Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Watch Out for the Tissues on the Floor

No no......not those ones.

And don't trip over the empty box on the floor over there. That's my Tylenol Cold with "Instant Cool Burst Sensation". There's nothing instant about this crappy medication. I still feel like hell. And they only put 24 caplets in a package, can you believe that? I guess you're not supposed to eat them like M&Ms, but candy coatings are delicious so whatever.

All day my nose has been messed up. One minute it's blocked beyond all hope, and the next minute it's like a switch is clicked inside my head that opens my nasal passages to let a flood of snot and sickness come flowing out of my head. Back and forth and back and forth. I'm blowing through tissues in phases, and it is supremely annoying. Make up your mind dammit. Either be runny or be stuffy. Stop fuckin around, Nose.

I've half thought of pulling back and giving myself a swift punch to my face, in hopes to break my own nose and stop this apparent decisional dilemma it's encountering. Don't think I won't do it. But then I'd have to weigh the cost of getting my nose fixed to the cost of all these tissues that I'm using. Hmph.

Of course I could just skip the tissues and the broken nose altogether, and use my mitts. I could build up a dry, glistening trail of mucus across the back of my hands. The only problem there being that I'd have to look at it while I'm on the computer all day.

Bring back the tissues.

All day at work my nose has been suffering from this metronomic rythm of snot flow. It's damn annoying and, in my eyes, completely unneccessary. If my pussy immune system would just do its job and keep things like this out of my body then I would be fine. But nooooo. Although I guess all is fair in life. I got blessed with extremely good looks and an insanely awesome personality, yet my body can't defend itself against a cold virus. Sounds like a fair trade if you ask me.

I'm gonna go admire myself in the mirror for a little bit and then lay down and throw on the tube. Hopefully these 24 candy medicines will kick in soon and help me out. I'm taking a bucket and a drill with me to bed anyways, just to be prepared for the back and forth that's gonna occur in my nasal area all night.

And I have just about half of the rest of my Vegas trip already written up, so I should be able to complete it and post it tomorrow night. Have patience folks. Adios.

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