Memorial Weekend Pt. 2

We ended up driving for a little over two hours, to where I'm still not sure. We ended up in the middle of nowhere after driving past hours of fields as we pulled up to a smallish country town. We passed through a winding neighborhood before finally pulling up to our destination, where we found out that there would 16 players, none of whom were under 35 years of age.

I didn't know what to expect going in to this thing, but I found out that these folks had a game three out of four weekends a month, so although they were no doubt going to be bad players, at least the game seemed like it was going to run smoothly. The payout was kind of lopsided; with a $25 buy-in, a player would receive $5 every time he knocked someone out, while the placed payouts were 1st-$25o 2nd-$50 and 3rd-$20.

The people were nice enough, and as I suspected the play was supremely weak. I ended up taking an early chiplead before plateauing and riding the shortstack from seven players down to the final three, where Mitchell and myself tangoed with one of the game's regulars. With the blinds and stacks allowing a lot of play, I was able to edge my way back into the game, eventually capturing the chiplead and overtaking the shortstacked third player. Despite having the chiplead and having Mitch outskilled, he and I chopped for $155 each, and the two "kids" took the majority of the loot.

After we helped clean up the table and chips, we took off into the darkness of the night without clear direction of where we were going. We ended up getting lost in the country town for about half an hour before we finally found a lit road and a building. From there we got a map online using Mitch's phone, and we were eventually able to find our way back to the highway.

I didn't end up getting back into Santa Barbara until about 5:30AM on Sunday morning. Sunday I took my usual Sunday Taco Bell trip, and had some stuff to take care of around the apartment, as I had plans to hang out with a friend later that night. We went to dinner, and there ended up being a few of us back at our apartment. Monday was Memorial Day, therefore Sunday was Alcohol Night.

I drank a bit too much, and a bit of the wrong mixture of alcohol, and ended up having a rough morning. I found out early Monday morning that my phone was no longer working, and as it turned out it was because it had been dropped into a deep glass of a vodka drink hours before. I was pretty pissed, as the phone was the best cell phone I had yet to own.

Considering the Verizon store was closed, I decided to have a "Hangover Monday" and laid in bed most of the day, finishing the second season of The Office on DVD. I took a quick trip out to get food, but didn't leave my bed for most of the day aside from two showers.

For the entire day and night of Tuesday, I was in deep mental debate about what to do about my phone. Verizon has been dicking me on my bills lately, and honestly I've never truly been happy with their service. VCAST is a pain in the ass, and everything that Verizon says you can do with their plans, I haven't witnessed personally.

Being in a state of anger due to my past six months (out of six years) with my current plan, I put heavy thought into switching over to Cingular and getting the Samsung Blackjack, Cingular's prided PDA/Smart Phone. I would end up getting a discount on the phone for signing a contract with Cingular, however I'd have to pay a cancellation fee in the amount of $175 to cancel my remaining year in contract with Verizon.

I asked around a lot about service/phones/billing for Cingular, and was almost convinced I going to switch over before I went out and made an impulse this morning. I walked into the Verizon store and almost immediately ended up buying the black Motorola Q. I was able to talk over the added features as well as my current plan with the sales guy there, and actually ended up with a plan modification that pleased me, as well as allowed me to use all of the features on my new smart phone.

My new setup allows me to access the internet directly, manage my stuff using the Windows Mobile system, and bypass all the horribly annoying VCAST programming. Although it does cost me considerably more per billing cycle to be able to have all of the new bells and whistles, I'm positive that it will make me a happier consumer. Go consumer America!

Until next time.

Memorial Weekend Pt. 1

This weekend was made long by the generous offer to release us from the office on Monday, Memorial Day. It started late on Friday night, and thanks to a harsh Sunday night pretty much ended on...Sunday night.

On Friday night, John's last night out from New York, we chilled at my apartment and just hung out like we used to do. We hit up CPK at about 10 o'clock before John mentioned that he wanted to hit up Chumash for his last night out.

After dinner I gave him a brief blackjack refresher course as we waited for Mitchell to get out of Pirates 3, as he stated some interest. After waiting for a couple hours he ended up not wanting to go, so at around 1AM John and I took to the road. I wasn't planning on playing at all, but on the way up there I knew I couldn't just let him play by himself. I had to...it was the uhhh....brotherly thing to do.

I only put out $60, as my financial situation isn't what it should be. I ended up winning $100 after a couple shoes, and John finished up dead even. He dropped a little bit to some video slots while I watched and laughed. We left and he was happy with the trip. I came up $100 to help cover some of the $110 it cost me in gas for all the driving to LA and back and forth to Chumash, so that was nice.

Now I know that I keep complaining about being in financial disarray, but I'm finally starting to get back on my feet. I fell into a couple gambling-related relapses in the past year, which is obviously my fault. But I feel pretty good about the way my life's going at this point and shouldn't really get back to the point that I feel like I NEED to gamble in order to be happy. This time around it was a completely different reason for gambling, and it really was about hangin out with my brother on his birthday, as opposed to some uncontrollable urge.

On Sunday morning I took him to Bob Hope and off he went. Then I got lost in LA for half an hour thanks to some onramp construction they were doing on the 134. LA's always a fun place to get lost in anyways, so it didn't bother me.

On the way back to Santa Barbara I decided to stop and have lunch in Ventura. I met up with Mitch and we headed over to Fry's to check out TV's. After a brief look around the wonderful world of tech, I decided to keep my eye on the Samsung LN-T4042H to put in my bedroom.


