Jeff Freakin' Madsen

I don't know how many of my readers out there are following the WSOP via the internet or actually being in Vegas right now, but if you're following it at all you should know about Jeff Madsen right now. Jeff's a recently turned 21-year-old out of Southern California. At the time of me writing this he's made four final tables in four weeks at the World Series. One final table in Omaha HiLo, a third place finish in Stud HiLo, and he's won two bracelets in NL Hold'Em. At 21-years and one month he became the youngest bracelet winner ever at the World Series. Just days later he became the youngest person to ever win two bracelets. Why do I bring this up? Well, only cuz Jeff's a Chumasher.

I've played with Jeff multiple times at Chumash over the past year or two. Many people must think that he's an internet player, a new breed of players that lack certain skills of live play, but that's definitely not the case. He's been playing frequently at Chumash for a while, and while I've never seen him with a huge stack at the NL tables, Joe says he's seen him either go huge or lose huge, which is pretty typical of the younger aggressive players at the NL games up at Santa Ynez.

The reason I'm writing about this is that I've been putting a lot of thought into my current situation lately. I've been down recently, and after riding a pretty decent rush and being put in a bad financial situation in personal life, it's taken its toll on me mentally. But looking at Jeff's situation really stunned me. He's had varied success at Chumash, as have I, and he's only played the 2/5NL at the Mash since up until a month ago he's not been old enough to play anywhere else. Many of my reader's don't know that I'm only 20, so his situation is pretty close to mine, one difference being that I won't be 21 until December.

I've put the last three years of my life into this game, and like I said I've had varied results. I've been huge on a couple occasions, and those were great times. But I've also lost some on various occasions. Because I've more or less been a casino junkie for the past years I've also lost a lot playing Blackjack. I've since overcome my gambling tendencies since I've lost a lot of my poker winnings playing against the house, and that was a difficult lesson to learn. More recently I was forced to quit playing in the middle of a downswing. When a poker player is not playing poker, he starts to realize and understand the value of money. When someone's forced to work for their money it makes a huge impact on the way they view it if they've been doing a lot of gaming. And if you're making and losing more than you're making in an "actual" job, it'll definitely affect someone's mentality.

So that's where I've been as of late. Here, at work, no cards, no cash. I have a decent job with a lot of potential for growth, but it's for decent-to-low pay for right now since I'm early into it. But with the money I was tossin around playin cards it really feels like the money I'm makin now is inconsequential. I still have money left from card playing, but like I said in my last post I'm not in a position right now to put it into play, mainly because of the importance of the money to me right now. Because of the whole situation it's made me question the role that poker should be playing in my life. I'd like to make it the number one priority in my life, close to it anyways. I'd really like to make it that way for a long time. Unfortunately I'll have to wait a little bit to make that happen, but in the past couple of days I've come to grips with that.

Right now the plan is to not play cards seriously. Every single person I know that knows about my planned hiatus just laughs when they hear it, simply because I've been all about poker for the past few years now. It's not that I'm quitting poker altogether, just seriously and just for the time being. I do, however, have complete confidence in my game and will continue to do so until I get back into it heavily again. I've decided that I'll still play Paul's game, as that field is easily beatable and it's for decent amount of food money :) Also I'll be playin the weekly CT tournament on PStars most likely. It's just an $11 MTT, usually with around 50-60 people. The CT community is a good one, and although the tourney isn't for big money it seems like, from what I've seen, they still try to play a decent game, and that's good.

I've been puttin a lot of thinkin time into this whole thing. I've been talking a lot with Joe and have gotten some good words from Darsky, as usual, and my views have changed back and forth. I've become settled in some aspects of the matter, and now I'm ok to wait a little bit until I'm in a good position to play strongly again. It's just amazing to me to see this Jeff Madsen kid tearing up the World Series. It really showed me that given varied success and not having a lot of money after playing for so long (he's been playing for 3 years as well, and had to borrow money and use tuition money to get into the WSOP), it doesn't really matter. It hits really close to home considering he's so young AND he's a regular at Chumash!! His story is definitely inspirational to me and his successes so far have shown me a few things that I've blinded myself from.

OK enough about this, next time you will all read about the recent going-ons in my life besides this fiasco.

Until next time

Until Next Time

This blog might be done and over with for a long time. I suppose I could continue writing about stuff that happens in every day life, but I started this blog to write about poker and its influences on my life. And since I've decided to stop playing poker altogether, I suppose this blog will not continue to serve its purpose. I'm tired of losing to 3-outers, 4-outers, and 7-outers. It's heartbreaking, it's walletbreaking, and worst of all right now it's mindbreaking.

