The Fire-Pissing Bike Thief

Tonight as I was walking down the main sidewalk that runs along the beach in Santa Barbara with a couple friends, we witnessed the most pathetic act a human being can perform: thievery. I happened to have my digital camera with me, so here's an action shot of the villian.




We also passed by a sign later that night that fit really well into the situation that we witnessed. People who steal other people's things are truly a form of scum, and are ultimately morons in the end. There's a different kind of crime feel for stealing from a store or a big corporation, or stealing something large that's worth something. But stealing someone's radio or someone's bike is absolutely retarded. Get a life you idiots.

Is it really that hard to go get a job and stop being a poor fuck?? I have no respect or tolerance for people who refuse to help themselves from stuff that's as pathetic of petty thievery. And if you're going to steal something, put some effort and planning into it. Don't be a dumbass and act like an amateur.

The kid that we saw tonight looked to be around 18, and looked to be dismantling and stealing a bike that was evidently not his. Walking down the highly-lit sidewalk, we could hear the metallic clash that would end up being the handlebars clanging against the frame of the soon-to-be-stolen ride.

As we quickly approached, the idiot hastily jumped up from a crouched position and turned to face the beach with his hands in his pockets. He let a hugely obvious sigh and stood there on the edge of the sidewalk staring out towards the beach.

As if he didn't do enough to NOT conceal his mission the first time, we had to walk past him again minutes later on the way back to the car. He was still there, and again as we neared the bike we could hear the noise of him frantically trying to dismantle a lock of some sort. I had my camera ready on this time by, and took a blurry moving picture. I made sure to put my camera on a high-flash setting, and snapped a shot as we walked by, this time actually catching him with the handlebars in his hands, which were comically still connected to the frame and back tire via a chain lock. The flash shocked him for sure, but he still didn't leave the bike alone.

It's these kind of idiots that make me want to just end the lives of all of those that are absolutely meaningless and pathetic in this world. Hopefully this person will die young and I will feel better about the state of the poor part of our economy.

Anyways. Don't be a dirtbag.

Until next time.

DVD Drought

I've been missing a few things lately, and all the advertising of new seasons of my favorite shows have clearly pointed out what it is: DVD's.

I love buying TV show DVD's, and I'm long overdue for a trip down to Circuit City. Here's what's on my list:
The Office (USA Version) - Season 2
House - Seasons 1 & 2
Scrubs - All Seasons
Entourage - Seasons 2 & 3
Dealiest Catch - Season 2

If there's one reason that I haven't bought any of this stuff yet, it's because for the past couple of months I've been broke. I feel a shopping trip coming up soon, though, so perhaps a few or all of these will be mine in the near future.

Hello There, My Minions

I know I'm such a bastard, I've heard it before. I'll hear it again no doubt. I haven't been writing much for the past week, because honestly nothing has come up to write about. I've been working a lot this past week, as we've discovered a problem in the database that will take weeks (hopefully) to fix. Exciting stuff, right?

Usually when I'm not doing things, I'll have some random thought or something from the past to write about, but not lately. My mind's been swamped by hordes of database problems, and when I get home the only thing I've been doing is sitting on my laptop or watching TV. It's been great fun, actually, not doing anything that is.

This weekend was also the first time I've stayed in Santa Barbara in a while. I've been going to Ventura or Simi or somewhere for quite a while, so having a weekend to stay at home, not answering phone calls (text messages I'll respond to, obv) was a relief. I actually didn't go to bed till around 7AM on Friday night, which caused me to sleep until 3:30PM Saturday.

When I did eventually wake up on Saturday, I received a hilarious text message from Darsky, who's currently in Vegas. It was a message of disgust and disbelief, a drunken tale of sorrow and human misuse. Basically he hooked up with a fat chick, and I was partially to blame, both for not being there to keep him in the card room and/or keeping him away from fat chicks while he's drunk.

Being as how I sat around for the remainder of the day and night on Saturday, I felt like going out for at least a little bit on Sunday. Mitch drove out to SB and we hit up a little local microbrewery for lunch, enjoying multiple rounds of brew as we gawked/talked to the millions of hot chicks walking around State Street in Santa Barbara on a Sunday.