While I was shopping around, I was deciding whether I wanted to go big, or go huge. I really didn't want to take the $3000 plunge to get a TV for the living room, since my roommates don't take care of my stuff that I've currently made communal, and I surely don't want them ruining a crazily awesome TV. I decided that a 36"-42" TV would be best for my bedroom, as I'll probably wall mount it. Plus, with a $1300 price tag, LCDs Plasmas and DLPs are all lookin pretty affordable nowadays. I figure I'll wait another couple months to finish paying off this laptop before I take on another monthly payment.

As Mitchell took to the DVD section, I decided to finally resume my DVD buying. There's quite a few things on my list, and quite a few things will still wait. I decided that buying one thing after a long break wasn't so bad, so I got my feet wet again by buying The Office, Season Two, which was well worth the purchase. If you haven't seen this show and you're lookin for something funny and catching to watch, I'd highly suggest this show. The first season was an almost direct takeoff of the original British series, however in the second season you really get the feel for the American take and the writers really put a lot into the second season. With the finale' of the third season having just recently aired, it looks like I'll have to wait until September to buy the latest DVD installment.

After leaving Fry's, we met a few more friends for lunch at this little Mexican place before Mitch convinced me to take on a Saturday night adventure. He had previously mentioned that he was going to a poker game/BBQ with a friend of his from work, who I had previously met at a poker game. I immediately noticed that he had no idea what he was doing when it came to hold'em, and was obviously used to playing house games with house rules on his own terms. In the one game that we had played together he did nothing but complain about having to double a bet when raised, betting at least the BB when first to bet, and a couple other standard rules of poker.

When Mitch had mentioned it earlier, he said it was this guy's brother, and not only was it a "tournament cash-game" (???), but it was two hours up north. It didn't sound appetizing to say the least, and I had already determined that I was definitely not going prior to arriving in Ventura. However, for no particular reason at the last minute I decided to go. My decision was mostly made because I really didn't want to return to my hellish roommates, and also I hadn't really done anything or gone anywhere since our last Vegas excursion.

I ended up saying yes, and an adventure was about to begin.

Bayside

Lately I haven't been able to tear myself away from Bayside's newest CD, The Walking Wounded. Their old stuff was pretty good, but I think this new CD really brought out a new, higher step to their musical essence. If you want to check out a snippet of their stuff, click here.

I have a pretty busy day at work today and have some stuff to do today after work before my brother leaves back to New York tomorrow. If I don't get around to writing today or tomorrow, then Sunday I'll have somethin for you all, so hang tight.

Until next time.

Lies for the Liars

Yesterday was the release of the new CD from the Used, titled Lies for the Liars. I picked it up and goddammit is it good!

The Used has been one of my favorite bands for a few years now, and when I went to see them at Long Beach a couple months ago it was amazing. I had seen them before, but with them headlining the Taste of Chaos this year, they sounded perfect.

While at the Long Beach arena they played a few of their new songs, and while they sounded amazing live I knew I'd have to wait a while for the CD to come out so I could listen to the new stuff all the time.

The new CD definitely puts out a different style than the other two, but they did a really good job with coming up with the new sounds and songs. If you're a fan of the Used, definitely go out and pick this thing up.

Last night I went to pick up John from Burbank, as he'll be staying with me for the next four days. While I was out there I stopped by Darsky's to hang out, and we went for a burger down at Gordon Biersch. Sooooo gooooooddddd. And if you read that as "so god", it's just about right.

Anyways, I'll be busy hangin with John all week so we'll see how the bloggin goes.

Until next time.

Good Instincts or Too Aggressive?

I went down to Chumash last Wednesday to play the $2-5NL $200 max buy-in and came out loser, putting me down for the last two out of three sessions. I played my usual Chumash shortstack game before coming up on another hand that I played abnormally for my style.

The table was full and included your usual mix: one old guy who we saw check the nuts behind three times, a middle-aged regular who likes to gamble, and a young 18-year-old internet player. The rest of them were okay players who weren't doing much.

Here's the setup for the hand

1-Seat - Regular who I've noticed likes to gamble. Seems to get lucky a lot, but mostly because he gets in the worst hand so many times.
2-Seat - me
3-Seat - Younger internet player. Thought he was a lot better than he was, and was one of those who leaned over to me to complain about how bad the table was. He liked to take a lot of flops with suited connectors and 3-gappers, and was very aggressive postflop.

3-Seat had built up to around $650, I was on $560, and the third player in this act, 1-Seat was on around $370.

Button is on 7-Seat.

Preflop: Dealt to Hero(Ad Qh)
1-Seat limps.
Hero raises $15 to $20.
3-Seat calls $20.
Folds around.
1-Seat calls $20.


Flop: [As Js 8h]
1-Seat checks.
Hero bets $60.
3-Seat calls $60.
1-Seat calls $60.

Right here 3-Seat called off pretty quickly, which I didn't know what to make of, and 1-Seat looked at his cards before tossing in the call. I wasn't sure if 3-Seat was slowplaying something, but from how aggressive he was with his missed flops earlier and how his image was, I figured he'd hit a piece of the flop but not too hard.


Turn: [As Js 8h 7d]
1-Seat checks.
Hero checks.

Now usually I'd fire out right here and see where the other two are at, but this time I figured I'd check and find out where 3-Seat was. If he bet around the pot, I would have guessed that he was loaded. I put 1-Seat on a flush draw because of the way he called off last time, and if 3-Seat ended up checking and we saw a river for free, I'd have no problem reassessing the situation. With my aggressive style here, I usually would bet around the pot in this situation. Thoughts on a pot bet on the turn here?