I've been playing this game for over 2 years now and I've gone through good rushes and tournament wins, and I've been through depressing lows. Obviously recently, thanks to extreme misfortune and horrible luck, I'm experiencing a very depressing low. I haven't been up to the casino in while because I squandered away my most recent rush, and the little I've put online in the past few days have all gone to crazy turns and rivers, and it's making me angry and depressed, neither of which is normally part of my personality.

I'm glad Joe is succeeding playing stud online, and I'm glad Darsky has enough resources and talent to consider playing poker full-time as well. I wish them both luck because I know and feel that they can do it. Unfortunately after all this time it looks like I just can't do it. I can't handle all the bad beats as of late, mainly because I don't have the bankroll to sustain them. I'll decide at a later time if I'll be playing Paul's monthly home game or not, but right now my state of mind is telling me that I won't.

I've been able to get this blog a lot of visitors and viewers, and I'm not sure how many out there are regulars from CT, or FCP, or the Hideout, but I'm sorry if you're a regular reader because it's killin me to not write this anymore. I enjoy writing, it's a hobby of mine, it's something I enjoy tremendously, and if you all want me to keep writing, anything at all, then leave a comment in my comment box. If not, this page will slowly die. Thanks for reading.

"Jesus! What've you been livin' on?!"

It's sad, isn't it? When I can't even pay $500 for a tournament. And I call myself a poker player?? Times are rough, it's true. But come on, $500? In today's world that should be money to scoff at, yet here I am hemming and hawing over the fact that I don't even want to spend money on necessities because I don't wanna feel like I'm down to the bone. Though I pretty much feel that way already.

I should have money, I should have lots of it. Thanks to a 3-year long-distance relationship with my ex-girlfriend (yes I'm blaming it on her, too) and the fact that for some reason I am not equipped with the natural ability to save money, I have nothing. I'm learning now, but it's too late now. If I had learned years ago then maybe life would be different. Maybe if I wasn't such an idiot before then I wouldn't feel like one now. I might have a nice car, a nice apartment, and more toys than I could imagine. But not now, Chris, congratulations cuz you suck at life. THANK YOU FUCK YOU. Yes I went on a small rush when I was Mashin regularly, but most of that's gone now, thanks to my love of buying useless shit and losing some of my winnings back on a truely disgusting run of cards over a month-long span. So I'm left to sit here every day to ponder what happened. It was supposed to be skill, not a rush.

Admittedly I've run into some really bad luck in order to lose most of it back, so perhaps it was skill. But now I have no money to find out for sure. People tell me the bad run was bad luck, and I want to believe it. But how many times does a poker player have to go broke until he finally hits it?? Whatever. I'm not even going to Vegas until December. Hopefully I'll be able to make a splash once I can get away from fuckin Chumash.

I know that if I could get back into the game I could crush it again. The last time I played I felt it, I felt good. I felt my play was good. I know that if I could get back on my feet in life then I could cruise along with that too. I'm level-headed now, I'm ready to do this. Every now and then someone just needs a little help. Unfortunately for me I have no more options for help. The only help I get is words, and sometimes those who need help need more than words. So it's on me now.

Wish me luck.

PS - Haha and in no way is any of this "getting back on my feet in life" about drugs, FORTUNATELY I've never had to travel down that road. It has to do with finances, as it usually does with most poker players. Just thought I'd throw that out there. And also I realize that I'm more fortunate than some people out there, and I'm appreciative of that. But at the same time it hurts on a personal level to think back where I went wrong and to know that I could've done things differently. Fortunately I'm still young and the world is still open to me.

Life: Encumbered

It's been 2 weeks and it already feels like I haven't played poker for years. I've just been takin it easy around the house lately, but shit it feels boring. Where's the excitement? Where's the thrills? I try not to watch poker on TV cuz it makes me crave it more. I try not to follow the WSOP online cuz it makes me crave it more. But who are we kidding? I've watched the 2005 USPC reruns like fifteen times this week alone, and it's only Wednesday. But it's not like I can't play cards. I can, but I can't, ya know what I mean?? Sure I could take $400 down to Chumash and see if I can't get on another $3,000 streak at the 2/5NL, but that wouldn't be the right move right now. If I lost the $400 I'd feel even worse than I do now.