After that back at my place, as we took shots of Casadores, we had a decision to make. We could either go to Chumash with a $100 each and see what we could do at the blackjack tables, OR....we could not. At this point, although slightly buzzed, the former option seemed much better. I had been pretty lazy all week after work, and hadn't really gone outside, so I wanted to go do something.

Now I'm pretty broke right now, but I'm not to the point where $100 will hurt to lose. Mitchell, on the other hand, didn't feel like popping $100 to go lose it at blackjack, as he had already dropped $300 a week earlier to the very same Indian tribe. It was then that I realized that if I could lose $100, it wouldn't hurt too much to lose $200 by loaning Mitch $100 for the time being. That solved one problem, and I forked over $15 in Chumash chips that I had lyin around for gas money so that I didn't have to drive.

We got up there, and within 20 minutes turned our buyins (ended up being $120 each, both supplied by me) into around $275 each. Within the half hour, we obviously lost it back plus most of our stack. We were still having a good time, so it didn't bug me too much. Eventually we lost our monies and I whipped out another $60 to go heads up with the dealer. I lost every hand.

I followed Mitch over the cage so he could cash in his gas money chips that I had given him earlier, and being the degenerate that I am realized I still had $20 in my pocket. On the way out I stopped at the 1st seat of a table after watching the dealer pull two blackjacks in a row against a sorry table. I threw $20 on the circle and watched the dealer peel me off an Ace followed by a Queen.

Sweet!

The next hand I let the $50 ride, and I hit a 20 against an 18. I let the $100 ride and I took another 20, this time against a 17. I popped the dealer $20 and took off over to the cage, up $160 from two minutes earlier, and minus the $120 I leant Mitch, only $20 down on the night.

On the way out, realizing that I was only $20 down on the night, I decided to pop into the 1st seat of a new shoe on another table. I put $20 on the first hand, and just happened happened to peel of an A10 for another blackjack. For some stupid reason (as it usually is when playing blackjack), I only put out $15 on the second hand. I ended up losing that one, and popped the last $35 on the next hand. A 20 was good for a win against a dealer 17, and I pressed the $70. The next hand, I hit AA and had to reach into my newfound cash for split money. I split the Aces for $70 a hand, and hit a King and a Queen for two 21's. The table was crackin up at my carelessness and supreme luck, and I took down the $280 in front of me, minus a $30 for the gracious dealer.

I walked over to the cage laughing my ass off at all the money I had won in 5 minutes, and we left the Chumash casino as happy as a couple pigs in shit (gross expression?.....yeah I think so). Overall I had won $165 after tipping the cashier a redbird, although I was short $120 in cash cuz of the money I gave Mitch, so technically I only left with $45 more than I came with. I was still pretty stoked.

Obviously this isn't a lot of money, and to me this is pretty much money for food around town for a couple days. But considering that I only had $20 left before we were about to leave, and considering that I've been feeling pretty down about finances lately, it felt pretty good to walk away with any kind of win.

It was definitely something I needed, since I've been pretty bored all in all lately, and I needed the thrill of gambling. I had played a little bit of poker online while I home Friday night, but within a matter of hours I took two 2-outers in NLHold'em and another 2-outer in PLOmaha Hi, so I was pretty irritated and my urges were surely not satisfied. It was then that I vowed not to play serious poker for a while, both because of the fact that I'm low on funds and have no set bankroll, and because the game's become seriously not fun for me in the past couple of months, which is the only reason I play it in the first place. I'm even questioning playing at Paul's for a while, although I'll probably still go to deal even if I don't play.

This is something I've said a couple times before, hence my headline on this blog, but I'm pretty set about this time. The game's just become not fun to me anymore and I refuse to play it in that case.

With that being said on Friday night, I got a call from Matt on Sunday evening saying that he and his roommates were playing a game, $20-$40 buyin. I said okay.

Now even though I had said on Friday I wasn't gonna play cards anymore, I had stated that I wasn't playing any serious cards anymore, as well as stating Paul's game specifically. I said that I would play Bonedoneskis for sure, and I also never said I wouldn't play small games just for fun with the right people.