3-Seat bets $100.
1-Seat calls $100.

With $245 now in the pot, $100 seems a bit weak from the aggressive 3-Seat. With such a draw heavy board and a gambl0r in 1-Seat in the pot, I'm sure with a big hand 3-Seat would've bet around $200. Before calling off the $100, 1-Seat had checked his cards twice before throwing his stack in with a careless laugh. At this point I'm 100% positive that 1-Seat has a flush draw. As for the 3-Seat, I was thinking probably a weak ace. If I push here I figure 1-Seat for a fold and 3-Seat for a call for his remaining chips on a gamble. If I get instacalled by 3-Seat then I know I'm in trouble, but I'm trusting my instincts here.

Hero raises $280 to $380 and is all-in.
3-Seat folds.
1-Seat calls $190 and is all-in.
Hero is returned $190.


River: [As Js 8h 7d 7h]
1-Seat shows (Ks 7s) for three of a kind sevens.
Hero shows (Ad Qh) for a pair of Aces.

1-Seat wins the pot of $925.



3-Seat to my left had grown pretty fond of talking to me, and winced when the 7 peeled off. He told me he had folded A-10 s00000ted. Obviously 1-Seat had the flush draw and, as fate would have it...again, he won the hand.

I could've played this hand differently, but if I did it wouldn't have made it onto this blog. I decided to mix it up this time around to try to find out a different way to read 3-Seat, and for the purpose that I did it it worked. Like I stated, I usually bet the turn here, but even after the turn check I think the push was okay. Unfortunately I got smacked on the river again, and my instincts got blown to bits by another river card.

At the end of the session, I was a loser again for the second session in a row, making me loser two for three.

Today I'm going to pick my brother up from the airport, as he's flying in from New York. He'll be staying with me until Saturday, and hangin with him should be a good time. Hopefully hangin out with him will get my mind off of all this losing I'm doing lately.

Until next time.

Please Hold

We have Paul's game tonight, and I also took a trip down to Chumash on Wednesday night. I'll have some content for you all tomorrow.

Reviewing Reviews

For clarification purposes (so I don't look like a moron), I'd like to point out that the hand recall I posted yesterday does not fall into my regular range of play. The way I normally play is already formed out of years of playing and previous revision, so most of the hands I'll post are hands that are out of the ordinary.

Obviously, the negative feedback that I receive on such hands is positive affirmation of why certain elements of play have no regular spot in my arsenal. The positive comments about certain aspects allow me to apply that to other hands in specific scenarios in the future. I'm a strong believer that changing up plays and finding out certain maneuvers in the game are what make you a better player, and every time you find something new is another step closer to becoming a great player.

In that specific hand, there were plenty of reasons I made the plays I did. Obviously, if it weren't a $1/2NL game it would've run a bit differently than it did. But even in that exact scenario I was changing up play to try something new. On the river in that spot I will usually check every time. But rest assured that the idea of not betting without +EV was an idea learned by me early, and is instinctual at this point.

Brando - I agree with everything you put in the comment box on that hand. On that river I check every time, except for this one hand when I decided to "see what happens". I don't usually do that, and we're on the same page of thinking there. I appreciate your feedback and any strat you're willing to talk, because I find you to be a great player, and if the things that you're saying are the things that I'm thinking then I guess I'll do just fine when I start playin regularly again :)

Another hand that unfolded very strangely in that same session (damn $1/2NL....I swear these people confuse me) came up right after I got hit by the inside straights twice in a matter of minutes to felt me. I rebought for $200 and quickly called off a couple missed flush draws, putting out a pretty steamy image pretty quickly after my rebuy.

Then a strange-ish hand came up. I'm not sure on the exact details, but I'm pretty sure this was close. Darsky may chime in if something is horribly wrong in my recap, as he was standing right there. Again, here's the setting:
1-seat - me
2-seat - Very loose and a huge non-believer. Overplayed all of his hands and chased out of his mind. Bought in for the full $500 and down to about $300.
5-seat - Very quiet, mellow player. He didn't say a word except for "nice hand" and seemed to be playing tight-ish preflop and made some loose calls postflop. His betting patterns were aggressive when he had it, check/call when he didn't.

5-seat was the one who caught on me the second time around. He now had about $350 in front of him. I was sittin on about $170 with the 2-seat still on around $300.

I posted the BB, 2-seat limped UTG and 5-seat popped it to $15 from mid position. It folded around to me and I looked down at 5s-6s. I sprung two more redbirds into the pot and 2-seat followed me with a call.

Flop: 5c-5d-Ah.

BBBOOOMMM. I check, as did 2-seat before 5-seat fired right out with $20. I looked to my left to see the eager beaver behind me with four chips in his hand ready to call. Figuring 2-seat loved to call everything that was sent his way, and the fact that I was positive the tightish 5-seat would fire again on the turn, I opted for a flat call now and a check again on the turn. I called off as did our buddy behind me.

Turn: 6c

The prettiest card I could've seen peeled off. I followed through with my plan to check, and 2-seat checked once again as 5-seat came out with $45. Out of the corner of my eye I once again saw 2-seat impatiently count out and set aside nine chips for the call. Here I didn't know if I should slow down and let him in, or push it in against the both of them. I didn't really have a range on 2-seat because of the fact that he played everything. It was possible for him to have A-10 as much as it was for him to have 4-4.

