Overheard On My Couch

"You know why you like blackjack so much? It fits the swings of your personality exactly."

True.

And So Ends...

...one of the most mentally tough weeks I've yet to have in my young life. On the plate this week were decisions of occupation, location, and determination. To this point I have yet to make any choices, but they are there to be made!

It's come to my attention recently that my current job is making me sad. It's making me bored, mad, and depressed. I'm not making any money, most of the time I have no work to do, and most of the time I'm there I daydream about what I could be doing instead and I constantly berate myself for not being in school.

One of the worst parts of the whole thing is that three and half years ago I only meant for my job to be a stepping stone. Unfortunately it became the #1 thing in my life and everything else disappeared. While it's true that it did get me out of the worst situation I'll admit to ever being in, I only meant for it to be a temporary rescue.

Now I'm so derailed from my original goals that I don't feel like I'll ever get back to where I thought I would be. What did I want to be doing? I wanted to be playing poker. I wanted to be graduating. I wanted to be doing something useful. I wanted to be instantly bettering my life so that I had a bright future ahead of me early, and in the process building myself something so awesome for the future that no one would have thought I could have done it.

And now, instead of the microwave wealth that I had so insistently believed in, I'm here in a dead-end job that won't stop promising me grand things for the future. I'm 22. I want it...NOW.

So taking all of this into account I'm strongly thinking about leaving this place when my lease ends in September. Where to...where to is the question. I could return to Ventura where my friends and my girlfriend are, where potential school futures lie if I want to drive out to CSUCI every day...where...mental normalcy lies?

Or there's the LA area...I don't know if I'd cut it out there though. I seem like a cool enough cat but I'm not sure that would suit me. Then again, I've never thought about it and I really have no idea how things go out there. Maybe I'm overthinking it.

Then on the other side of the map there's...need I say it...Vegas! Yes. Las Vegas, my golden land. I could just head out there and wing it! Crash some couches for a week or two, find a place, get a job. Maybe a dealer. Maybe a fuckin janitor. Maybe another office clerk, but in a place I would love more than anything to live in.

Of course if I did that I could play every day. My bills would be cut in half if I moved out there, and of course there's UNLV. I would love that. I would love to be able to play all the time, to get back into the game! Wouldn't I? Sure, until I sat at the table and lost my first buyin. Then it's back to Hell.

Ugh...of course Steph would die if we had to live in Vegas. I would live.

Whatever happens I still don't know what I truly WANT. I have no frickin clue what it is that I'm lookin for in life. I have ideas sometimes, but they leave my mind as soon as they come. I'm pretty sure I have ADD. I have no medical proof but


Hey I won playing blackjack today! $250 profit from a quick-decision $50 deposit.


And after all that it seems that at my ripe age of 22 I shouldn't have to face the decisions that I put on myself, but I can't help it. I don't know if I'll be bored if I'm either not worrying or celebrating something.

There was once a point that I was calm. I went to work, had a decent day, brought home a paycheck, and stayed inside not spending money and just layin around. That got boring quick.

There was once a point more recently that I thought I was an alcoholic. I went to work, had a balls-out shitty day, went to the bar, brought home a buzz, and stayed inside getting drunk until I passed out. That got boring quick. It was a drain on my wallet too.

And now here I am deciding what's next. I could go sky-diving. Does that cost money?? Damn!

I could...well shit no I couldn't everything costs money. Which brings me to the lesser worries of my week: finances...again.

I've always been good with my credit. Since the day I had my first $500 limit credit card in my freshman year at CSUN I've been good with my credit. In fact there were seldom times where I wouldn't pay off my cards in full. My car was the biggest purchase I had yet to make on credit when I was 20, and seeing as how the creditors saw fit to slap this first-time buyer with 9% APR I've been aware of just how badly interest bones you, the consumer, the borrower.