I'm gettin really bummed out here because August is right around the corner. And with August this year comes Chumash's August Extravaganza, a large-field tourney yielding $100,000 for first place. The only problem is the $500 entry fee. Does anyone know a faithful backer? I won't be able to put up the entry fee for myself, thanks to troubling financial problems on the personal front. Although I suppose I could find a check for $530 in the street on the way home today. Either that or I could find a way to multiply the $5.30 in my pocket by 100 times, and then I'd be set. Now that's an idea.

On Sunday night I went to see Pirates of the Caribbean II, which I thought was as great as the first one. Then I went down to the campus on Monday night to hang out with Casey, he came out for his birthday. We hung out at a good friend's house with a few others, drank some drinks, and had an all-around good time. That's been the main highlight of pretty much the last two months. Gotta love hangin with Casey and his girlfriend, always good times.

Aside from all my bumming out I watched the first two seasons of Entourage on DVD this week. If you guys haven't seen that show, then you either don't like watching good shows, or you're out of the loop. In either case, I think that if you didn't like it if you've seen it, you should force yourself to watch it cuz you WILL like it, guaranteed. By the way, this is the first time in a long time that I borrowed a DVD to watch it instead of buying it. It hurt a little.

And on a last note I can say that not all is bad. I've been talking to Meredith (quite obsessively) over the past couple of weeks. She seems great! She's smokin' hot, she's a fun person, I can't get enough of her southern accent(it drives me wild), and she seems to like talking to me as much as I do her. Bad side? Of course there's still a bad side. She lives 2 hours away.

Nothing in life can never be too easy.

What is Life Without Poker?

Life has been pretty mundane since I haven't played poker in forever. Why? Cuz I can't. I need to save pretty much every single dollar I can until I get a new car. On top of that I'll be moving come September and my living expenses will increase dramatically. The bright side? I'll let you know when I find it.

Let's concentrate on more important things. Last time at Paul's I was doin alright but took a terrible beat to send me to the box early. With nine players left and the blinds at 200-400, I was sitting on about 14,000 and had Heather with about 18,000 on my left. A hand came up where Roland limped in from EP and it folded back around to me in the SB. I looked down at 9 10 offsuit and limped for an extra 200. Heather checked off and Joe dealt us a flop of 7-8-J rainbow. Boo yah!! I checked figuring that crazy Roland would bet if Heather checked, but much to my surprise Heather announced that she was all in for her 18,000 stack. Thanks for that!

Roland was messing with his chips and was looking like he wanted in badly, as I lied in wait waiting to nearly triple up right here. He eventually folded and I quickly did a "CALLNUTS" as I flipped over my straight. Heather showed QJ. Chris = 96.52% to win. Or is that to lose? I forget. Oh wait no yeah it was definitely 96% to lose. The turn came a 10 and the river a 9 and Heather kicked my ass to the rail. I don't mind losing, I've become emotionless to losing by this point. What DID get me ticked was that immediately upon the river completing her straight, Heather said "OH well I told you this tournament was mine I knew it was coming I told you I was gonna win this tournament. Sorry." Um....................

Words of wisdom to all players out there. Don't shove your 18,000 stack in on a rainbow straighted flop for a 1200 pot. Then if you give someone a huge beat after making a really stupid bet, first off don't tell someone that you KNEW it was coming. That's fuckin terrible and a really, really worthless and stupid comment. Secondly, don't tell them sorry, and especially if you just told them you thought it was coming. That's like a sure recipe for death. Luckily Heather's a good part of the group so I was only mad at her for a little bit when I stepped into the dealer's box.

I didn't play poker for that whole week afterwards because it was a bright reality that I needed to not spend money. Unfortunately for me and my money, Joe and I were supposed to head down to LA to meet up with Darsky and go to one of his friend's birthday BBQ and poker party. This guy had a nice backyard filled with people, and a hired casino party company who had provided seven poker tables, chips, cards, dealers. And on top of that a beautiful drink girl with a southern accent. The buy-in was $25, and there were three rebuys available for $25 also. So overall there was 68 players all basically putting in $100. Good? Yes. But not for me who's trying NOT to spend or gamble money. Luckily Joe said he'd put me in and we'd split the profit between us.