I decided to call off one more time and open shove the rest of my $90-ish into the two players behind in a decent-sized pot. The stop and go is not a commonly used play by me, but I figured it to get the most out of 2-seat. Also, I figured that with my stack size compared to the pot and based on the play I'd seen at the table to this point, if they both had a big Ace I might get a call from both on the river and triple up.

River: Qc

I pushed my remaining stack out. 2-seat squiggled around in his seat for a second, asking "aww man did you hit that running clubs?", and "aaawwww come onnn....". He eventually folded after a bit of hesitation, and then 5-seat hit the tank.

Now that 2-seat dropped out I was pretty sure 5-seat was comin in. He also debated for a little bit while counting out the call. He messed with his chips and finally pushed them in with a bit of doubt on his face. I flipped over the boat and he nodded his head in acceptance. "Nice hand."

Ship it to me the moniez.

2-seat laughed and said that he laid down A-10 as I scooped the pot. Minutes later I would bust him for his last $46 with my AK soooted against his 10-10. He left with a huff.

Darsky was done with his session and we left pretty shortly after that. I came back from the earlier loss and cashed out up $160 before heading over to and getting sucked out on at the MGM $2-5NL for around $800.

Again, comments on the hand are much appreciated. Keep in mind the stakes. If it were a higher game the play would probably be transparent, but as it was it played out with maximum profit for me.

Until next time.

Goddammit Anyways - A Visa Virtual Giftcard Story

Being as how I'm in the playing mood lately, I figured I'd try to throw a hundo online and mess around a little bit. I didn't know what I was planning on playing, probably just small $10 private tournies or some small games on FT or somethin. I didn't really care, honestly. I just wanted to play and I wanted to play right then.

Last time I threw money online, since my debit card never worked and since mostly all the hassle-free sites stopped serving the US, I decided to try the Visa giftcards. I tried using the ones they offered online, a virtual giftcard, instead of going to a store to physically purchase one. The site had said that the Vcards didn't work at online gambling venues, but there were various
reports that they did in fact work at Full Tilt and Poker Stars. I loaded one up, and sure enough it worked.

I tried doin that yesterday and it appears that that form of payment processing no longer works. Now, I'm stuck with a hunred bucks on a virtual giftcard that I can't cancel, and that I'd have to pay a service fee for if I wanted to get a physical Visa giftcard in exchange for it.

This isn't really a huge beat for me since I enjoy buying stuff from online anyways, but what I really wanted to do was play a little bit, and now I can't even do that without jumpin across a bunch of e-bridges to get to where I wanna be. Thanks a lot you goddamn UIGEA.

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Anyways, I was going to make this post mainly about hand reviews, but I honestly haven't played in a while to have anything review worthy. I have a couple from the $1/3NL game at Caesar's, but other than that I now realize that there's not been enough play to really post much up here.

In any case, here's a couple hands.

Game is the $1/3NL at Caesar's. The games are soooo soft and the players are meh. Player in the 4-seat is the only decent player at the table and he's sitting on around $800 and growing. Everyone else seems to be very fishy and probably what one would expect at a $1/3 table. The main players here are gonna be:

1-seat - me
2-seat - Very loose and a huge non-believer. Overplayed all of his hands and chased out of his mind. Bought in for the full $500 and down to about $300.
5-seat - Very quiet, mellow player. He didn't say a word except for "nice hand" and seemed to be playing tight-ish preflop and made a lot of loose calls postflop.
9-seat - New to the table. I saw him call down draws with no odds as well as middle pair/underpair a couple times to the river. I also saw him call ridiculousness to the turn and river and bet when he hit. Bought in for $500, sitting on around $700.

At this point I had bought in for $100 and coming up on two hours I was up to around $380. I had been playing pretty solid, taking down a lot of pots with no showdown, and at the same time showing down only winners to the river.

Button is on the 4-seat and it folds to the 9-seat who limps for $3. I sense folds back around to the blinds so I pop it to my regular $10 with the Kc3c (pinch pinch, insert krablar dance here). Everyone folds back around to the 9-seat who calls off the $7 more.

Flop: Qd-Jh-5h.

9-seat checks and I fire out with a cbet, hoping to take it down with my winning image. The $20 gets called and we head to the turn.

Turn: Ks

9-seat checks again and now I gotta figure his range here. I don't put him on a made hand just yet. K-10 is possible, but I figure if he hits the King with the straight draw on the turn he's betting at me. I put him on either the Jack or the heart draw. I bet out $60 behind him and he thinks for a second and calls. Watching him play up to this point, he called pretty quickly with his draws and hesitatingly with his weaker pairs. At this point I put him on the Jack because of the pause.

River: 10x

The heart misses and he checks to me again. I think this may actually be a good card for me, as my image is tight and the Ace-out might make him lay down a better hand should he have one. At this point I'd rather him fold obv, but I'm ok with my read if he calls. I cut down a hundred stack and he thinks for a minute...and then minraises another $100.

FUOIWU(*)@$U@)(%IJOOSF()%@%. Dammit...I hem and haw for a second to showboat, even though I'm not puttin another dollar into this pot. I'm pretty pissed at myself for gettin into this situation in the first place, but for the first part of the hand I felt like I had the right line.

I let it go and he shows me A-7 offsuit for the rivered straight. I knew he was a huuuge moron, but didn't think it out to that extent. He scooped the pot and I was visibly pissed at the calldown. At that point I just dumped off a tiny bit more than half my stack that I had just spent an hour and half building, and was pretty stunned at how horrible the $1/2NL is.

