Where Have I Been? Where Have YOU Been?!

Yes yes, I'm still alive. It's hard to believe, but it's true! As a matter of fact, I might be more alive than I've ever been, but then again who knows......Every day I think that new things mean things that they don't. Is it life or is it mundane bullcrap? Is it love or is it a lie? Are things ever going to improve, or does life just ride along like a train on a track, taking you down the same path day after day, night after night...

It's been a difficult time since I stopped playing and started working, or I should say started putting 100% of myself into work. I've gone through many socalled "epiphanies", and perhaps that's a big reason why I stopped writing. I hate writing about things that I'm going to do or going to stop doing that I end not following through with. I said I was gonna stop playing, I didn't. I said I was gonna save up a bunch of money for a roll so I could start playing seriously. I didn't. I kept saying I was gonna write and blog multiple times a week, and we all know how that's been going.For the past year and a half I've been telling everyone, and telling myself, that a new car was coming. It hasn't been.

Well I finally leveled out. I stopped playing cards about three months ago. I've played sparingly when being backed, but haven't put my own money up for some time now. I think I still have the skill to make money, I just finally realized that I'm not in the situation to put my own money up. It affected the way I played, and more importantly it affected the way I acted outside the card room.

Through a raise and promotion at work after months of hard work, I was able to finally afford myself this

Being on the verge of my December Vegas trip, it hurt from a gambler's POV to put money into this car at this point in time. Two weeks away, and $2,000 dropped from my Vegas funds in half an hour. But from the personal side, damn does it feel good. For too long I've been driving around a broken, beatup, old piece of crap car. It hurt to drive, it hurt to listen to, and it was really damaging to my self-esteem knowing that it was my only option to drive. I can say with full honesty that driving arounda nice new car really can affect a man. For the past week I've been walking (driving) around with the biggest smile I've had in years.

Of course the car isn't the only reason for the smiles. Life can't be lived without love. Love? Eh who knows what love is. I don't know, and that's the damn truth. I thought I did once, but the more and more I get to know, the more and more I realize that I don't know much at all. And whether or not it's love that I'm trying to know now, I know that it's fun in any case. Got it? Yeah that's enough on that subject for right now....

Moving along, thanks to my buddy John, I got a room at the Aladdin from Dec 8-11 for very, very cheap. Mitch and Darsky will be joining me for that one, and it'll be a fun one. I'll be playing poker for sure, but I'll also be hitting up multiple gaming tables, and I'll also be enjoying every second of Vegas's lights and extravagances, which I never seem to get enough of.

So now that life seems to be back on track, I'm startin to feel better and better about things. Hopefully for this blog, that means I'll be writing more again, at least a couple times a week. I would say to wish me luck, but for once, things seem to being going in the right direction already...