So as I walked into Matt's house, I saw seven guys already deep into a game of $20 buy-in $.25/$.50 NLHE. I bought in for $20, and within ten minutes was over $50. I ended up letting go of a couple hands that I now know I shouldn't have, as I gave these guys more credit than I should have, but overall in under two hours that I was there for I cashed out for $87. All in all it was fun, and it was a fun group of guys to play with. That and they were easy money.

But like I said, that game was just as much for fun as the blackjack was, and I don't expect to be playing another other than small homegames in the near future.

With such a boring week preceding it, the weekend was a well-needed blend of personal space and fun. I'm feeling like I'll be in the mood for writing this week, so hopefully I won't be such a bastard dad to this blog in the next few days.

Until next time.

BD FTW!

More internet acronyms for you?

This weekend was our game at Paul's, and marks the second weekend in a row with a big fat donuthole for me. Luckily the past couple weekends of losses have been a bit smaller than my December-February stretch (only one zero in both instances, as opposed to two or three of them). And in fact, despite not even cashing in either of the two tournaments this weekend I actually left Paul's house with more money than I brought.

Darsky had and I had planned on meeting at PP early to get a bit of Bonedoneskis in before the tournies started. We had about an hour and a half to play, and of course when everyone started showing up they wondered why we were playing this stupid game with $200 on the table. *sigh*......they'll never understand.

I pretty heavily dominated Darsky (hahahahahaaaaa) in the beginning, and was able to defend a comeback by having him hit a big boat against my quads, and also by me making a move with the 4c on one (or two) occasions. I almost folded a BD draw, which made me feel like an idiot, but missed it when I stayed anyways. I also took a win in War to put me at 3-0 there as well. All in all with my good catches and big hands, I was able to pick $56 up off of Darsky before the tournies started.

This year Paully decided to do his $30 tournies a little differently, and because of some changes made I'm dealing one of the tables as well as the final table whenever we play, regardless of whether I'm still in the tourney or not. While this has tightened me up the past couple of weeks (good in this game), it also makes it difficult to play. Nevertheless, I'm not gonna stop playin...the game is super soft and many hands I see make me giggle.

The second hand of the tourney was pretty much my last one of the first tournament of the night. With starting stacks at T3000 and opening blinds at 25-50, we had five limpers to me and I limped the Kh-10h on the button. The small blind completed and the big blind decided to raise. How much? 50. Yup. Min-raise out of the SB to start the tourney. GREAT! Everyone called as did I and the SB behind me.

The flop came out 9h-Jh-x, and I immediately knew I was in trouble. The SB checked and the BB now bet 100 into the 800 pot. With two callers I bumped the bet to 600 and the BB called while the other two folded. The Ad hit the turn and the BB insta-pushed. I thought about it for a second before finally gambling and sticking the rest of my stack in. It was a bad call but I felt I had decent outs, and honestly I didn't really feel like dealing and playing the rest of the tournament.

I missed the river and was left with a single 25 chip which I quadrupled up to 100, only to lose it two hands later. I dealt the rest of the tourney with no worries and got tipped $15. Meh, whatever.

The second tourney I pushed 10-10 against a LAG player who happened to have Aces, and I was out of the second tourney with no cash again. I wasn't upset cuz I wasn't really in the mood to play and deal that night, though I kinda wished I woulda played better just because I haven't had a winning session in two months now and it's really taken its toll on me.

In any case I stuck around for the crazy quarter games afterwards and we played dealer's choice gambling games until around 2AM. I picked up another $50 there and actually ended the night up money after losing both tournies with no cash. That money bought me a tank of gas and that was just fine by me.

On Sunday I had a lot of laundry to do, and pretty much had a lot to do in general but accomplished nothing until night started to kick in.

In other news it's been over three months since I've had a haircut and coming up on two weeks since I've shaved. I plan on doing neither soon, as I'm sort of in a state of "not doing" right now. Whatever it is that I'm feeling now I'm glad it's not depression anymore.

And I have a feeling it has everything to do with Her.

Long Time No See...

It's been way too long since I've posted last, I can feel all of your pain! It's been a very busy week, both at work and personally, and I feel like I've been off keel sleepwise all week thanks to the changing of the time. Haha not that I've ever had an easy time getting up for work anyways...