Because of my financial awareness I've paid my credit cards in full every month up until two months ago. With about half of my available credit in use because of frivolous spending (boredom-based obviously) my credit score has dropped to 731. That's not bad...but it's not what it was!! I want it perfect I want it all I want this I want


Damn I shouldn't have played those $100 hands, I could've cashed out for more...


that. But now I'm finding out that America's favorite past time is spending money one doesn't have. I now face an $1,100 purchase that I can't force myself to not make. It's not even important, this thing that I want, but I HAVE to have it. And why shouldn't I? I don't currently have the money obviously, or else there'd be no decision. But why not charge it and pay it off like most people do? What's a few credit points?

Being so young and without experience, I have no idea what a few credit points are worth. As far as I know 731 is sufficient for now, and in the current state of America's economy I'm assuming 731 is above and beyond what certain lenders are looking for. But I have no idea. I really want to buy this...

I'm always biased towards myself when it comes to making big purchases, because I know how much I've lost lifetime at gambling and how much stuff I could've bought with the money. Of course that doesn't bother me when I'm gambling. Why not? Who knows...ask a gambler. I'm not one.

I guess I could hit the BJ tables again and try to get that other $200 that I was up back...

I Don't Understand

Why people do this:

Full Tilt Poker Game #5834419458: Daily Double - A (43720589), Table 92 - 20/40 - No Limit Hold'em - 21:32:06 ET - 2008/03/29
Seat 1: cazoo (1,750)
Seat 2: Chuu Len 13 (4,200)
Seat 3: Emmanuel83211 (4,105)
Seat 4: corn013 (1,500)
Seat 5: John_Salami (965)
Seat 6: jstidwell (3,290)
Seat 7: MAUIMOON (2,495)
Seat 8: Kid Crash (5,175)
Seat 9: SyphonSoul (1,620)
jstidwell posts the small blind of 20
MAUIMOON posts the big blind of 40
The button is in seat #5
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Kid Crash [9d 9c]
Kid Crash raises to 140
SyphonSoul folds
cazoo calls 140
Chuu Len 13 folds
Emmanuel83211 calls 140
corn013 folds
John_Salami calls 140
jstidwell folds
MAUIMOON folds
*** FLOP *** [6h 8d 2s]
Kid Crash bets 400
cazoo folds
Emmanuel83211 folds
John_Salami raises to 825, and is all in
Kid Crash calls 425
John_Salami shows [4h 3h]
Kid Crash shows [9d 9c]
*** TURN *** [6h 8d 2s] [3s]
*** RIVER *** [6h 8d 2s 3s] [3c]
John_Salami shows three of a kind, Threes
Kid Crash shows two pair, Nines and Threes
John_Salami wins the pot (2,270) with three of a kind, Threes
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 2,270 | Rake 0
Board: [6h 8d 2s 3s 3c]
Seat 1: cazoo folded on the Flop
Seat 2: Chuu Len 13 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 3: Emmanuel83211 folded on the Flop
Seat 4: corn013 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 5: John_Salami (button) showed [4h 3h] and won (2,270) with three of a kind, Threes
Seat 6: jstidwell (small blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 7: MAUIMOON (big blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 8: Kid Crash showed [9d 9c] and lost with two pair, Nines and Threes
Seat 9: SyphonSoul didn't bet (folded)


Or why shit like this happens ALL THE TIME:

