courts right down the street. Hey look, another thing I suck at.

I've never played tennis before, but I think it's something I should get into and it's probably something I can get really good at. I think that I have a pretty natural sense of sports, although some who know me as a poker player and nothing else would beg to differ. I enjoy playing sports, but I've been a casino rat for so long that I'm kind of coming into my athletic self. So although I've never played tennis before I went out and bought a brand new Prince TT Ultralite. Being that I've never played before, I could've bought a $20 racquet, but I'll be damned if I have to learn how to play a game with less than moderate equipment (as you can see my problems in money management). Although I'm having some problems controlling the ball, I'm feelin pretty good on the court and think I can pick up the game pretty quickly.

If there were some decent basketball courts close by that would rock, and I definitely need to get back on the golf course sooooooon. I haven't been to the range in forever, and it hurts inside. I've never really found time to get good at golf, but perhaps it's coming in the near future. I should get a new set of clubs first though...

On to something that I'm decent at: volleyball. Down here in SB there's a lot of beach, and with a lot of beach there's a lot of beach volleyball courts. My parents play beach volleyball and have been playing for a few years regularly, and they've been preaching the joys of the game to me and trying to get me to play for a long time now, but they haven't succeeded. Recently though, my parents decided to move across the country to New York, and what a time for me to branch out into sports again. It sucks because I would've definitely loved to have played with them since they're pretty good players and they play hard, and good competition is what makes playing sports and games fun to me. But nevertheless I've been improving over the weeks and feel like playing against better players so I can get my skill level higher. Lovin the game.

And in more sports news football is back!! Yes ladies and gentlemen, it's that time of year once again that Sundays are no longer open in my schedule. The NFL is wonderful and time spent without it is time in the dark as far as I'm concerned. The Eagles have a pretty new team as far as the team's makeup goes, and while losing a great LB in Mark Simeanou, I'm definitely glad they were able to get Donte' Stallworth for the trade, as the Eagles are in dire need of a superstar receiver if they're gonna get back to the Superbowl any time soon. Last season was a huge disappointment after so many years of dominating the NFC East, yes that's right, DOMINATING :) But however new and young the team is, they sure showed their capabilities in the first game of the season. Sheppard got injured on the first play of the game, but Roderick Hood should be quite an acceptable sub for Sheppard's serious injury, the guy's got some game in him. And although the first game was against the Texans, I can think of quite a few teams in the past two years that fall far below Houston. Nonetheless it's gonna take a little more to beat the Giants than it did the Texans, and the Eagles are game. Here we come NFC, watch out now.

Here's lookin to more sports played and more sports watched.

Hey There Children

I haven't been writing recently because, frankly, I hate writing about losing. And as much as I try not to be a biased writer, writing about losing sucks if that's ALL you do, as is the situation I've come to feel like I am in. And also I hate the way my posts have been coming in. I don't like posting an uplifting "I knew I could it!" post one day just to have it followed by a "Dammit I suck at life and should not ever play poker ever cuz I suck" post. It's probably not fun for you all to read, and it really seems immature to me. And while things haven't been going well for me recently, rather than re-explain all the depressing bad beats and bad plays, I'll just say a few words about life.

Recently I had an epiphany of sorts. After getting crushed in the $350,000 guaranteed at Chumash, and getting handled at the cash games afterwards, I kind of took a step back to evaluate and wonder: 1)what I am doing wrong, and 2)what the hell is wrong with ME. After thinking for a long while, the reasons listed below are what I came up with.

I've never been the best money manager, I'll admit to that. Is that a good thing for a gambler? Of course not lolp. Most of the time I spend too much money on useless crap that I never use, I eat out a lot, and I usually spend money on things that I don't NEED even though there are clearly things that I DO need. I am a big idiot in this field, that much is apparent. I also pay for people a lot even though I'm not (and have never been) in a situation to do so. Luckily for me, I have people in my life that understand that I have great passions that get in the way of practicality, and I also have enough sense not to get to a point past saving.

I haven't been the healthiest person in the world lately, lately being the past year. I definitely am not fat, but I could use some excercise and diet changes for the pure healthiness of it. Now as any serious poker player knows, these two things are key to being a successful player. Whether or not these two things (or lack of them) are directly related to my inconsistant success, I don't know, but I'd have to guess they do.

Another thing is that because of my lack of financial responsibility I'm broke, just flat out. Santa Barbara is a crazily expensive place to live. As a matter of fact Forbes Magazine ranked Santa Barbara, CA as the 7th most expensive city to live in in 2005 with a starting median housing price of $2,050,000. We made another top 10 for 2006 as well. Prices aside, I've been living out here for barely over a year now since leaving CSUN with nothing, and I have nothing to show for it. I have no cash, a beat down car, and still haven't gotten back to school since I relocated. Being in this depressed (and depressive) state for the past year hasn't helped my game at all.

Overall my poker game has definitely improved. I've been making some good folds, some great calls, and some even better plays. I don't make the right move every time, but nobody does. But regardless I really don't feel like I'm at the level where I should be, and I honestly think it's because of the situations I've stated above.

Guess what Loyal 5. It's all about to change. I'm moving into a new apartment tomorrow and plan on eating in a LOT more than I do now, because currently I'm NOT eating in. I started playing beach volleyball, if that's what you want to call it...I suck, but in any case it's excercise and sunlight. And, because my recent losses have left me short on cash, I've adopted a new view on cash flow and money management. Things are also going well at work. Some things are going to change in the future around the office that are really going to be in my favor. What does this all mean?

Well for starters, I won't be playing cards. Sure if Darsky or Joe wants to put me in a game, I'd be happy to take the stake and split the treasure, as that has seemed to work out quite well in the past. I'll also be playing the monthly at Paul's as well as the crazy quarter games that pop up every once in a while. But basically I won't be putting any money into the game for a little bit. Once things settle down a bit after I move in, I have to take care of certain expenses that have been hanging over my head for some months now. After that I'll save up a bit so as not to get in sticky situations again, and by that time I should be in a perfect mental state to take down some sick cash playin cards. I know I have the ability to do it (it's true, I've been told so), but without discipline skill means nothing in the world. It's really sad that I've let things slide for so long, but I'm really feelin like I'm turnin things around. And it's not that I've slid SO far, but I know that I'm better than where I have let myself get to.

Anyways I won't be abandoning this blog at all, and in fact I might reach out more to other viewers without as much poker talk coming through. But in time I will return and really put myself in the game like I have in the past, just this time I'll really be able to take a hold on it. I know things like this happen, and the greatest of pros have been broke multiple times early in their careers, so I'm not scared.

Until next time.