Anyways

Last Friday night I headed out to Universal Citywalk with Mitch and couple other buddies to see 300 at the IMAX. We stopped for a few beers and chatted about life for a while (crazy ex-girlfriends, roommates, Vegas, etc.) before we filed into the waiting line. The line was long but moved fast so when the doors to the theater opened it only took minutes to get seated.

There were a few shouts and hollers when the gigantic pre-movie warning came on, but for the most part everyone quieted down for the opening scene. The movie came out with great anticipation and, after the work of art that was Sin City, rightfully so.

The whole movie wasn't shot in the same style as it's prior comic-based counterpart, but certain shots were done with certain artistic elements and all in all the movie was amazing. Admittedly, it was definitely a "manly man's" movie and the majority of the story revolves around the continuing battle between a select few soldiers from the Spartan army and the massive collective army of the Persian Empire. The actors went through rigorous training and body-building for this movie and every Spartan in the movie was ripped beyond God. Combine that with the way the movie was shot and the added effects, and you really feel every hit, kick, and sword slice (and there were many) the movie has to offer.

The lead actor, Gerard Butler, was pretty much the perfect choice for the role of King Leonidas. When he speaks in this movie, you feel it. Every time he shouts it resonates through your entire body.

When the movie was finished if you were a man you felt like walking by and delivering a thundering punch to every concession stand clerk, bellboy, and movie watcher around you. It leaves you with the feeling that you can crush and dominate anything that stands in your path.

In my opinion this was one of the best movies to have been released in the past few years. As for the historical accuracy of the movie, it's not all there; it is a retelling of a retelling and based off of a comic book on top of that, so don't look for it to be accurate. But the way with which the movie was put together and the style that it was filmed made it quickly shoot to #1 movie in my eyes. It's a definite must-see.

On Saturday night I went out with my cousin and her fiancee to celebrate their newly announced engagement. We hit up a new bar in Simi that was converted from a restaurant that used to be in its place, and it was quite alright. We had a good time and it's always fun to hang with family that you're close with, so the night went well.

On Sunday I headed down to Hollywood Park for the first time with my old man. Being as how I'm on a two-month downswing and going through a personal financial mess on top of that, I opted to sit the $3-6 with my dad and just splash around and have some fun. I wasn't looking to win any money in the game, but I wasn't looking to dump a rack either.

The building itself is pretty big. It has high ceilings, a large amount of poker tables, and the usual high limit area sectioned off to the side. They were spreading $2-4 to $8-16 Limit and $1-2 and $2-5NL in the low limit section, and much higher games in the high limit. All in all it's a pretty standard L.A. card room.

They had a free drawing in action when we showed up where they would pick a random player's card and that person would automatically win $300 or could trade in the money for a chance to pick out of 18 other briefcases, all of which had varying cash amounts ranging from .01 to $10,000. It was basically a Deal or No Deal challenge. They called a generic L.A. Mexican "Jose" for the win, and he took the $300. They then asked him what briefcase he would've chosen and they revealed his would've been prize of $5,000.

At this point I got into an argument about why he would've taken the $300 instead of trading for a chance to win more. I won that one.

As for the $3-6 limited hold them game, it was your standard live $3-6 donkfest. The first hand I sat down there was four-way action to a 9 high flop, with a bet and a raise and three players to a turn of an offsuit 10. Two more bets and the same three players saw a J on the river, and two more bets out of three players produced a big ole' Q-8 offsuit FTW. I laughed out loud as the woman (of course) scooped the pot, then I tightened my drawers so I wouldn't shit myself at the horrible play I was about to see for the rest of the session.

I took the 4s next to my old man in the 3s and we had a good time. I was up and down for the most part, playing a lot of hands all with awesome value. I saw some really disgusting plays and witnessed the most ridiculous hands that I've seen in a long time. If I had even kept some of the HHs that I saw at the table they would've been in the trash long before I had a chance to post them. And this wasn't even hands that I was involved in. Actually I was dead even until the dreaded "rack hand".

For those that aren't familiar with the RH, its definition is the last hand you play before leaving the table for that session. Usually you'll have your chips racked and counted, and will be UTG about to leave before your big blind for it to be considered a true RH. On a regular basis my rack hands seem to be AQ-AA, and I'm always forced to raise UTG and play it out.