Full Tilt Poker Game #5835001729: Daily Double - A (43720589), Table 92 - 60/120 - No Limit Hold'em - 22:20:39 ET - 2008/03/29
Seat 1: cazoo (1,768)
Seat 2: Chuu Len 13 (4,225)
Seat 3: Emmanuel83211 (4,290), is sitting out
Seat 4: corn013 (3,980)
Seat 5: FullTilter20 (2,396)
Seat 6: jstidwell (710)
Seat 7: MAUIMOON (3,773)
Seat 8: Kid Crash (3,247)
Seat 9: SyphonSoul (3,771)
MAUIMOON posts the small blind of 60
Kid Crash posts the big blind of 120
The button is in seat #6
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Kid Crash [Ac Ad]
SyphonSoul has 15 seconds left to act
SyphonSoul raises to 247
Emmanuel83211 has returned
cazoo folds
Chuu Len 13 folds
Emmanuel83211 folds
corn013 folds
FullTilter20 calls 247
jstidwell folds
MAUIMOON folds
Kid Crash raises to 1,000
SyphonSoul raises to 3,771, and is all in
FullTilter20 folds
Kid Crash calls 2,247, and is all in
SyphonSoul shows [Jc Jh]
Kid Crash shows [Ac Ad]
Uncalled bet of 524 returned to SyphonSoul
*** FLOP *** [9c 8d 6d]
*** TURN *** [9c 8d 6d] [Js]
*** RIVER *** [9c 8d 6d Js] [8h]
SyphonSoul shows a full house, Jacks full of Eights
Kid Crash shows two pair, Aces and Eights
SyphonSoul wins the pot (6,801) with a full house, Jacks full of Eights
FullTilter20: wow i had a J
Kid Crash stands up
cazoo stands up
Chuu Len 13 stands up
Emmanuel83211 stands up
corn013 stands up
FullTilter20 stands up
jstidwell stands up
MAUIMOON stands up
SyphonSoul stands up
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 6,801 | Rake 0
Board: [9c 8d 6d Js 8h]
Seat 1: cazoo didn't bet (folded)
Seat 2: Chuu Len 13 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 3: Emmanuel83211 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 4: corn013 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 5: FullTilter20 folded before the Flop
Seat 6: jstidwell (button) didn't bet (folded)
Seat 7: MAUIMOON (small blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 8: Kid Crash (big blind) showed [Ac Ad] and lost with two pair, Aces and Eights
Seat 9: SyphonSoul showed [Jc Jh] and won (6,801) with a full house, Jacks full of Eights


And I can't help but laugh at this "FullTilter20: wow i had a J".

These are the reasons why I don't play on a serious basis anymore. There are so many things I can say about these two hands alone, let alone the swongs I faced in the Daily Double today, but it'll make my brain explode if I try to figure out why people play the way they do.

On the other hand...I sure do miss Vegas.

Sitting the Life

I've been thinking about starting another blog to link with Sitting the Apple and using StA for poker and gambling stuff from here on out, but considering my current and near future state of unplay, that doesn't really seem like a good idea for right now.

I miss being "in the game". I don't miss just playing poker, but being a gambler in the sense that every day my livelihood depended on or somewhat required that I gamble in some sense. Losing or winning hundreds of dollars a day when my paycheck was only hundreds of dollars itself was an exciting feeling.

Many people don't know what it's like to be a gambler. Maybe you call it addiction, maybe you call it a lifestyle. Obviously people view the two with complete conviction that they're individual belief on the subject is correct. There are many people nowadays, thanks to the poker boom and having gambling glorified by the media, that know the ups and downs of being a gambler too well. I started when I was 17.

Being a waiter and walking away with cash from tips every night meant that I had a paycheck behind to pay for my car and that I had enough cash to do what I wanted. I was privileged in the fact that I had more money than most of friends as a working junior. It's because of this that started me playing poker. On a regular basis I would leave form work, go home and change, and head to the Indian casino while I talked to my girlfriend on the phone. As far as she was concerned, I was laying in bed.

Gamblers hide the truth for many reasons. In current times young people hide the truth that they're winning money (for those that do win) for a living simply because people ask too many questions and offer advice on life when it wasn't asked for or appreciated in the first place. I hid it because I knew people would disapprove of a 17 year old gambling.

Lying also means that you're in it alone. You go sit at a table, buyin, and get a rack of chips and prepare yourself for the next few hours. For me it meant that I had three or four hours of play before the poker room went dead, and I'd have to return home just to fall asleep for a few hours before waking up late for school, or missing it altogether.