I couldn't figure out how to really feel after that one. I read him as weak and played my hand accordingly, although it was a crap hand to get in with anyways. I knew he was a caller, so whether or not I should've tangled is definitely questionable. But there was multiple ways that I thought I could've won that hand and it definitely didn't work out.

About two hands later I get the rest of my stack in against 5-seat with AsQs on a 8-9-10-J board. I bet the flop of 8-9-10 and he called. The Jack hit and we got it all in. I knew before his cards were even turned over that he had KQ.

gg me, I go for the reload


I had a pretty big hand that got me back in the black after the reload, which I'll post up tomorrow. I know it has a lot to do with personal reads, and it's difficult to judge a live hand vs. an online hand, but let me know what you think about that K3 hand. There'll be more tomorrow.

Getting Back To My Playing Days

One of the things that's really got me slumped right now is the fact that I can't play cards. It was always the one thing to settle my mind, and back when I was playin heavily I was doin alright.

Goin on week-long $4K rushes at a $200 cap buy-in game was fun, but through frivolous spending, loaning, bad play, blackjack, and...sushi...the rushes came and went just as fast. That meant that whenever I was having a losing day or week, or going through a $1500 downswing, my bankroll was never around to support me. I know that I've written about BR problems before, but I'm gonna go into a little bit more detail this time around.

The reason that I always spent so much when I had it is that I never played with a bankroll. From back when I was in college, working part-time and having small amounts of cash on me, to the times when I moved close to Chumash to play the $200 capped $2-5NL, I've never run with a bankroll.

For the most part it was because I never had extra cash to turn into a bankroll. The money I was playing with was living money. It was rent, bills, and food money, all while working crap jobs (or for crap pay anyways). I was good enough of a player to keep my head above water when payment time came around, and in my mind I knew I was better than that. I should have been rolling, I should have been building and expanding.

After I tried to screw my head on straight and buckle down, of course I started a massive losing streak. All the money I had went down the drain to turns and rivers bred from the depths of Hell, and my play started to get sloppy. Then it turned into me not even wanting to play because of all the money I had lost when I was only making $10/hr working.

I decided to take a little time off for multiple reasons. I really went into deep thought about my game, and discussing it on multiple levels with a few different people. It was obvious that I was better than I had playing, and if it weren't for my horrible bankroll management I might've been able to use the mental regeneration at that point to turn myself into something.

As it were, I was broke and in definite need of rebuilding. When I started reading about how massive people were making it playing online, I decided to start up a little quest playing SnG's and $5-10 on Ultimate Bet. With a goal and a promise in mind, Sitting The Apple was born.

I was keeping pretty strong notes, tallies, and records. Most of what happened in that short amount of time was chronicled in this blog. I started out pretty strong, and then came the beating. I started getting hit with the most ridiculous shit and couldn't even keep my eyes open to watch anymore.

I can honestly say that it was during this downswing that I've ever been nearly as close to destroying my personal possessions then I've ever become. I was a mental mess. I was trying to prove to myself and everyone else that doubted me that I could do it and that I could make it in the poker world. All the while the misfortune of bad luck was working in every way possible against me.

The one thing that came out of that time period that I'm actually grateful for is that I really learned to conquer my poker-related emotions (...for the most part). I knew then that no matter how pissed or upset I got over all the bad beats or bad play, it wasn't gonna bring my money back. The only way to do that was to move on and play through the variance.

As odd as it sounds, I actually got better during the time that I wasn't playing.

Luckily for me, Darsky was willing to back me for a little bit, and help me through what turned out to be the most mentally rough time I've had in my personal life. During that time we were able to put together some good runs, usually with good results for the both of us. I was playing a little more and playing well, and I was winning money for both of us.

As it turned out, however, whenever I tried to play my own cash or play from the winnings I was keeping from Darren's stake, I was losing. I was still making no money at all working, and went back to losing with my own cash. There was a lot of times I thought about quitting poker altogether, but I couldn't get the thought out of my mind that I could be such a good player.

Now let's fast forward to recent months, as I continue my streak of busto. In December, after another break, I decided to pick up some cash and hit Vegas. LOST.

Again in January. LOST.

Goddammit, it just seems like I'll never get on my feet. But...

After taking a few months off again, and thinking over and over again about my game and about the game in general, I'm right where I need to be. Most of what I thought about during this most recent break is that I'm not going back to where I was. I was never set in my thinking and was always thinking ups and downs. But now that my life is more stabilized I know I can beat the game.

Most of all I thought about all the times I've had to take off and think about stuff. I think I'm finally in my game and now I just need one more chance to prove it. I have no cash...again. Even though I'm more set financially I haven't had a chance to save for a BR because personal stuff keeps coming up (car, household needs, etc.). I'll be taking off to New York to visit my parents in the upcoming months, so I'll be saving most of my money for that.

If I could somehow get a bank going, I know I'd be off to the races. My last trip to Vegas ended with a harsh five-outer at the $2-5NL game at the MGM. I had built up playing $1-2NL at Caesar's, and put my built stack from the one session at the $2-5NL at the MGM. I got my stack in with QQ against a soft table and A-7 on a 4-5-7 board. An Ace on the turn ended my playing for that trip, and now it's only a matter of time until I'm back in the game.

Coming up I'm gonna be running through a couple hands and some analysis, and can hopefully pick up some insight from some of you readers out there *cough*BRANDO*cough*.

Until next time.