So the night went on and we ate and drank and played cards. Darsky took third (?) I believe and a decent size cash, and by the end of the tournament Joe and I had split a big honkin zero between the both of us. But not to worry! My mind quickly averted from poker and my attention was focused on the drink-running brunette beauty! I was quick to be my usual socially-adaptable self, and made small conversation with her when I could. We exchanged information as the night went on, and although she lives in LA, I'm talking to her now. I always enjoy meeting new people :)

Some exciting things have come about this week. Joe took money out of his account for bills for the first time this week! That's both exciting and scary. It makes it quite a definite reality that he is INDEED playing poker for a living. It's kinda scary for him since he's been watching his online account grow for the past month, and now has to take out a bit to pay for life. He's been doing pretty well playing 5/10 Stud for the past month, and it looks like he'll be doin fine for a while to come. Last night he also placed 5th out of 2655 players in Party's 40K Guaranteed. He was disappointed that he couldn't nab the $11,120 first place, but the chip leader took AQ against JoeDinski's 55 and turned the A, sending him packing with a $2,700 cash. Still not bad for $22. He's been playing well and building, so he's doin it.

And if you haven't followed Darsky's trail into becoming a full-time pro, you need to! He's finally doing it!! You can see the start of it here, and then the further exploration of it here, and the decision here. It's definitely an exciting and defining time for him and his close friends, so keep up with it. THAT'S how you do it!

Like I said before, I might not be playing for a while. Backers are always welcome, cuz I can still play the game. It is pretty boring without playing though...Although me and the guys have been hittin up the beach and throwin the disc around a lot lately. It definitely feels good to get out in the sun and run around a bit after being jammed inside a casino for the past year straight. Perhaps it's time to hit the volleyball courts, no?.............

Until next time, here's my new favorite quote:

"I used to be a gambler. I quit gambling. I quit yesterday. I quit again this morning, and I'll lay six-to-one, I'll probably quit again this morning." - Walter Matthau

A Little Excerpt

Here's a little intro to a short story I started writing. I wrote this and a few pages more a while ago, and have yet to touch it since.

Introduction

The sound of a car horn blared through his partially opened window and pounded on his brain as he groggily woke from his sleep. Jesus Christ, he thought to himself. He tried to lift his body out of bed, but failed miserably and crashed back down onto his plush mattress. He squirmed, running his hands and legs through his warm sheets, which provided a welcome contrast to the crisp air around him. He jumped up to go slam the window shut, and jumped just as fast back into bed, trying to avoid the cold, hardwood surface beneath him. He had done it without even as much as opening his eyes. He lay there and took his time to rest, relinquishing in the fact that there was no rush to get up. A lot of guys in their mid-20s loved sleeping, but Jason saw it more as a sport. Many people he knew thought that the amount of sleep he got was unhealthy, and would tell him that he should be out doing other stuff instead of sleeping all day. Many people he knew, however, were unaware of his profession. He didn’t have to get up for work anymore. The days of traditional working were long behind him now; it had almost been an entire year since he’d had a legitimate job, and he was happier than he’d ever been. He could barely open his eyes, but he was able to read the numbers on the clock next to his bed. 7:05. PM. The memories of obeying alarm clocks and rushing to work were annoying to him, so he stayed tucked in bed for a little bit more, thanks, simply, to the fact that he could.

Outside the sun was barely visible over the horizon beyond the city, and the sunlight barely showed through the crowded buildings of Manhattan Island. The street lights were just turning on, and most cars had their headlights illuminated already. Some businesses were closing for the day while the numerous bars and clubs were preparing for the usually long night ahead. The tall buildings in the business sector had gone dark, but a few still had scattered lights on, due to the busy workers who had deadlines to meet. A few blocks away from those high-rise structures was Jason’s apartment building, right in the middle of 46th St. It was 10 stories high, and had recently been repainted a dark green color. Inside the building the smell of multiple dinners roamed down the halls. It seemed to create a fusion of smells, the collection of which seeped into room 617. The aromas danced across the living room and into the bedroom where Jason was sleeping. His stomach growled, and, as lazy and as tired as he was, he knew there was no way he could fall back to sleep, no matter how hard he tried. He swung his legs over the side of the bed in a swift motion and sat upright on the edge of the bed.

What the hell are people thinkin’ wakin’ me up at seven. Inconsiderate bastards. He grumbled to himself as he lumbered over to the bathroom disregarding the clothes on the floor from the previous day. Splashing cold water on his face brought him to full consciousness and his eyes were now open. He stared at the mirror for a second. He observed his short blonde hair, which started to turn brownish during the winter season for some reason. He had broad shoulders and a medium-sized torso. His muscle definition showed through a decent amount for someone who sat a card table all night and slept all day. He didn’t work out and barely exercised, and he hadn’t been eating healthy either. But if he had internal health problems, you wouldn’t know it by looking at him from the outside. He stood at a modest six-foot tall, and was a handsome guy. Most women, his age or not, were almost always immediately attracted to him. Jason was a simple guy, though, and hated the idea of bothering with restrictive girlfriends. If he had ever met a woman who was free-willed and easy going, he hadn’t remembered it. Oh well, one day.