So I would play alone. I would make friends with those who would frequent the casino because I could talk to them. They understood. In most cases, those guys are worse off than I could ever be. But not me, it wouldn't happen to me. So I would play alone. I would lose some pots, win some pots, and in the end it felt amazing to know that no one else that I knew had an idea of where I was or what I was doing. It was freedom in the most unstable sense.

Many people don't know the feelings you experience as a closet gambler. When you are at a point where you can't tell anybody, everything becomes empowering and distancing. When you lose you have no one to console you. When you win, you know that you can't tell anyone, but you have money in your pocket and YOU know where it came from.

Of course the life of gambling consumes you. Eccentric red and yellow casino carpet fills the halls of your mind when you dream, and the sound of jackpots and shuffling chips blast your ears until you wake up. You can't wait for the next coin flip.

As your gambling evolves and becomes more of a part of you, you learn the scenarios by heart. You know what it feels like to lose it all and you know what it's like to walk to that cage with a handful of black chips and the relief and happiness that follows as the cashier rips hundred-dollar bills onto the granite countertop.

It's an amazing feeling, when you're eating dinner at 3AM and realize that you just accomplished a great financial feat by winning in one night three times the amount of money that you would have to work for for two weeks. Knowing that you either played great, played smart, or just got lucky while you count in your head over and over again the wad that's in your pocket...that's a fun feeling.

On the other hand when you're eating dinner at 1AM and realize that you just lost everything you'd worked for for the past six days, and have now just recreated for the umpteenth time one of the worst financial disasters in your life, well that's an amazing feeling as well. It hurts. It hurts mentally, it hurts emotionally, but you already know the feeling well because you've been there before. You've been in that same seat twenty times before, and each time you realize you'll have to borrow money to pay rent you tell yourself the same thing, "never again."

Throughout the past 4 years of my life I've known what it's like to borrow money, to lend money, to hide from the skeptics and to emerge from my social cave and to throw it in their faces when I've won. I've been complimented, criticized, questioned, and encouraged over the years. In the end, though, I didn't come out on top.

It's the rush that I miss. It's the joy of victory and the thrill of the gamble. I don't miss the feeling of knowing that I fucked up, but I do miss the overall rollercoaster of emotion.

I decided to quit gambling a long time ago; I obviously didn't. I operated in a no-I-shouldn't-ok-one-more-time mode. There came a point where I lost and couldn't get it back, either because I was broke or because I was so afraid to lose more that I couldn't force myself to place another bet to win it back. When I had finally had enough I made a promise to myself and to those who had seen the damage that it caused that I wasn't to gamble again until I had enough money to do so without consequence.

The past couple times I've truly gambled were times of inebriation and celebration. They were times where I had money to lose, save for the last one-night relapse I had. On that night I didn't lose what I couldn't afford, but the alcohol and general absence of the game from my life brought me to lose all but what I needed to survive.

It was at that point where I realized how much I loved and missed it all. As I sat in that diner seat at 5AM, knowing that I had done it again, I remembered the feeling. I made the necessary vow to myself to not do it again, but why not this time? I have a stable full time job that allows me to live life now. I have money to lose if I want, and I can still pay bills, rent, and go out to eat and buy household goods without hesitation.

I want badly to get back into that life. But I want it to be better this time, I want it to not be the wrong kind. For years I let it run my life in a bad way. I started to not have fun with it all and that's when things were the worst. I stopped having fun with it and started depending on the win. I'm over that way of thinking, and if I ever get back to that way of life I'll make sure it's different this time around.

Three-Step Shinny

One of my favorite things to do when I'm messing around and playing blackjack for fun is to play a step-style bet pattern. I start with one minimum bet and should I win press the bet for a specified amount of hands. If I don't win, I place another single unit bet and try again until I finally hit a run. This betting strategy obviously has nothing to do with skill besides knowing the basic strategy for a 6-deck shoe, and any wins that come from it are purely lucky.

