Shortstacking Vegas Pt. III

This is the finale' of Shortstacking Vegas Pt. I and Shortstacking Vegas Pt. II. It's been on my procrastination list forever, so enjoy it more than you usually would.

Decker's first four-of-a-kind of the night

With spirits high (and flowing), and Decker just having turned his $20 into $550, the crew was ready for the night ahead. Although we had just eaten hours earlier, the five of us figured we'd uphold our obligations to ditch the Nugget and join some family over at the Mirage's buffet since 1)we didn't have to pay for it and 2)we were going to be down on the Strip for the rest of the night anyways.

We met up, nibbled on a few things so as not to be rude, and the 21crowd ordered a slew of drinks to keep us entertained as we chatted with family and friends for the birthday celebration. A short while later Brando called and said he was parking and would be in soon. We downed the rest of our drinks, said goodbye to the family, and we were off to enjoy the night.

Brando was waiting for us outside the cafe, and the first order of business was obviously...DRINKS! Mitch, him, and I headed to a bar in the Mirage while the rest of the guys went to find some video poker machines. Brando took care of the tab (thanks again man) and without an open table we took back to the casino floor.

We found Decker (the apparent video poker kind of the weekend) pluggin away at a quarter video poker machine with a fist full of twenties in one hand, a drink in the other, and a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. Mitch and I both watched as Brando peeled a hundo out of his pocket and sat next to Decker.

At this point, being the last night in this Vegas go-around, Mitch and I had obviously run out of money. We decided to head to the ATM (one time!) and we hit gold on the 100% no-risk machine as a few hundos poured out for the each of us. When we returned to the video machines Decker and Brando were about to negotiate a deal for a race to the next 4-of-a-kind. An amount was agreed upon and they were off.

Decker, hot off of his $500+ hit at the quarter VP machines at the Nugget was nonchalantly randomizing his betting amounts and draw times, while Brando took the more aggressive, more optimal approach by max betting every draw and doing so as fastly as possible. Obviously with more credits returned on the big hands and more hands/hr than Decker, Brando looked like the favorite to win.

On this night, however, optimal play would not come into consideration in Brando's play. After ripping out a second hundo and continuing his timely play, he couldn't capitalize. A few minutes later Decker raised his hands in victory as four sixes came drawing to a halt in front of Brando's face. Defeated and distraught, Brando paid his debt and, visibly shaken ;), collected his remaining funds from the machine. This wouldn't be Decker's last quads of the night...

We decided to roam the Mirage for a bit and Mitch and I ended up watching Brando go on a short craps heater before he gave it back to even (or a small profit...I don't remember). After that we found ourselves a nice little single-deck blackjack table, which I managed to pick up $300 to start closing myself in on even for the trip.

I made a dangerous move when I stopped by the craps table before I even cashed in my winnings, and ended up escaping with a minimal $100 loss after a few minutes of play. I exchanged my chips at the cage, and on the way out Brando obviously had to hit up a few more slots. He tried a random one first and then a Harley Davidson one, both of which treated him like slime. It was time to go somewhere else.

After we milled around for a few more minutes, we decided to head over to the Venetian. The other guys had headed over a while earlier, and we were on our own to scout them out...but not before Brando found another slot machine once we got inside. This time it was a Wheel of Fortune slot.

After multiple spins and multiple failures, I came up with the idea of the Triple Thread Slot Pull. It's a move that requires two players, and uses a combination shot of hitting the Max Bet button, the Spin button, and the lever. With one player using one hand for either button, and one offset player on the right-hand side pulling the lever, it's sure to confuse any slot machine and it's caretakers. In my mind it was an unconsidered move that guaranteed a win. In reality, it was useless. But it still looked badass, and I have strong feelings that this move will work wonders on a single pull one day...

In this example, Brando was the main man while Mitch helped alongside.


After we were carded twice, I jumped on the phone and Decker had said he was at the bar. Of course with Vegas bars come Vegas video poker machines. Imagine my surprise when we turned around to find Decker occupying another seat, steadily staring down at the machine with cash and drink in hand. We all ordered drinks and started intently watching Decker try for his third four-of-a-kind on the day. Brando popped in another bill as he ordered a drink, while Decker gave both Mitch and myself cash to play beside him.

About 20 minutes after I sat down, I ended up pulling four Aces on Decker's dime. We all shouted in celebration. I was completely speechless at the fact that in a matter of six hours, we'd managed to hit three four-of-a-kinds, while my only previous time playing video poker in Vegas had me hitting a royal flush on the first and only draw I'd take during that trip.