He snapped out of his trance and grabbed a towel to wipe off his wet face. After slipping into some sweat pants he made his way to the kitchen and swung open the refrigerator door. Ketchup, cheese slices, orange juice, Mountain Dew, and Red Bull. Mostly empty, as usual; he’d have to grab some food before he went to the Chesterfield. He snatched a Red Bull and opened it up as he walked back to his bathroom, where he took a shower.
Ten minutes later he got dressed, slipped on some shoes, threw on a baseball cap, put on his heavy coat, and hastily took off towards the door. It never got old for him, the feeling of excitement. Playing cards had always psyched him up in a way that nothing else did, and even after playing professionally for almost a year now he still felt the same way about it. As he was about to step into the hallway he doubled back to the kitchen. He grabbed a wad of twenty- and hundred-dollar bills off of the kitchen counter, peeling nine hundred dollars from it. He pocketed the rest of the wad and threw the nine hundred bucks back on the countertop to leave behind for the previous night’s profits. He would add it to his bankroll stash when he got back from tonight’s session. But for now there was no time to waste; it was Friday night!

As Jason was locking his door, his neighbor from the room across his was just coming home. She was a young woman with a petite figure and long brown hair. At the moment it had been in a ponytail, and her bangs were hanging over one side of her face. She was wearing fashionably ripped light-toned jeans, as did many women her age, and a grey, woven sweatshirt. She had a scarf around her neck and was wearing a long, black coat over it all.

“Hey Jason,” she said.

“Hey Steph. How are ya’?” he replied, without turning around from his lock.

“Same ol’ me. You?”

“Same,” Jason stated with a smile as he turned to go down the hallway. “Good night,” he was already headed towards the elevator.

“K. See ya …” Stephanie curiously watched him as he scurried off down the hall. She often wondered what he did, as a living, as a hobby. No one in the adjacent rooms seemed to know Jay’s occupation. He was always very nice, but he had never talked to anyone about his personal life. Oh well. She thought nothing more of it as she retired into her room for the night.

Jason exited the building on W 46th St. and started down the street. He stopped at a little Chinese food place he’d grown to love. He ordered some food and sat at a table near the window facing the street. As he stared out towards the street, he was thinking about tonight’s game, and about how Jim Berr was going to be there. He’d originally picked up the nickname Bear because of the similarity of his name to the word. Irony had it that he was also a grizzly guy, standing well over six feet and dawning a full beard. But despite both his name and his appearance, Jay usually referred to Jim as a fish, since he was usually the live one at the table, and Jay could count on him for many “donations.”

Bear had his own construction company, and usually came pretty heavily loaded on Fridays. His business had picked up after the September 11th attacks, and since he had more money than he was used to having, he consistently tried to play limits he probably shouldn’t have been playing. He rarely played optimum strategy, and rarely won. However, when he was lucky on some nights, he was extremely lucky. He could win thousands of dollars in one night, as opposed to the thousands he usually lost. After all, the forgotten percentages had to catch up sometime, right? His spotted successes at the 20-40 had kept him coming back to that game, and throughout Jay’s playing time at the Chesterfield so far it had kept Jay’s bankroll pretty steadily supplied.

Jason realized that he wasn’t even hungry. He tossed his food in the trash can and took off towards his “office,” in which building resided his old office as well.


From here Chapter 1 starts off explaining his life before his switch to professional poker player. I already have some more of the later story written, when he gets to the Chesterfield. It takes place around the time when Mike McDermott (yes I know, flame away if you want) gets busted at Teddy's place, and he's at KGB's when it happens. Then it intertwines with Mike again later in the story, but in no way is supposed to be part of the Rounders story.

Tell me what you think. Tell me what you like and what you think is stupid. I want to see my comment box full of fellow bloggers and anonymous comments. I know you guys from CT are out there reading......

Updates

Updates! Coming soon to a monitor near you!

Sorry I haven't written for a while like I said I would, don't lose faith. I don't have time to write right now, but I'm working on a long update. If you all wanna check back tonight I'll be posting up a snippet of a short story I started to write, to hold you guys over until my update is complete.