Today would be no different. With my chips racked and a $5 profit ready to depart, I looked down at AQo . I opened for a raise UTG and got called by the button, the SB, and the BB. This is how the hand played out.

Dealt to Hero [Ac,Qh]
Hero raises $3 to $6
5s folds, 6s folds, 7s folds, Button calls, SB calls, BB calls.

Flop: Qc-2h-4d
SB checks, BB checks, Hero bets $3, Button folds, SB calls, BB calls.

Turn: Qc-2h-4d-7d
SB checks, BB checks, Hero bets $6, SB calls, BB folds.

River: Qc-2h-4d-7d-5s
SB checks, Hero bets $6, SB raises $6 to $12, Hero calls.

Showdown:
SB shows [Qs,5d] and has two pair, Queens and fives.
Hero mucks.

And that was that. I wasn't completely shocked but still irritated. That's how low limit LHE goes though, so whatever. I was actually surprised that I only lost the amount played out in that hand. I flopped two straights for a couple big pots, and had AK hold up twice. That was enough to have me even until the RH and it was a fun time altogether.

After that I went back to Simi and headed home to Santa Barbara and about 9:30. I had to stop in Ventura for some DoD of course, and that was the end of my weekend.

I've been fighting a head cold for the past week and a half, which has led to a desire to do nothing at all, which is part of the reason it took me so long to update. I'll be updating regularly still, so if you're still tuned in then stay tuned!

Until next time.

Now Now

Update is on its way tonight!

300 is Here!!

Tomorrow is a moment I've been waiting for for a couple of months now. Tonight, actually, is the night when 300 premieres. I've been wanting to see this movie since the trailers hit the internet waves months ago, and I've tickets to go see it at the IMax tomorrow night. The preference would've have been to see it at the ArcLight, but they're not even showing it there.

I posted about this movie a while ago, to see the trailer click here.

I also found out that my cousin is getting married to her boyfriend of two years, which will obviously require a celebration in drunkeness on Saturday, so we'll be hitting up downtown LA to get some drinks this weekend too.

The past couple of days have been pretty uneventful as I've been home sick with a stupid head cold. I went in to work for a couple of hours today but ended up going home after I started getting lightheaded.

Anyways, I'll post an update on Saturday probably, so...until next time.

The Weekend in Reviews

Since I saw two movies this weekend, which is more than I've seen in like six months, I'll post this entire entry in review format.

Ventura: *****
I started the weekend by headin out to Ventura on Friday night. The drive out was nothing compared to the fun had for the entire weekend. I always enjoy goin out to Ventura, as that's where all my high school buddies reside and it brings back memories of a better, more easy living point in my life. I know Ventura better than Santa Barbara, and everywhere I go I know someone out there. Good food, good times, and probably the funnest group of guys ever was what I experienced this weekend. Signified by Snapper Jack's Taco Shack, a couple nights at HM's condo, and a bunch of cool friends, this weekend could have only been made better by having a longer weekend. Unfortunately Ventura can't do anything about that, so I still give this town five stars.


Zodiac: ****
This movie was long but enjoyable, and far better than 2005's "The Zodiac". There was a decent crew in the film, including America's on again off again drug addict Robert Downey Jr. Backing him was the never-aging Jake Gyllenhaal. Also included are a bunch of big-ish names that haven't been around in forever, including Mark Ruffalo, Anthony Edwards, John Carroll Lynch, and Elias Koteas.

The Zodiac killer started his reign of terror in 1966 when he killed a young female student. He sent an anonymous letter to the police department of the local county, which hadn't picked up any leads on the evidence left at the crime scene. Over decades the Zodiac killer would murder young men and women across three other counties, while intermittently sending letters and coded messages to local newspapers as well as to the local police departments. While many suspects were questioned, no one was ever convicted as the serial killer.

During the murders Robert Graysmith (Gyllenhaal), an employee of one of the local newspapers, took it upon himself to follow the murder trail of the infamous murderer, with decoding his messages while searching for the man's identity. Even years after no one had heard from the Zodiac killer, Graysmith continued with his research and eventually led police with convincing evidence back to one of their previous suspects. Unfortunately, after nearly twenty years since the murders began, the prime suspect died and the case has remained one of California's biggest unsolved crimes.