The Regular Realization of the Work Tarp

After a horribly boring Wednesday through Friday, Friday night did not fail to deliver. I made plans with a chick friend to go out for dinner, drinks, etc. She had school on Saturday morning, so she couldn't drink a lot, but I had no such restrictions and I was determined to erase some of the most boring days I'd experienced in a while.

I headed downtown at around 6PM to meet up with a couple people who were drinking where one of our friends was bartending that evening. I wasn't meeting for dinner until around 8, so I had a little bit of time to hang out and take care of a few beers. When she showed up she sat for one drink before we took off to find food.

We ended up finding a nice Italian place, where we polished off a really good meal and a bottle of pinot noir. We had a great time, the atmosphere was super nice, and the $126 bill was well worth it. After that we hit up a pub for some more drinks and ended up staying until close.

She seemed to be having a great time, and for me it was definitely another great getaway from the daily, uninteresting grind at the office. Most days while I'm at work I just go through the motions. Come in, pound through six cups of coffee before 11 o'clock comes around, and start thinking about lunch. After lunch, I head back and wait for 4:30 to come around so I can get home.

The work I do is not hard, nor is it incredibly mind-draining. There's been a few times when I've actually had to use my brain, and in those few scarce times I actually enjoyed it. I enjoyed the mental challenge, and when no one else is smart enough to figure out solutions to the problems presented to the company, I like being the one that can help.

It's because of that that I have the position I do with this company, and why I'm seen as valuable to the higher ups. The downside of what I do is that when I'm not needed to do things that require skills/brains, all the menial tasks bore me beyond belief.

When I got back from Vegas last weekend, I felt awesome. Vegas is always nonstop fun, as evidenced by last weekend when I was up for 50 hours straight. Even when I return from Vegas, the thrill of the time spent there will keep my mind occupied for a couple days. Of course, after the memories dissipate I'm left to daydream about the next time I'll be able to head out there again.

Luckily for me, on Tuesday I was presented by a request from the big bossman to work on a project that could take months to accomplish. He was pretty blatant about the fact that he knew that nobody else in the small company could handle it, and that I was more qualified to take on the quest more than even he was. I know that the suits of companies have to talk up the valuable employees so that they'll stick around, and that's something I'll never forget. But even with that, I sure did feel like a badass at the end of the lunch meeting.

Even though I'm not getting paid a lot right now, I hear a lot of promise and have already seen a little bit of follow through. I'm making a decent amount for my age right now, and I feel like if I stick around for a while I could be making quite a bit at a pretty young age. That thought, coupled with the freedom I have working for a small business (leaving early, alcohol at lunch, etc. etc.) have kept me around this long already, and will probably keep me here for a while more.

For now, I'll put up with the monotony of the every day work, but I can only imagine how bored I'll be until something big happens.

Until next time.

OOPS!

I got caught up last night (alcohol) and never made it around to blogging. It's coming though!

Until then, here's a pic of Allison Stokke to hold you over

What Is This Feeling?

Oh, it's an update coming when I get home

Estefans: Getting Into the Game

#286 of 2500, Commemorative Gloria Estefan Caesar's Palace $5 Chip

Pictured above is not only a commemorative $5 gaming chip produced by Paulson and released by Caesar's Palace, but it is a goal. It is an idea. It is a game. It is a hope, and a wish.

Last time Darsky and I went to Vegas, we spent a little time in the Caesar's card room. While there I was forced by my affection for poker chips browse through the different commemorative chips I had in my stack. The ones I found ranged from "Grand Opening" to "Celine Dion" to "Gloria Estefan". As I had finished plucking through my chips I headed over to Dar's table to ask if had found any different ones.

As I neared his table I could see that him and Brandon were already feverishly tearing through their stacks. As I approached Brando let out an excited "hah!" as he held up a Gloria Estefan chip. I asked Darsky what was going on between the two of them, and he had told me that the hunt was on between the two of them to obtain the lowest numbered commemorative Estefan chip. Brandon had just found #0059, and he had proudly placed it atop his mountain of cheques.

The mission quickly spread throughout the entire table, as Darsky and Brandon had everyone at their table searching through their stacks to try to beat the current leader. By the end of the night, Darsky had managed to extract the #0059 from Brandon, and he had held the lead when we left the poker room that night.

I hadn't bothered to take any Estefans that night, both because I wasn't at their table, and because I busted. But as soon as I realized the severity of the challenge, I promised myself that whenever we went back I'd get in the hunt to compete with the other two playahs.

We were impressed for sure that night, both with the classiness of the poker room as well as with the atmosphere of the players. And although the location isn't optimal the room still gets decent action. We instantly put it on our list of places to play every time we went out to Sin City, and even though it felt like a short trip this time we made it over there again.

When we arrived, since I had no roll and barely any cash on me, I decided to sit in the $1-3NL game. There was a bunch of tables of different sizes running, and Vegas in general was extra full because of the fight at the MGM Grand Saturday night. I didn't have to wait too long to get a table.

I bought in for $100 and quickly turned that into around $380 before getting smacked by two back to back inside straight draws for my entire stack. This put me on ultra tilt and I went into a mental shell for a second before I rebought for $200 and quickly upped myself back to around $460 within twenty minutes. Once settled on some chips again, my brain calmed down and I realized that I hadn't even started looking for Estefans yet!

I quickly tore down my two towers to sniff out any Estefans, yet the only one I could find was a #1516/2500. Surely enough that wasn't even something I could show around the circle of competitors. Even though Brandon had already reported back a #0029 since our last departure, I felt that I could hold a position in the races if I could find anything within the #0300 mark.