Usually the number is set at 5 or 6 hands. On a $10 bet, this results in either $160 or $320 profit. Of course, winning 5 or 6 hands in a row at blackjack isn't really a plausible win rate, so the profit amount on such a betting strategy is minimal in the long run and is obviously something I would never do on a regular basis. This is purely for fun to see if I can pull it off, and if I do and for some reason I can get this done in under five bets, then obviously the payout is an added bonus to my mental satisfaction.

As Joe and I sat around the apartment with drink in hand on Friday night lamenting the fact that we never play poker anymore, the thoughts of this fun and money-wasting scheme crept into my mind. Of course going to play blackjack after drinks wouldn't be a smart idea for two young 20-somethings who barely pass rent every month.

Why not play poker? We were good at it at one point, and even if we weren't we managed to survive a couple years before we lost it all, and that's enough to make me believe that we can win. Well if don't have the money to waste playing blackjack, we certainly don't have the money to play in a casino-stakes environment. If it were online sure we can play $20 buyins and not worry if we lose.

The problem is that over the past two years we would deposit money online, win while we were sober, and then go into an alcoholic, overextending, shot-taking, donkey-tilting poker bender and lose all we had won in one night. We made an agreement not to do that again after it happened for the fifth time.

So...we had alcohol, we had finished some good dinner, what then would we do? I wanted to play my step betting for fun, while we both have been itching to play poker for a while. Neither of us can really afford to blow money at a casino, but we could play for a little bit. Why not combine the both? How about a step-program shortstack extravaganza?? A Countdown to Robusto.

We made ourselves one more drink before throwing $100 on Full Tilt and devising a step plan. The strategy was to shortstack a 20 big blind stack at 6-max starting with a $20 buyin at the $.50/1NL table. When we got to $40 off of that buyin we'd move to a $1/2 table, after a double-up to $80 we'd go to $2/4 and shortstack until we got to $160+ and then quit. We had five shots at this to see where it would go. If we hit $160 and quit we'd start over again with $20 buyins and do it again.

This isn't anything new, but mostly when stuff like this happens it's a busto needing to reclaim some lost cash by not stopping until he's fully bankrolled again by the end of the night, or losing it all back trying. We were trying to find a happy medium.

The fun part with something like this is that if you can get your money in good and run well, you can profit just as easily as you could with any other run-good gambling. Also, with such a short stack part of the goal is to actually commit yourself to hands that you normally wouldn't force yourself to go busto with, and see what happens. As the Phils like to say, "gambo gambo!"

Here's a couple fun ones from the Countdown to Robusto:


Full Tilt Poker Game #5639095452: Table Cherokee (6 max) - $0.50/$1 - No Limit Hold'em - 0:15:11 ET - 2008/03/15
Seat 1: Kid Crash ($20.30)
Seat 2: Moukar1 ($110.75)
Seat 3: nuK1 ($100), is sitting out
Moukar1 posts the small blind of $0.50
Kid Crash posts the big blind of $1
The button is in seat #2
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Kid Crash [Qc Qd]
Moukar1 raises to $2
Kid Crash raises to $5
Moukar1 raises to $110.75, and is all in
Kid Crash calls $15.30, and is all in
Moukar1 shows [Td Js]
Kid Crash shows [Qc Qd]
Uncalled bet of $90.45 returned to Moukar1
*** FLOP *** [3h 6h 5s]
*** TURN *** [3h 6h 5s] [9h]
*** RIVER *** [3h 6h 5s 9h] [Jh]
Moukar1 shows a pair of Jacks
Kid Crash shows a pair of Queens
Kid Crash wins the pot ($40.10) with a pair of Queens
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $40.60 | Rake $0.50
Board: [3h 6h 5s 9h Jh]
Seat 1: Kid Crash (big blind) showed [Qc Qd] and won ($40.10) with a pair of Queens
Seat 2: Moukar1 (small blind) showed [Td Js] and lost with a pair of Jacks
Seat 3: nuK1 is sitting out