While the story may be years old, it is still considered one of great intrigue and mystery by those who followed it. Ruffalo and Edwards played decent roles of detective buddies while showing the growing frustrations with the case that had developed over the years it was being worked on. Robert Downey Jr. is one of my favorites and he has another stand out role in this movie, playing a drunk loud-mouthed reporter. The only complaint I have about this crew is that Jake Gyllenhaal physically cannot look old. So while the entire cast ages in the movie over the two decade span, Gyllenhaal's character still looks 12.

With the story being old and played out as it is, "Zodiac" did a great job of keeping it entertaining. With a couple witty lines and a comic relief in Downey Jr., there was just enough content to keep your head locked in for the two hour and forty minute running time. Overall I'd give it four stars and a see-if-you-can.


Black Snake Moan: ***(*)
This movie serves it's customers an interesting, insensible plot with a steaming side of hot naked southern chick. With Samuel L. Jackson playing the lead, one can only wait to count how many "MUTHA FUCKA!!"'s are going to be shouted throughout the film. Christina Ricci plays a uhh....standout....role in this one as well, sort of weirdly complimenting Jackson's bold character.

The blonde Ricci has definitely slimmed down since her early childhood years, and in no way resembles her chubbier roles a la "Casper". She has no problem showing off her modern-day body in this movie and, thanks to her character being a nymphomaniac, spends most of the first half of the movie in near nakedness. Breast showing is abundant and many men were heard popping wood in the theater for most of the showing, as the blonde with the southern accent was seen in very provocative sexual scenes.

I actually laughed out loud when the unadvertised Justin Timberlake shows up for a supporting role. You can rest assured knowing that his acting is just as bad as it sounds like it would be. It was fortunate that he isn't seen much in the film, though I think they could've found someone for his part that doesn't make you smirk every time he tries to do a serious job.

The story takes us along with a slutty, trashy, southern blonde, Rae(Ricci) who goes on a sexual rampage when her boyfriend leaves town to join the Army. She ends up partying too hard one night and ends up getting left in the road at the end of the driveway belonging to the newly brokenhearted Lazarus(Jackson). Lazarus ends up finding out about the young girl's troubles and takes it upon himself to fix her up. He confines her to his farm set home and of course the two eventually take a strong liking to each other, in a completely platonic way of course.

The storyline was out of the ordinary, and Timberlake had a chance to ruin the movie, but the badass-ness of Samuel L. Jackson and the nudity of the sexy Christina Ricci brought this movie to about a three-and-a-half star rating. Since Ricci was so generous with her body in this movie, I bumped that extra half star up to a full four-star shoutout. If it were up to me, you should go this movie MUTHA FUCKA!!


Total Weekend: *****
Including the movies, the food, the friends, and the DoD'ing, I give this weekend a definite five-star pull. I always feel like I need a break at the end of the week, but returning for a weekend of fun at my "hometown" of Ventura always takes me beyond the boundaries of break and sends me right into feeling like vacation mode. I'll be hangin out with HM next Friday when we hit up the iMax for the premier of "300", I can't wait for that. If all goes well we'll have to tear up LA while we're down there.


Until next time.

Daily Update: I'm Retarded

So...as for the post yesterday, I understand. I have an estranged view on things sometimes and it takes a big, crazy slap to the face to make me straighten out. If you read it and feel upset with my stupidity, rest soundly tonight knowing that the emotional swing of the thought of my job sent me into a tizzy and I've since recovered.

Moving on.

The donation craze talked about in the Holla B4LLA!! is now up around $30K. Most of these guys are donating and re-donating. It's really amazing to me that all these poker players, guys who are looked down upon and seen as lazy, careless, degenerate, etc. etc. came together like this and donated what they could. Some of these guys in their early 20's who are rolling are just throwing thousands of dollars, and those low limiters are throwing in $20 a pop too. If I weren't busto right now I'd help too, but I'm scraping this month as it is. Sorry kids, I wanna ship it.

I'd love to see the face of the office manager at the head Childrens, Inc. office after seeing a mad flood of donations in their e-mail. To just walk in one day and be hit with that must feel really cool. What it do BBV!

I've been spending too much time on 2+2 this week, I know.