Decker scurried off to the bathroom to relieve himself of his day's current drinking tally, while Brando, Mitch, and myself stayed seated to keep plugging away at the video poker machines. As I was facing Brando and talking, Mitch began to tap on my shoulder repeatedly. I looked over at his machine (again, on Decker's dollars) and saw an unbelievable sight: another four-of-a-kind, this time it was 7's. We waited for Decker to come back before we all laughed hysterically at the ultimate luck held within our monies, and cashed out after ordering another round.

Brando and I headed to the Venetian's poker room to see if we could cause some drunken havoc at a $2-4 game, but the lowest game going was $4-8 and it just didn't have the inviting feel that a lower game would have at that point. Even though we'd been drinking the day through, I was not even buzzed and felt very disappointed. I hadn't slept the previous night, so I assume that my body trying to keep itself awake was doing a big part to keep me un-drunk, but it was disheartening nonetheless. I wanted to be drunk, but I hoped to get there by sitting at the lowest limit poker table possible and drinking round after round while wildly flinging chips. This wasn't the game for it though, so we did what any sensible gamblers would do, we hit the blackjack tables again.

We took up Mitch and Decker as we scoured the casino floor while looking for a fun looking table. We found one and Mitch took the seat. He went through what little money he had withdrawn, and Decker handed him a bit from his victory stash. I ended up grabbing a seat next to Mitch after about a shoe and a half, and after a few more shoes I found myself up another $200 on the night after giving Mitch $100 to stay in the game with me. I was almost even!

We got up and strolled the Venetian until we came across our other two very drunk friends making fools of themselves in front of a couple attractive Vegas nighties. Jason had managed to acquire an electro-shock massage pad at a gift shop somewhere, and had decided that the middle of the Venetian was a good place to use it. They had attached it to his chest, and with a drunken 21-year-old on the controller's end, Jason was in for quite a ride. He was shocked pretty hard for quite a while as the rest of us were on the floor laughing hysterically. The entertainment lasted for a few minutes and then Brando took off for the night.

The five of us then decided to head down to the MGM. On our long walk, we managed to lose Jason to the cops twice, ran into two cute weed-selling modern day hippie chicks, and low and behold we ran into a group of chicks that we knew from back home. If there's anything more disappointing about a Vegas trip, it's randomly running into a group of chicks that you already know during a random drunken walk down the strip. Add to this the fact that I had yet to BECOME drunk, and I was in a bit of a bitter mood. The girls wanted to go to McDonald's....so we left them there and took off back on our marry way.

Before we hit the MGM we came upon a wondrous sight, the Paris. The lights had attracted us and in we went. We looked for an open bar, but there was none. We all ended up in the walkway to Bally's before Jason got pulled in by the temptation of loud club music and cute promoter chicks that were standing outside. He drunkenly, laughingly tried to resist the moans and puppy-dog faces of the half-naked girls, but they pulled him in and the four of us followed suit to make sure he didn't get into any trouble.

Once inside the drinking continued, and after I bought a round of Kamikazes for the guys, and three shots of the same for myself, I felt drunk for the first time during the trip. I had accomplished my goal! We decided to carry on and keep trying to make it to the MGM Grand, but we hadn't gotten half that far before we found ourselves on the bridge of the New York New York having a loud drunken conversation.

I ended up fielding a phone call that lead me inside, and when I was finished I saw that the rest of the crew had followed me in to locate me and get me off of the phone. I ended up finding another single-deck blackjack shoe, and having lost to NYNY every time I've been to Vegas, I pulled out $300 to make sure it wouldn't happen again. Since I had yet to come even on the trip, the alcohol obviously played a big role in this blackjack round, but as drunk as I was I was still determined.

I played through a few shoes while I slurringly tried to explain to the group of friends that stopped by to play how to play correct strategy. Of course when they hit their 16's and 14's and busted, and doubled down their 11's against the dealer's 5 and they lost, they ended up getting hard headed with me and playing horribly on their own and losing anyways. As for me, I saw that I was up another $300 and, making a point to have a theme of winning for the night, decided to call it quits sensing that I was too gone to play well for any longer.

We all wandered around NYNY for a little bit longer before realizing that it was early the next morning and that after an entire night of drinking, gambling, walking, and all around fun, it was time to retire. We hailed a cab to take us back to the Nugget, and Mitch and I decided to take off to avoid the Sunday leaving-Las Vegas traffic. I passed out after another 48-hour sleepless stretch and Mitch drove home.

We had both taken to Vegas with no cash and only intention of appeasing Casey and his birthday well-wishes, and we both ended up having a blast. I broke even after spending $200 and giving $100 for gambling friends, Mitch only lost a little bit, and I was even able to kick down a little bit along with Decker to make sure everyone had a great time.

I can only hope that next time I go back, I'll have the same fun. And if we don't get a Bonedoneskis game goin with Brando soon, my head's gonna explode.

Until next time.