Darsky had come over since he left his table, and him and I got into discussion as to what the number to beat was. The kid sitting across from me overheard our convo and he was soon looking through his $800+ to find some Estefans of his own. He ended up coming out with the #0286. I bargained with him and it was soon in my possession. I found a decent number to hold on to until next time we go back, where I'll be in major hunt mode.

We left Caesar's with me up $160, but that was the extend that my profits would see for the weekend. We headed over to the MGM while I decided if I should hit up the $1-2NL and have enough for a couple buy-ins, or if I should try to take advantage of the super soft $2-5NL games they had running, which would require putting my whole cash stash on the line.

I picked the latter, and found myself at one of the softest tables I had seen in quite a while. There was a bunch of guys drinking, and they were damn friendly. If the phrase "the nicer the guy, the worse the poker player" was ever true, it definitely applied to this table. I dropped a tiny bit with a couple missed flops before I picked up QQ in late position.

The friendly next to me check-raised me from the small blind on a flop of 4-5-7. I made my read and it didn't take long to get my stack in against A-7. An Ace on the turn felted me and I was done for the weekend. Mitch and JCruz came to pick me up and we headed over to Buffalo Wild Wings. At that point I hadn't slept for 37 hours, and hadn't eaten for 12. We ate like kings at that place, and after that Mitch and I headed back to the MGM to wait for Darsky to finish up so we could go hang out.

Darsky treated Mitch and I to a night of drinks after we were both completely cleaned out, and we had a hell of a good time on Saturday morning/Sunday night. The three of us ended our drinking parade at Planet Hollywood, where John works. We sat at the bar and Keno battled (as is tradition), and met a few fun people.

There was a smokin hot chick in the lounge, talking for forever with what looked like her parents. I kept checking her out, and after about a twenty-minute losing stretch at Keno, I decided to have my drunk self recruit her for my number-picking. As I approached them, the parents looked pretty shocked, but she had no hesitation to jump out of her chair to follow me to the video Keno machines.

The first round she picked for me, she hit a 4/7 and I was instantly shouting with joy. She was hesitant to stay for one more round, but she did again and hit for 3/7 spots. Again, I shouted with elation as I praised her infinite skill. I was definitely drunk, and I definitely made a big deal out of it to all those involved in the Keno battle.

I pleaded with her to stay, but as she laser-eyed her parents, a sad look came across her face and she insisted that she had to go. I looked over and saw her parents (now standing) with a stern/disappointed look on their faces, and I quickly asked her name. I'm pretty sure it was Christina, and as she picked up her purse to walk away I found out that she was only 17, hence the severity of her parents demands that she walk away.

OOPS.

We finished up and headed over to find John, who was dealing a $2-4 game in the poker room. The three of us sat down courtesy of Darsky, and I almost instantly started falling asleep at the table, thanks to the fact that I had been up for 50 hours straight by that point. I busted with A8 on a 6-7-8-8 board all in against 7-7, and I blanked the river.

After that I tried to fall asleep in about three different spots in the poker room while I waited for Mitch and Darsky to finish up, and for JCruz to finish his shift. I was rejected three times.

I finally pulled up a chair behind Dar, and dozed in and out while trying to keep awake for the next hour. I finally got some relief when Cruz finished his shift early, and I passed out for six hours at John's place before we headed home.

All in all, it was a weekend of fun and hanging out with John. A little cards were played (obviously), but moreso it was a hell of a getaway from the every day grind at the office, and I definitely need that. I also came away with an Estefan to get myself in the game, and you can bet your ass I'm gonna make a strong push for a good number when we go back in June.

Until next time.

Graduation Time or Casual Friday?

Graduation time is here, but not for me...

Had I been a good student and son and stayed in school, graduation time would be approaching me pretty quickly now. I would've already put in a couple years of hard work mixed with a lot of hard college partying weekends out in the Valley. My artistic prowess would be at an all-time greatness and my upcoming Bachelor's Degree in graphic design would be a welcome thought in my mind.

My years of working part-time for crap pay would eventually pay off as I entered into the world of the working force. With my newly acquired certification of knowledge I'd most likely try to get in with an advertising giant in LA, or perhaps travel to New York and hit up the Big City with the same intention. Obviously within years I would've been an experienced young 27-year-old with more ambition than money, but more experience than that guy who never went to college.

I can't really see far past that.

As it turned out in reality, I put in a semester of shitty schoolwork (except for English, which I dominated) and another half semester of falling asleep, both at home in bed and at school. I don't think I really want to remember my college life because it sucked so bad. I've always been a friendly, affable person who knows that he's capable of being the best at anything he does. This never happened for me in college.

Instead of sticking around my high-school town and going to the community college for a couple years with all the friends I had made, I left and headed for the San Fernando Valley in search of a closer living situation with my highschool sweetheart. I figured that if I had her and a place to sleep, I could conquer schooling and lead a fulfilling life. And oh how fucking wrong I was.

I was okay at first, but obviously the college experience started kicking in and Becca decided that she needed more out of college then just a boyfriend and her friends. She needed partying, alcohol, sex, drugs, and all the other fun stuff that would've been better without a solid relationship behind her.

Of course there's no blame to place, as most people experience this when they go to college. Freshman year is a crazy time, and whatever you experience in high school is multiplied by as many times as there are stars in the sky. She went her way with it, I went into a black hole.

I started to spend more hours working part-time than I did actually attending school, and had all of about four friends in my new hometown. My living situation was unbearable, and I felt like I wanted to get the hell out most nights. My driver's license had been suspended thanks to a bunch of sophomoric driving on my part during the summer prior to college, so I had no way to leave when I wanted to.