Full Tilt Poker Game #5639212349: Table Egret (6 max) - $0.50/$1 - No Limit Hold'em - 0:25:04 ET - 2008/03/15
Seat 1: pheno ($133.50)
Seat 2: luv4uladies ($142)
Seat 3: martijnvdb ($100)
Seat 4: binxer123 ($113.35)
Seat 5: Kid Crash ($35.60)
Seat 6: Litko ($114.70), is sitting out
binxer123 posts the small blind of $0.50
Kid Crash posts the big blind of $1
The button is in seat #3
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Kid Crash [Ad Jh]
pheno folds
luv4uladies raises to $2
martijnvdb folds
binxer123 folds
Kid Crash raises to $5
luv4uladies calls $3
*** FLOP *** [5s Jc 7s]
Kid Crash bets $7
luv4uladies raises to $14
Kid Crash raises to $30.60, and is all in
luv4uladies calls $16.60
Kid Crash shows [Ad Jh]
luv4uladies shows [Ks Jd]
*** TURN *** [5s Jc 7s] [Kc]
*** RIVER *** [5s Jc 7s Kc] [Tc]
Kid Crash shows a pair of Jacks
luv4uladies shows two pair, Kings and Jacks
luv4uladies wins the pot ($68.70) with two pair, Kings and Jacks
Kid Crash is sitting out
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $71.70 | Rake $3
Board: [5s Jc 7s Kc Tc]
Seat 1: pheno didn't bet (folded)
Seat 2: luv4uladies showed [Ks Jd] and won ($68.70) with two pair, Kings and Jacks
Seat 3: martijnvdb (button) didn't bet (folded)
Seat 4: binxer123 (small blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 5: Kid Crash (big blind) showed [Ad Jh] and lost with a pair of Jacks
Seat 6: Litko is sitting out


Full Tilt Poker Game #5640285945: Table Quetonia (6 max) - $1/$2 - No Limit Hold'em - 2:06:40 ET - 2008/03/15
Seat 1: king_rithy ($64)
Seat 2: jbl3rd ($162.35)
Seat 3: phidddle ($540.90)
Seat 4: Hasu_Ninja ($200)
Seat 5: Kid Crash ($46.20)
Seat 6: NiceBigJohn ($385.20)
Hasu_Ninja posts the small blind of $1
Kid Crash posts the big blind of $2
The button is in seat #3
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Kid Crash [Kd Kh]
NiceBigJohn folds
king_rithy raises to $4
jbl3rd folds
phidddle folds
Hasu_Ninja adds $1
Hasu_Ninja folds
Kid Crash raises to $10
king_rithy calls $6
*** FLOP *** [4d 6h 5s]
Kid Crash bets $12
king_rithy raises to $54, and is all in
Kid Crash calls $24.20, and is all in
king_rithy shows [Qd 7d]
Kid Crash shows [Kd Kh]
Uncalled bet of $17.80 returned to king_rithy
*** TURN *** [4d 6h 5s] [Jd]
*** RIVER *** [4d 6h 5s Jd] [3h]
king_rithy shows a straight, Seven high
Kid Crash shows a pair of Kings
king_rithy wins the pot ($90.40) with a straight, Seven high
Kid Crash is sitting out
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $93.40 | Rake $3
Board: [4d 6h 5s Jd 3h]
Seat 1: king_rithy showed [Qd 7d] and won ($90.40) with a straight, Seven high
Seat 2: jbl3rd didn't bet (folded)
Seat 3: phidddle (button) didn't bet (folded)
Seat 4: Hasu_Ninja (small blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 5: Kid Crash (big blind) showed [Kd Kh] and lost with a pair of Kings
Seat 6: NiceBigJohn didn't bet (folded)