Tonight I'll be heading out to Ventura for the weekend. I gotta get my car tuned up too, as I'm not gonna let myself go on this one. I've had a history of being lazy with my responsibilities, but I'm definitely not gonna let this one slide.

This post was weak. My apologies. Brain hurts. Adios.

Until next time.

Homage to 2+2: A BBV Thread

BEAT: I'm about two weeks away from getting fired

BRAG: I'll quickly move to Vegas if I do

VARIANCE: I'm in control of my own fate?

Today I got the word from the Big Man that if I come in late one more time I might as well not come in at all...ever. I'm currently confused as to whether or not I should interpret that as a threat or as a gift. I'm only 21 and being in this position has been playing dirty mind games with me since I started working here.

I will say, however, that I don't want to lose my job. I love this place, I love how much of nothing I get to do all day, I love that I can cover my expenses and afford things that some people my age (and some older) cannot, and I love having stability. I have no girlfriend and no schooling to attend to, so work is basically it. And if I wasn't working full time I wouldn't want to be working.

The problem with this situation is that I'm late and I don't know why. I've been that way since I was younger and for no obvious reason. Obviously it's gotten to a point where it's affecting me in a horrible way, and I'd like to fix this problem, but I can't!

There's something physical happening with my body where I can't wake up when my alarm goes off. I've tried going to bed earlier. I've tried setting my alarm earlier, only to find myself furiously jamming the "snooze" button until it snoozes past my wake-up time anyways. I've been eating different diets over the past couple years, and that hasn't changed anything either.

Let me explain a little more clearly what happens. I awake in the morning to an alarm clock that has already been blaring at me for the past fifteen minutes. I jam the "snooze" button while in a state of 95% unconsciousness, and this much I know only because when I wake up the next time it's fifteen minutes later and I have no recollection of putting the alarm into snooze mode. The unconscious snooze pounding will happen multiple times if I set my alarm clock earlier than I already do, I've tried it. If I put it to a decent time to wake up in relation to my starting time, I end up "snoozing" right through it anyways and finally jump out of bed when I have 15 minutes to be at my desk.

If I was waking up and laying in bed, taking my time, and getting ready and that's what was causing me to be late, I'd fix it. If I got drunk every night and went to bed at 4AM and that's what was causing me to be late, I'd fix it. But it's nothing like that. The matter of fact is that I have a habit of being late because I actually have a physical problem that prohibits me from doing so.

The one thing that I've found that I can wake up for, or unwillingly wake up for in any case, is when I have someone in bed with me. Well...when I wake up next to a chick in bed specifically, though I've never been in a situation to wake up next to a dude so I dunno if it has the same effect. When I wake up next to a girl in bed I'm up long before my alarm is even close to going off, and it's usually a wide eyed, mentally aware kind of awake. I don't know why this is, it might be a protection kind of thing.

Whatever the reason may be, this is the only way I wake up without trouble. Unfortunately for me, I have no one to be there on a daily basis so my troubles will continue. I've always believed that a good woman is behind every man's success, and perhaps this is part of the way it applies to me.

Whatever happens, I think I'll be fine. With the financial dues I've gotten myself into (dues...not debts), losing this job would be a major blow to my financial life. Were I to lose the job, I'd instantly be in a situation where I'd have to make a pretty decent amount of money right off the bat. I've often thought about moving to Vegas, usually with the hopes to play full time, but with the acceptance to deal as well.

In my current downswing and financial crush, the playing full time definitely won't happen. The dealing may. I haven't been truly happy since I moved out here, except for during the stint I had with an unnamed girl. Outside of that shortlived relationship there's been nothing to please me out here. Santa Barbara is a nice town and I do enjoy living here, but I am not happy.

If I got fired and moved to Vegas, it would be a blessing in disguise as far as I'm concerned. The change of scenery would be nice, the nightlife would be fun, and the thought of living by the seat of your pants as a player/dealer has always sounded like a crazy fun thing to do at my age.

I don't think I'll get fired too soon, but if I'm going to be told that the axe will be dropped if I'm late one more time, I'd imagine that I'll be gone from here soon enough. Of course, all of you loyal readers will be kept updated. Wish me luck.

Until next time.