Basically, my college experience was rotten, except for poker. This was the time I started to play poker. I wanted to get away, and when I had people who were lookin to always go to the closest indian casino that accepted 18-20 year-olds you bet your ass I was goin with them. I started playin home games and a tiny bit of SnGs online to get my fix from time to time. I read a lot and even had some contact with a few professionals who had some words for me in regards to becoming a professional poker player.

It was poker playing that would eventually lead me to a better place. When I met Joe, he was introduced to me as a "poker-playing" boyfriend of one my closest friends from CSUN. We started playing together, he started playing our home game, and we started headin up to the nearest casinos to play for days at a day without sleep. We both totally immersed ourselves in the game.

I ended up getting a job offer with tremendous "potential" in Santa Barbara, where Joe and a pretty cool group of his friends were also attending UCSB. With a car now under me at this point and the nearest casino with a 14-table poker room being twenty-five minutes away instead of the previous hour and a half, along with the fact that I would be able to eat, sleep, and breathe poker, the decision was pretty clear-cut in my mind.

I ended up packing my stuff up almost immediately, and took a one-week grace period to stop going to CSUN altogether and to crash in Santa Barbara until I had to start work. That one week ended in a four-day poker bender, where Joe and I played cards to four days straight without showering or sleeping. We didn't leave the poker room other than to eat and shit, with one exception of a four-hour nap in the car on the fourth morning. Without a doubt we smelled like shit, but we were winning and having the time of our lives.

That was the last time I'd ever really feel like a true poker player. I started working, first in the warehouse like everyone else, where'd I'd stay making $10 an hour for a year. I eventually got bumped up into my position six months ago making $39k a year with promised promotions and raises. My first raise came to me last week.

So as I sit here typing this in the office with no hesitation or worries of being hounded by strict bosses, and as I sit here with a comfortable living and a settled mind knowing that the promises by the Man are coming to, I can't really grasp what I think about the whole thing.

I could have been in school this whole time, slacking and barely getting by on procrastination and laziness, only to TRY to get a job at a big agency upon graduation. But I didn't do any of that, I took the job. Now I'm here working a 9-5'er with salary, raises, lax rules, and boss who's willing to pay for me to go to school if and when I ever feel like it, in a town that's as beautiful as any you've ever seen.

For now it feels like a great plan, but will it really make me happy in the end? I suppose only time will tell...

Until next time.

Zen Zone

For the past couple weeks, as quiet as I've been, I've been trying to find my "Zen Zone". I've spent most of the past couple of years of my life living in a very unsubtle, unstable state. I had moments of extreme happiness, as well as a lot of moments of deep to mild depression. For the past couple of weeks, I've been level.

I've been working a lot, partying a little bit, but the biggest difference in it all has been my state of mind. Since I was put in a position to have to stop playing poker/gambling a couple months ago, my mind and my personality have really steadied out. I was never in a completely crazy state of mind, but most of my time the past couple years has been teetering between one extreme or the next.

I feel like it's because of that that my poker game suffered, and I went from a winning player to a complete losing player in a matter of a couple months. It got worse and worse until I forced myself to stop playing altogether. Now, with a fresh frame of mind I feel like I could start playing again without much consequence.

Now that I've been away from any serious game for so long, I feel like it's a great time to start playing again. The only problem is money! I have been working, but I've also been paying a lot towards bills, credit, and weekend fun. Santa Barbara is a great place, it's fun every day and every night, and it's on the beach. The sun is always shining, and even when it's not the town is so rich that people can pay the sun to show its face again. Because of all that, it's expensive as all hell to live here.

I did receive some great news last week, and it came in the form of a financial offer. My raise was presented to me, and although I don't know how much it is going to be exactly yet, it should help a lot. With the great news buzzing in my ear, I've been swinging from a calm mood to various levels of happiness.

Knowing that I won't have money to play for a little while, Mitch and I decided to hit up Vegas in June. I completely was absent-minded in that I didn't even think that the WSOP was going to be in town then. Of course, if I have enough money or if I can find a back, I'll be hoping to play one or two or five of the smaller buy-in events.

Ever since we made the plans last week I've been excited as a kid on Christmas Eve. While sitting at work, acting like a giggly little girl for plans that won't come to fruition for a month and a half, I had a great idea: Vegas....now!!

I hit up John yesterday, and made a few calls to get a crew together to hit up Vegas this weekend. We'll be crashing John's place and probably sleeping on the floor, and I doubt I'll play much, but it should be a hell of a fun weekend. There will be lots of drinking, minimal playing, a lot of relaxing in the humid Vegas heat. I'm sure we'll probably be playing some cards on some level, since three out of the four of us that will be there are poker players, but definitely not as much as any of us would like there to be. And sadly enough, there won't be for a while to come until I can get some solid funds under my feet.

Plans for the weekend definitely put alchohol before cards, but if I can get together a small stash of cash, I might put in a few hours at the $1/$2NL tables. Although it would've killed me a few months ago to even mention $1/$2, I definitely am in a great state of mind right now to play any size game and still crush whatever crowd I get presented with. Obviously I'll report how accurate that feeling is after the trip, but for now I feel like it'll be pretty true.

I keep telling myself (and my readers) that I'll post more, but I have yet to follow through on it. Now that I'm on an even keel, I'll probably be able to write with more enthusiasm and hopefully post more regularly than I have been doing the past couple months.

Zen is good.

Until next time.