Full Tilt Poker Game #5639262596: Table Lamb (6 max) - $1/$2 - No Limit Hold'em - 0:29:23 ET - 2008/03/15
Seat 1: Kid Crash ($38)
Seat 2: drfeelgood133 ($622.60)
Seat 3: ripkeniv ($166)
Seat 4: le_kiki ($207)
Seat 5: jprewis ($370.50)
Seat 6: adyar ($197)
ripkeniv posts the small blind of $1
le_kiki posts the big blind of $2
The button is in seat #2
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Kid Crash [9d 9c]
jprewis calls $2
adyar raises to $9
Kid Crash calls $9
drfeelgood133 raises to $41
ripkeniv folds
le_kiki folds
jprewis has 15 seconds left to act
jprewis folds
adyar folds
Kid Crash calls $29, and is all in
drfeelgood133 shows [Ad Qd]
Kid Crash shows [9d 9c]
Uncalled bet of $3 returned to drfeelgood133
*** FLOP *** [2c 6h 5c]
*** TURN *** [2c 6h 5c] [Ts]
*** RIVER *** [2c 6h 5c Ts] [5h]
drfeelgood133 shows a pair of Fives
Kid Crash shows two pair, Nines and Fives
Kid Crash wins the pot ($87) with two pair, Nines and Fives
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $90 | Rake $3
Board: [2c 6h 5c Ts 5h]
Seat 1: Kid Crash showed [9d 9c] and won ($87) with two pair, Nines and Fives
Seat 2: drfeelgood133 (button) showed [Ad Qd] and lost with a pair of Fives
Seat 3: ripkeniv (small blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 4: le_kiki (big blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 5: jprewis folded before the Flop
Seat 6: adyar folded before the Flop


Full Tilt Poker Game #5639422581: Table Goldspur (6 max) - $2/$4 - No Limit Hold'em - 0:43:18 ET - 2008/03/15
Seat 1: Bullseye900 ($86.50)
Seat 2: StKolbe ($354.95)
Seat 3: Century2005 ($150)
Seat 4: smallboy3215 ($554.40)
Seat 5: Kid Crash ($96.80)
Seat 6: thelilbearbeeny ($557.60)
thelilbearbeeny posts the small blind of $2
Bullseye900 posts the big blind of $4
The button is in seat #5
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Kid Crash [Jc Js]
StKolbe folds
Century2005 folds
smallboy3215 folds
Kid Crash raises to $12
thelilbearbeeny raises to $40
Bullseye900 folds
Kid Crash raises to $96.80, and is all in
thelilbearbeeny calls $56.80
Kid Crash shows [Jc Js]
thelilbearbeeny shows [Kc Ah]
*** FLOP *** [Qc 8h Ks]
*** TURN *** [Qc 8h Ks] [3d]
*** RIVER *** [Qc 8h Ks 3d] [2h]
Kid Crash shows a pair of Jacks
thelilbearbeeny shows a pair of Kings
thelilbearbeeny wins the pot ($194.60) with a pair of Kings
Kid Crash is sitting out
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $197.60 | Rake $3
Board: [Qc 8h Ks 3d 2h]
Seat 1: Bullseye900 (big blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 2: StKolbe didn't bet (folded)
Seat 3: Century2005 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 4: smallboy3215 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 5: Kid Crash (button) showed [Jc Js] and lost with a pair of Jacks
Seat 6: thelilbearbeeny (small blind) showed [Kc Ah] and won ($194.60) with a pair of Kings


Full Tilt Poker Game #5639642796: Table Goldring (6 max) - $2/$4 - No Limit Hold'em - 1:03:08 ET - 2008/03/15
Seat 1: bosshagz ($226.60)
Seat 2: homeboi49 ($96)
Seat 3: GiVeMeTheCake ($449)
Seat 4: NigelWinters ($448.30)
Seat 5: kevy34 ($62.50)
Seat 6: Kid Crash ($95.95)
kevy34 posts the small blind of $2
Kid Crash posts the big blind of $4
The button is in seat #4
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Kid Crash [7c 6h]
bosshagz raises to $14
homeboi49 folds
GiVeMeTheCake folds
NigelWinters folds
kevy34 folds
Kid Crash folds
Uncalled bet of $10 returned to bosshagz
bosshagz mucks
bosshagz wins the pot ($10)
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $10 | Rake $0
Seat 1: bosshagz collected ($10), mucked
Seat 2: homeboi49 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 3: GiVeMeTheCake didn't bet (folded)
Seat 4: NigelWinters (button) didn't bet (folded)
Seat 5: kevy34 (small blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 6: Kid Crash (big blind) folded before the Flop


Full Tilt Poker Game #5639646782: Table Goldring (6 max) - $2/$4 - No Limit Hold'em - 1:03:31 ET - 2008/03/15
Seat 1: bosshagz ($232.60)
Seat 2: homeboi49 ($96)
Seat 3: GiVeMeTheCake ($449)
Seat 4: NigelWinters ($448.30)
Seat 5: kevy34 ($60.50)
Seat 6: Kid Crash ($91.95)
Kid Crash posts the small blind of $2
bosshagz is sitting out
homeboi49 posts the big blind of $4
The button is in seat #5
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Kid Crash [7d 6d]
GiVeMeTheCake folds
NigelWinters folds
kevy34 folds
bosshagz stands up
BubbleBoy87 adds $400
Kid Crash raises to $12
homeboi49 calls $8
*** FLOP *** [7s 6s Ad]
Kid Crash bets $16
homeboi49 raises to $84, and is all in
Kid Crash calls $63.95, and is all in
homeboi49 shows [Jd Ah]
Kid Crash shows [7d 6d]
Uncalled bet of $4.05 returned to homeboi49
*** TURN *** [7s 6s Ad] [7c]
*** RIVER *** [7s 6s Ad 7c] [4h]
homeboi49 shows two pair, Aces and Sevens
Kid Crash shows a full house, Sevens full of Sixes
Kid Crash wins the pot ($180.90) with a full house, Sevens full of Sixes
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $183.90 | Rake $3
Board: [7s 6s Ad 7c 4h]
Seat 1: bosshagz is sitting out
Seat 2: homeboi49 (big blind) showed [Jd Ah] and lost with two pair, Aces and Sevens
Seat 3: GiVeMeTheCake didn't bet (folded)
Seat 4: NigelWinters didn't bet (folded)
Seat 5: kevy34 (button) didn't bet (folded)
Seat 6: Kid Crash (small blind) showed [7d 6d] and won ($180.90) with a full house, Sevens full of Sixes


Some hands sucked. Some hands made me lozl. Some hands made me fist pump. Overall by the end of the night I had two shots at the $2/4, the first one I flipped JJ vs AK and lost. The second one I got in the right position and held up. After $100, playing all night, and losing and winning some the final tally in my cashier was...$100. Night having fun, playing some cards, gambling, and of course drinking, and I broke even. Good enough for me!

While it might be a little while before I get back into the game, I have a feeling that I will be back to gambo in this style a bit more.

To Blog Again...

I haven't blogged or played poker in quite some time now. While this won't be a full entry, it will be a reminder to myself that I do like writing, despite the fact that I often find myself too lazy to do so. I have plenty of uncompleted entries and ignored titles in my Blogger queue, but to see the day in which they all come to fruition seems to be more and more of a distant hope as the days at work pass.

To quit or to push through.

To drink or to stay sober.

To spend or to save.

If I don't write out the hassles, the hassles seem to build up. Perhaps it's time that I truly start writing. Perhaps it's time to make something of myself and maybe to rejoin society as a successful member and contributor instead of a 22-year-old office drone who rarely does good by anyone and who thrives on mediocrity.

To write or to stay the pen.